iz it September yet?...grrrr

i kno i kno....it jus ended last week but DAYUMMM...they don't make enuff excedrin to keep up wiff me...lol...

hope ya'll recovered from last weeks novel...i expect eileen back this weekend from da honeymoon n she'll gimmie da details i missed afta leavin...i'll also see iffen i can tag along fer countryfest ...i also will spare ya guys n try to be as brief as possible...long winded coopy?..come on now...lol....

thursday wuz da last day of school...all i can say iz dat standing down at da busstop i wasn't da only parent cringin..lol..BUT...their kids are goin to summer camp..i have so damn many kids its camp coopy everyday,lol...no really i'm not sendin mine to camp fer a cpl years...hell i have da furkin pool, might as well keep em home n use it b4 it collapses again,lol..next time it does..da movie star has declared he's gonna have a nice big round...GARDEN...LOL..oh n one of them there inflatable pools,lol...my mom said.."why don't ya get yer own inground pool kit n do it yerself.."...to which danny n gary both looked at her like she wuz da furkin antichrist..lol...which may not be so far from da truth!!,lol.....

friday...oh gawd, can't we just skip friday?..it blew holes in cheerios, fer real...kids home their first day were fightin so bad i jus wanted to cry..then..fri. night...he comes home...now mind you, i'm a smart woman..(don't laff i jus play it up in yahell )...lol..anywho...he gets out of da bananamobile n instantly i knew...he wuz drunk...i jus knew...he gets this goofy perma smile, n walks even more fairy-ish...i could feel muh blood boilin!!!...sittin here now thinkin bout it i'm gettin upset...so anyway...i'm instantly pissed..he furked up the kids mc'y d's order...to which they bugged on me...n i'm just pissed...thinkin bout how he does this..yet again knowin how pissed it makes me n iz totally irresponsible...he'd prolly shit readin this me layin it all out here but hey..FURK HIM...i wuz so mad i coulda...nevamind...so lisa comes in, n i get ready...i start talkin to him n of course i'm turned into da bad guy, but i wuzn't standin fer it...i let him have it right in da kitchen, n we argued a bit...then he goes out with his perma smile n moves da truck so i could get out...i drove, cuz hey lemme see...DATS DA RESPONSIBLE THING...furker...we barely spoke thru shoppin, no biggie...i wuzn't carin...then at da van he's puttin stuff in..n he starts goin on bout since he's the big jerk anyway he'd tell me bout his shitty day n why he wuz drinkin...oh fer da luv of god cry me a river big man....i let him have it again right in da furkin parkin lot...n i wuz fired up...i ended up in tears, not ashamed to say, n got in da van..peckerhead soon followed (although muh gut wuz tellin me to drive home wiffout him n let him fairysache his arse home)...i drove home n bout 2 minutes into dat drive, he got all apologetic...wuteva...now by this time who of all people iz at muh house?..DA FRUIT...LOL...i composed muhself n as soon as i got in da door n heard.."mom did u get da cookie crisp"..muh life wuz normal once again...kids were screamin everywhere cuz mango has em all over his head n piggy back this one n that one...i put da groceries away n lisa sat with me while da movie star n da fruit stayed outside to "bond"...uhhuh ova lil brown bag......i knew i wuz in fer a long night...lisa n i sat n watched Halloween 5...i had timmy, chris, n cakie convinced michael myers iz a clown, lmao..timmy says.."whys dat lil girl runnin away from him?"...i say.."aww hunny she doesn't want him to tell her a joke..some people don't like clowns.."...LMAO...alex is there rollin his eyes n laffin..furker,lol..all da bad parts we changed ova to da weather channel tho...lol...then fric n frac come in n ate pizza...da movie star ended up on da kitchen floor.....then after they left, i put the kids to bed, he barely participated, but long enuff to fall asleep in between timmy n cakies beds...GRRRRRR ...i wuz fumin so bad i couldn't think of chattin...so i went n got timmy n cakie outta bed n took em with me...dat wuz at 10...by 1 i'd say timmy finally fell asleep, damn insomniac,lol...

saturday wuz more or less kiss up day, no garage projects, no yardwork...no calls from friends comin up to pass thru grand central station..we watched movies, n jus hung out..acted like nuttin happened n when asked wuz more er' less an "overreaction" ...no details peeps but bein dat "smart woman"...i kno it wuz pretty much a story i got fer an added effect excuse to get da blame off wut i wuz pissed bout... men, they neva learn...sooo anywho...sat. night we all hopped in da family bus n headed ova to da motherlesbianinlaws who wuz now home from vacation...we hadda lil visit, kids ate her outta house n home, we got presents, lol...i got candles woohoo,lol...cakie got lip gloss n body glitter ..WTF she's 3!!!!!......i'd tell ya she luvs it but dat'd mean i actually let her keep it,lol..ask again in like 10 years iffen i can find it dat iz,lol...back at da ranch da movie star n i watched a movie..a furkin movie dat lasted 3 damn hours, 3 very long damn hours...i wuz exhausticated...lol...

i told ya this would be short...LOL

sunday, i made breakfast, n he wuz out doin yardwork at bout 7 am...we hadda get da house n backyard in order cuz we were havin chris' lil graduation party at 2...wuz a good lil party, i say lil, cuz its half da size of a normal party,lol...mom, n lisa, n da fruit n kiwi...muh aunt n uncle wiff muh cousin n her lil hs gf...motherlesbianinlaw n "casey" n great gram...n da 3 aunties,lol...(da blue haired group...)...oh n then theres my clan,lol..so small...n it was a beautiful day so it wuz all outdoors...less cleanup,lol..after dat it wuz pretty much jus chillin out...

so far this week i've been taxi once...alex's friend connor wanted alex to go to his house so we scheduled a "date" fer yesterday...i drop him off n omg mr creepy dad(has da stature of leatherface n da look of bart simpson..)...comes over to talk...says to get him at 4...wuteverrr...so i go back at 4 n da whole family iz outside...they have 3 boys n not only does connor look like dat chucky doll from da scary movie but so do his 2 younger brothers ...

mr creepy dad called me earlier today, n asked if conor could come ova tomorrow.."sure that'll be great, i'm here everyday"..."well thats wonderful...i'm home everyday as well".. PLEASE tell me dats not an insinuation..good gawd,lol...yikes so now i have 5 kids tomorrow...OH DA JOY...lol, n he looks like chucky ...

ok da movie star jus came in n said.."you should save all those to disc n when ya have a bunch you should publish em"...LMFAO..."ya think?"... if he only furkin knew all da stuff i say...lol...he wouldn't be sayin dat i'm sure!!!!!..LMFAO...hehehe...too damn furkin funny...lol..ok ok...dats alls i gots fer now...hope everyone has a safe n happy 4th of furkin july...i have a christening on sunday (cousins todds kid...i'm STILL wonderin when he found religion..thinkin its his gf..lol)...i'm sure the church won't fall on me, last weeks church iz still standin afterall...lol...bbq after... then of course fireworks dat i could really give a shit iffen i see er' not but.."its fer da kids"...uhhuh right wuteverrrrrr,lol......kk me off like da undies i STILL don't wear...n i gotta say..HAPPY EARLY FURKIN BIRFDAY TO MUH ONE N ONLY BESTEST IN DA WHOLE WIDE WORLD I LUVS YA BRO...yup its tangs birfday on friday...give him hell....well ummm...NM, LOL....no really..happy birthday ...hugglez n cheek pecks, n iffen i had porn i'd send it to ya but chances are ya already have a copy er' 2...lol...kk muh peeps...have a great week...see ya next week fer more carpal tunnel fun times, lol...

coopy

ok i've kept it ta muhself long enuff....lol

i swear i've been dodgin so many questions bout da weddin,lol...i wanted to not hafta repeat muhself to everyone n their uncle so i made even da nearest n dearest wait til now....lol..

okies well the saga started wednesday night..

oh n btw...i skipped outta spawn class last week..i had no urge to be there for their last "centers"..i was jus afraid i wuz gonna get stuck makin "zebra zack" who do i think i'm kiddin?..LOL..i went n rented a slew of movies n then came home n laid in da sun...after da previous weeks "torchin" of da epidermis i was pleased wiff da color situation...

soooo...ahh yes wednseday night we made our phone calls..i called eileen to make sure she hadn't fled da country n to make sure i knew where i wuz goin..after da dry run da movie star n i went on i felt confident i could get there n not end up in buffalo..lol..then hubby called his aunt (whose daughter was to babysit da day of da weddin)...well apparently me callin n settin this date 2 months before meant nuttin, iffen he hadn't called they woulda left for camp friday mornin, thus leavin us sitterless... his furkin family i tell ya...she could still do it but she couldn't get here til later in the day so he'd hafta miss the church..no big deal cept i'm in da furkin thing..ah well...can't win em all...

thursday night oh bout lets see kids go to bed at 7:30 on a schoolnite, well hmm lets see..ahh yes well at bout 8:45 ...da motherlesbianinlaw decides to come visit wiff da movie stars grandmother n "casey" to see da kids since they'd be away on vacation for a week...wut-ever...lol....i wasn't pleased but again...ah well...fine, they left..see ya next week,lol..ahh peace,lol...

friday went pretty smoothly fer most of da day, although da nerves startin kickin in bigtime...i tryed remainin calm...then danny showed up....lol..."ready to bust yer ass?"...furker..lol...he was watchin da kiddoes while da movie star did da grocery shoppin..alone..(i swear i was cringin thinkin i'd come home to an empty fridg n all da little debbie snacks ya could ever want)...LOL..so i wuz off...i battled da rush hour traffic n made it to da church perfectly on time...eileen wuz outside n i chatted wiff her a bit before we went in...then we went in, i was scopin...i saw a guy, not bad i'm thinkin, but i didn't ask...then muh gf jen from high school showed up...hadn't seen her since MY weddin 7 years ago, lol...yeah we used ta be real close but she's in da air force n one of them there texans now...lol.....anywho, i showed her pics of muh brats n she introduced me to da flavor du jour...her boyfriend...lol...apparently he's one of them their floridians n jus got outta da air force...totally not da type she used ta bang every night back in hs, but hey, we all gotta grow up sometime..LOL...everyone shows up...i chatted a bit wiff pat da groom to be n he assured me he wuz fine, lol...uhhuh...so then da priest comes out...i swear he was a trip from da get go..soft spoken but whenever he talked it was funny...he asks the bridal party to go to da back of da church...we get down there n he starts linin people up...asks which lady will bravely go first..OH HELL NOOOOOO!!!...lol...i pushed jen out there, lmao..so she's first n he pairs her wiff eileens brother..lucky bitch at least she knew him,lol..then he calls me next..then asks who i'm with..eileen says.."she's with robbie"..n he steps up.....ya'll think I'M short?..lol...he's a lil guy maybe 5'5...lol...but a cutie, definitely do-able,lol....we're standin there, n everyone else lines up...then da priest is givin his instructions..we're facing him...tells the men.."keep to the right of the american fag"...yes he said fag...so help me jesus i lost it...i turned around n tried to hold it in, but dear lord above i lost it..i was dyin..poor guy kept talkin...jen lost it but regained herself..meanwhile i'm in tears..LMAO...ok ok i regain composure n turn around again...da priest then says.."now you women next because you are always the last ones to come"...OMG...i near pissed muhself....bein in a church i tried not to laff so loud but sweet jesus that was furkin HILARIOUS...i hadda be ten shades of red..but so was everyone else, lmao... at dat point i think robbie thought I was a freak fer sure,lol...so we take a dry run down da aisle, n i'm thinkin..its not so bad, small church...then we go thru all da pomp n circumstance n shit...then we go back up da aisle, this time arm in arm wiff our ushers...he tells me he's an idiot n we're perfect for each other, lmao...n i tell him i'm gonna trip n i'm gonna take him with me,lol...we were goofy but it was cute...then eileens mom hops in muh van n drives me to da grooms moms house..i'd been there before but being me they were sure i'd end up in buffalo, lol...was yer normal rehearsal dinner...lotta italian food which i like, n alotta chattin bout old days...thinkin robbie knew i was a freak fer sure when eileen started bustin out da old days of hs stories...I WAS AN ANGEL I SWEAR...LOL....it got to be like 9 p.m n i wasn't so thrilled bout goin home 45 minutes in da black night so we got our bridal party gifts (big ole basket of lotion, candles(pervs), sprays, soaps n a pearl necklace)..robbie asked me iffen i wuz goin out that night n i said no, then asked iffen i wuz goin wiff em ta breakfast da next mornin n i said no i hadda get muh hair done,lol...then i say.."ok lil man i'll see ya down da aisle"..LOL...he wasn't thrilled with "lil man"...but hey, i wouldn't be me iffen i didn't have sumfin ta say,lol...on muh way out i hit eileens brothers truck backin up.....i jus bumped it fer da luv....i told ya i don't like drivin in da dark....lol...felt bad tho...lol...i got home n danny wuz still parked in muh driveway...they're sittin wiff da meat locker open, its like negative 20 in muh house, n they have da damn surround sound goin high watchin some damn car show...lol..furkin men...gary assured me he got everything on da grocery list i left him n danny told me he had only one "incident"..apparently timmy was bitchin fer his orange juice cup, which he had left in his room, ...he tells danny he wants it, danny tells him to go get it..timmy tells danny whining..."u go get it"...danny says no, u go get it...to which timmy replied..."*sighin*..uncle danny..yer a pain in my ass"...LMAO...too funny, i luv dat kid,lol...i went thru da basket n checked out muh goodies, asked "i take it i'm sposed to wear these pearls tomorrow?"...both furkin men looked up from da tv, n simultaneously replied.."Duh"....furkers...i flipped em both off,lol...then danny left n i decided since i had a full day ahead i'd go to bed early...not even a sex call..lol...

saturday mornin i got right up, n started gettin stuff ready fer da kids..then i painted muh nails, got da camera ready, n alot of the odds n ends i'd hafta put in muh purse to take along...also got the card ready n stuffed a $50 in it...i woulda gotten da anniversary card ready fer dat party too but considerin da movie star got a 25th wedding anniversary card to "2 wonderful parents"..(they're muh aunt n uncle fer cryin out loud,lol)...i bypassed dat..i called mom, then it was time to get muh hair done..gary handed me a $50 n i was off..i got there n looked at a book n found a style i liked..."josephine" (aka..da older lady wiff da long island accent n 3 inch nails n bright pink lipstick) took me to her station n she got to work..an hour later i wuz done...$40 dollars, n a $10 tip i thanked her n left...i get home, the kids are freakin, they loved da hair, gary did too til i told him dat $50 wuz gone..lmao...he grabbed da camera n told me to turn around..n he took a pic of it.."there's $50 "..he says, lol...he's a nut...he got da kids lunch as i did da face paintin,lol...then he helped me into muh dress wiffout me killin da "fortune do"...nerves weren't too bad...i was calm...just excited...so we all load up into da van n they drop me off at eileens moms...i helped her get all ready then the "photographer wench from hell" showed up...she wuz such a bitch i thought ei's mom wuz gonna deck her, lmao...we took pics then the limo guy showed up..he wuz furkin hot,lol...the day was flyin by at this point...we all got in the limo n headed to da church..at da church when we all got out, i was the last bridesmaid to get out..eileen wuz still in there, i get up n start walkin towards da door n fall onto da seat..lol..eileen says.."ok theres yer fall".."shup", lol...we get escorted into this lil room in back n i swear it was like a room people would go into to watch an execution,lol..."dat a good sign?"..i say...lol..limo guy got a kick outta me,lol...then jen thought she got her "friend" so she went to check..lol..she wuz k,lmao...at this point da ring bearers mom decides to leave thinkin he'd be fine if she left...he starts SCREAMIN bloody murder..."mommy".."mommy"...she goes..we tryed calmin him but it wasn't happenin..poor kid...da maid of honor wuz like sayin shut up to da poor kid, eileen says its k if he goes...n i turn to da limo guy n ask him to take him to his mom...he did n all wuz well again..poor kid...church was not packed at all...WOOHOOOO!!!!...i made it to da end of da aisle wiffout fallin, n wuz pleased wiff da guy in da tux smilin when i got there...lol...we got thru da mass, i wuz hopin da priest would furk up his words again but he didn't, lol...i was also pleased i didn't cry..lol..she's a big girl tho no need fer dat,lol...n tell me this...why is it dat at every weddin da passage is always dat same furkin one about divorce, n how god doesn't believe in it?...i mean FURK, lol..poor jens been there done dat n well i'm not exactly da poster child fer a blissful union so it jus bewilders me,lol..they wanna scare ya er' wut?..lol...i jus laffed...n OMG i worried too much bout trippin when i shoulda been worried bout all dat damn up n down church stuff...holy hell i went to sit down after a readin er' sumfin n hadn't realized i nervously shuffled a lil to da left..go to sit down n THANK GOD i put muh hand down first cuz i woulda sat OFF da damn chair...omg THAT woulda sucked worse than trippin,LOL...

*sidenote*..it's now wednesday as i'm franticly typin this...i started it last night at bout 6pm,lol..

ok soooooooooooo...where wuz i?...lemme scroll...ok so hellifiknow wutever happened to "by the powers vested in me n blah blah blah..u may now kiss da bride"...well...father screwdawordsup presents em as a couple n they go on down da aisle...he then proceeds to wander down to the parents n da rest of us in da bridal party jus stood there completely confused, lol..guess we shoulda paid more attention friday night n less on da american fag n cummin last, LMAO!!!!...we finally jus paired up n started walkin...robbie helped me down off da steps n walkin up da aisle he was reassurin me i wouldn't fall then complimented on how i looked...awwww...in da back of da church we jus milled around a minute er' two then with no receiving line we all filtered into this 10 passenger limo (was 13 of us)..n headed to da park fer more pictures wiff da photographerbitchfromhell chick...so we park n all filter out, i'm last AGAIn, but i didn't fall this time,lol...i got water from da hottie driver n downed a few migraine pills cuz all 300 hairpins in muh "do" had finally given me da headache i knew wuz comin...i followed those by 2 glasses of champagne, then photographerbitchfromhell led us on a hike thru trees, n rock (in heels )...to a semi-shaded area of da park..(optimal picture light er some shit)..keep in mind i'm mumblin obscenities da whole way...n i must say, that both sides of da family were invited to da park as well fer pictures so bout 50 people showed n pictures were taken left n right...da bridal party wuz jus standin around holdin their empty champagne glasses,lol..wut does darlene do?......i tipped mine down n had wut wuz in da bottom of da glass splatter ALL ova da bottom of muh dress......this wasn't water dat jus dries up...this stained......it looked like i wuz havin a lil TOO much fun in dat limo, LMAO..robbies like "oh u goof"...n pictures hadn't been taken yet.....they took em creatively, lol...i had a scarf wiff da dress i kinda draped dat way n held it up a lil, lol...after pics we piled back into da limo n chugged about 3 more bottles of champagne..i think i took pics but then again i spilled champagne on da camera too..shhh movie star doesn't kno yet ...i called him from da limo to make sure he got there n he did, but they sat him at da wrong table..not dat he wuz complainin too much..i told him da chick from da bridal shower wiff da big ole tits would prolly be there being that she works wiff eileen n she wuz at his table, lol..he kept tellin me all night "they are AMAZING"...but apparently.."she's dumb as a stump tho"...oh n there wuz another chick at his table with amazing tits too,lol...i told him bout da dress disaster n dat we were en route,lol...

get to da reception hall n i wuz pretty damn buzzin,lol..i kno we had more to drink, think it wuz beer n wine...then we were gettin instructions to line up..this time WE hadda walk first......at da sound of our names called i dumped wine on da other side of muh dress n like da slob i wuz we walked up...LOL...then it wuz first dance time..robbie n i, lookin like 2 lil dwarfs looked cute together n we jus chatted a bit.."point out yer hubby fer me will ya?..so i kno when to let go of yer ass"..LOL...he wuzn't,lol...ok peeps this is where it gets fuzzy...lol..bits n pieces were...jen wuz hammered within the first 15 minutes n we spent much of the night going in between the baffroom n reception..robbie is 38, says da "one" is married so he hasta wait....said he couldn't give me anything but offered me his flower dat wuz pinned on his tux..i dragged muh scarf thru da gravy on muh dinner plate..robbie proclaimed to eileens brother we'll be married someday...i wuz ooglin da amazing tits along wiff da movie star...at one point they set up a shot of sumfin n i wuz called ova..i bowed out, lol..(think bout it,lol)..so eileen calls gary up to take muh place,lol..here i am in da middle of robbie n gary..WOOHOO...LOL...i danced wiff a bunch of people, including robbies brother whom i'll call "guido" cuz he had bout 15 gold chains on, a ton of cologne n a white dress shirt with bout 6 buttons undone exposin some serious chest hair, LOL..n hellificanremember wut song we were dancin to but he wuz signin it...EWWWW...LOL...then i realized it wuz like 8 o'clock n i hadda be to da anniversary party..lol...we had about a zillion hugz from eileen..gary grabbed her ass, she grabbed his, lol...we kissed ...no tongue tho,lol..n then we were off but not before a very tanked jen caught us at da door n hugged me fer about a half hour telling me she misses us n how we need to stay in touch...k jen really...lol...

we get outta there n i realized i neva said bye to muh date,lol...i felt horrible but i'm thinkin i'll see him again,hehehe...get to da anniversary party..da fruit met us at da door cuz he saw da bananamobile pull up...we go in n OMG i had never seen so many drunk people n OMG da music wuzzz soooo loud...too damn loud...i greeted da family n within 5 minutes dad (very drunk) had me slow dancin to a kid rock song, lol...tellin me i'm the best n shit,lol...gotta luv dad,lol...we stayed about an hour then headed back home to let da babysitter free...i don't remember much, i kno i came in n stood at da trash takin da hair pins out...i kissed da kids..took da dress off..n i think i got the kids cups ready fer da mornin..no crazy sex...i fell into a coma on da couch...lol..i remember gettin up at 2 fer more migraine pills, lol..then i wuz up at 7 watchin spiderman n eatin 3 pieces of bread n drinkin water, lmao...i wasn't sick tho!!!...jus feelin like FURKIN SHIT...LOL..gary passed out sideways on da bed so he wuz out..n being fathers day it was muh breakfast duty...but by then i wuz starved cuz i think i only ate two bites of dinner at da weddin...so when the kids were all up n i felt semi-ok...i got up..(muh pants were on backwards )...i made breakfast n gary got up...we watched a movie wiff da kids n i made muh pasta salad fer da family picnic...then bout 2 ish we took off fer dat...got home oh like 6 hours lata (she never could have a 2 hour party, grrr)...n we got the kids ready fer school....

yesterday i went into spawn class fer da last time n watched graduation rehearsal..then they took da kids out onto da playground (da wet from just rainin playground)..n we stayed out..timmy was walkin up slides instead of goin down em i hadda keep chasin him so i finally had enuff n left...

this mornin wuz graduation, we met mom n lisa n da fruit at da school, got alex out n went to da gym, it wuz a sweet ceremony..they had a slide show wiff all da kids on it, too cute...then after da parade of graduates thru da school, we took a cpl pics then left fer pizza hut...there i asked lisa n da fruit iffen they can babysit fri. night while we do our shoppin..they agreed,lol....i can finally feel muh life slowin down a bit...lol..

tomorrow iz da last day of school, a full day thank god..lol, then vacation...lord help me, i'm gonna turn into an evil woman u wait n see...da stress level will be thru da roof,lol..

sunday we're havin a small family gathering here...(hadda be sunday cuz motherlesbianinlaw is away til saturday)...fer our lil graduate..after dat i THINK its kinda quiet...ohhh there is countryfest, da all day concert...gary doesn't wanna go so i'm thinkin i'm goin eileen n pat...possibly others ..dats in july...n i think we're sposed to be havin a bbq fer dad who's retirin in july too...furk...i wuz wrong, it neva slows down, lmao...ahh well....lol...this is da longest email i eva composed..plz send donations to da coopys carpel tunnel fund via opal, lmao...ok i need bout a weeks rest still so while its 50% quiet imma gonna do dat.first i needa beat some children tho cuz chris jus exclaimed to me dat as he was singin jus now in his room "alex jus punched me in my penis"..dear god help me,lol....ttyl'ers...

coopy

wooo an early one...i'm too furkin busy lata this week,lol..

holy furk..ok i'm freakin out..this was jus "da weddin" dat i'd mention repeatedly fer bout ohhh a year now, n omg it's in 6 days....freakin is actually an understatement...i can NOT wait til its ova...see iffen it was winter i'd be lookin fer ice to bust muh ass so dat i could get outta it, lmao..no furkin ice..i'm in it, no turnin back...eileen (da bride n muh bestest friend from hs) brought da dress to me thursday...it's gorgeous..tried it on fer da movie star n he was like.."well hmm look at dat yer in a dress..n umm whoa..n umm ya did damn good matchin da hair, lol"...he's a furker i tell ya...oh n i had da shoes on too n had him cut da lil strappy things n add a hole er' two so i can wear em REAL furkin tight..(as to not bust muh ass..i really am seriously freakin bout dat,lmao)...after i got da dress muh checklist went into action...i wasn't gonna wear a slip but ummm came to a realization i can't be wiffout it, lol...n muh hairdresser is leavin thursday fer vacation so i hadda do some callin fer someone to gimme da ole "up-do"..LOL...hubbys like "can'tcha do it yerself?".."puhleaseee...it's an expensive day deal wiff it, lol.."...lil things left i could grab at wally world ova da weekend...

friday...well in da a.m. i made da mistake of callin mom.....we're jus bs'in n we started talkin bout hubby somehow..talkin bout how he lost weight...n outta no where..."well he has no ass".....oh hell no..i jus laughed but its kinda sickenin knowin moms checkin him out......i'd be sure to tell him too don't u worry, lol...lata dat afternoon i laid in da sun, n OMG i was torched all down da front of me...movie star comes home n we're gettin ready fer shoppin, n i'm in this lil blue top n completely red down da front of me...like a line where i was split front n back, lmao..he says.."omg u are THAT person"..."here's an idea..ROLL OVA"...furker, lmao...i explained muhself sayin "shup, i'm doin da otha side tomorrow"...LOL..we were gonna go out fer dinner but jus before we headed out after da motherlesbianinlaw finally showed..lisa called n wanted to stop n get motherlesbianinlaws gift dats been sittin on muh counter fer a week...sure np..i hang up n look at da movie star.."HAHAHA no dinner...yer buddys comin", n i'm laffin....he's like huh?...i tell him..."oh hell no we're goin out"..n he's laffin...we quickly shop, he's bumpin into me every chance he can to irritate da sunburn cuz he's a furker dat way...lol...we go to check out...n they decide to card me fer da alcohol...i didn't have muh license big surprise huh? ..i thought hubby was gonna blow a gasket, they see us every week...i'm like np..n i'm tellin him to shush, lol...told him iffen he was gonna bitch to bitch at me...lol...we leave n he goes to da beverage mart, lol i sat dat one out..he gets back in da truck wiff da booze n like da smartass he is, smirks at me n says..."he asked to see yer license "..LOL.."u furker..hurry up we gotta get home"..."when are they comin?".."now"..LOL..we get home n unload...n phone rings..it's lisa, they're too tired.....i didn't go off on her tho i dissed a dinner fer her n his convict ass...grrrr...she promised she'd be ova on da weekend n i jus said..k...movie star wasn't pleased at all but hey dats life, lol...

saturday...hubby worked in da a.m...n i jus went about muh day...by late mornin i had da troops outside n i was "evenin" da back..LOL...movie star comes home carryin a bag..i thought he was payin da cable bill......he not only paid it but decided we hadda have da digital cable.....great anotha remote to lose n have alex in therapy fer,lol...then he tells me dannys comin up in a bit to help unload our old washin machine from 2 years ago,lol...umm k...i'm tannin here,lol...he went in n cleaned up then immediately got da box n digital cable goin... 5 minute box rule...figures...i come in n ask him.."how am i lookin?"..."a lil red "..he says "not enuff tho"..."k then i'll go back fer another half hour er' so"...i come in a half hour lata...immediately i'm in severe pain..DAT FURKER!!!!!...lmao...i was sooo torched...i started da lotion therapy ASAP...i'm all kindsa slo movin n shit n i couldn't sit..jus lay on muh tummy on da couch, LOL...when i was feelin slightly better wiff da lotion on i went into da kitchen to get dinner in order, he comes in...kids are in da livin room...i ask him to apply more to muh back..he does...as he is cakie walks in n is makin a drawin next to us...i lean ova...he pulls muh shorts down n slaps muh ass......got half da sunburned part, lol....OUCH, lol..but i can't complain,he won't let me, cuz he hates da fact dat i do this in da first place,lol...lol...cakie looks up n laughs hysterically.."dad..u spanked mom"...n that wasn't good nuff'...she goes into da living room n goes to alex sittin there wiff his gameboy.."alex..daddy jus spanked mom"...then to chris watchin t.v..."fris'...dad jus spanked mom..."...then to timmy playin wiff his matchbox cars.."timmy...dad jus spanked mom"...movie star n i are jus dyin, lol...cuz it was so funny hearin her go to each n say that n none of em acknowledged her er' what she had to say, lmao...i was like "i can see it now..."uncle danny..dad jus spanked mom".."...LOL...she had forgotten by the time he showed up, n they got out da washer then we jus bs'd about the nudie channels we now have as i laid in pain on da couch,lol...then hubby decides after dinner.."field trip to home depot n wal-mart"..OUCH..but um "k "...we pack up n head to home depot...we stay in da van, he goes in..furk me have i eva mentioned home depot is great to hang out n watch da hot guys goin in?...furk furk furk, i wasn't feelin pain checkin out all da eye candy,lol...then wal-mart...i managed to get all muh purple accessories dat i felt i needed...n our main purpose was to take timmy so he could spend his lil giftcard so hubby takes timmy n chris n i have cakie n alex...we're walkin thru, i grabbed muh hair color (yes da dark one, i guess i'm keepin it )..n cakie grabs me by da neck n hugs me really tight n says "i'm sorry"...i shoot alex a wtf look,lol..n he laffs..."why ya sorry katie?"..."cuz yer cute"...wut a lil weirdo, lol...alex n i were crackin up n cakie was too...then i hear..."there they are!!..."...i turn around n see chris, n hubby..n timmy..WEARIN A BLACK COWBOY HAT!!..LOL...i'm like..."omg did he want dat?"..."yeah against muh better judgement"...."DATS MUH BOY!!!...he's a true TIM!!"....movie star says.."yeah n mom forcefeedin it has no bearing right?"..."furk u"...LOL...don't listen to him,lol......then on da way home we're listenin to country (of course,lol) n boot scootin boogie comes on..ok now 1 thing ya don't kno bout da movie star iz dat he will furk up n screw wiff da words of EVERY country song, lol..he knows it bugs me,lol...so we're listenin, he's drivin n starts singin..."cataracts..blackjack..colonosopies n chokin on hot dogs".."hey its a song about yer aunts picnics".....he's so right tho, lmao...such a furker, but a damn good laugh..lol...."could ya imagine if she was chokin on chicken?.."...he's dyin n i'm like.."yeah like chokin on a weiner is any better?"...we're dyin n the kids are jus lookin at us like..huh?...lol....


sunday, while da movie star went to get anotha truck 2 sell ..mom stopped by after church to pee.....we were bs'in bout how things are at home..n i asked iffen da fruit had gotten a job yet..she proceeds to tell me he has been out applying to a few places, one being for a security position...A WHAT?...even mom had da gall ta say.."do u really think you'll be hired?"..LMAO..i mean WTF...oohh movie star got quite a tickle outta dat one..then she left to go home n do laundry er' some shit..she really wanted to see the dress..."ya really hit the mark on yer hair color"..woohoo i'm thinkin it's gonna look good,lol...all of a sudden muh next door neighbor comes ova n walks in wiff da movie star n they're carryin power tools....the air conditioner sittin on da backporch in da box had been festerin fer weeks...finally got da best of him, it was goin in... but in muh wall here by da pc?...it was quickly brought to hubbys attention dat was a bad plan, n new plans were made, god bless muh neighbor!!!, LOL...no snowsuits in june...chris' lil oompa loompa lookin buddy devin came over to swim wiff his mom..after bout an hour of complainin they got to go in..i sat COVERED, lol...not in as much pain on da glider n was towel wench...afta they left...it was back to air conditioner work..alex, timmy n cakie stayed out in da backyard fer a lil bit...i look out, as hubby was standin right there.." what the hell ya diggin a hole there for???"...alex says..."we're diggin to china"..."oh hell no u aren't"...movie star looks up from his project n yells at em to stop,lol...then phone rings..."darlene?"..."yeah?"..."mom called t'js parents n said you want us to stop by when we pick the baby up?"..."she said wut?..."...LOL..."moms delusional...but we'll be here iffen ya want"..."ok"...LOL...muh moms bad, lol...she jus wants to se wut muh motherlesbianinlaw got da baby, i'm not dumb, LOL..i cleaned up, n after da movie star played around wiff da freezer/ i mean air conditioner..(i'll be stayin outta dat room i tell ya, LOL)...lisas truck pulls up...kids are all screamin.."mango"......well lemme tell ya....lol...looks like da klink isa purty good diet plan, lmao!!!..he lost weight..n lisa made him shave..i had to admit, he didn't look dat bad,lol..still da same ole goofy attitude but kinda mellow too,lol...he held da baby mostly, i didn't grab him, figure i'll jus wait...lol..lisa n i chatted a lil bout muh aunts anniversary party...25 years ago lil coopy wuz da flowergirl..it's da same day as da wedding n i hated not bein able ta go..sooooo it's a secret but we're going to dat too....LOL..don't ask, i'm not sure how being in 2 places at once will work fer me,lol..mango says he hears..dat da whole police force will be there.....i'll remain calm,lol...lisa n mango kno we're goin, i said to her.."jeff gonna be there?....(jeffs da ex dat i left fer da movie star...n really good friend of muh uncle)..."they wouldn't invite him, it's too awkward".."umm lisa?...I'M not supposed ta be there"..LOL..."oops" she says,lol..stay tuned..it'll be interesting...we still are keepin it secret that we'll be there...then they left...wiffout da present ..yes WIFFOUT it ...n like grand central station dat muh house iz on da weekend...in walks hubbys friend rich...givin da hubby money fer seatbelts fer da batmobile...they put em in da car then hubby came in n we put da kids ta bed then he n rich put up blinds in da "meat locker"...LOL...muh new term fer da back porch...afta rich left..i needed anotha coat of lotion...well got dat n a lil more.....actually got da lotion while ...ok ok u get da point,lol...sunburn won't stop me, lol no pain no gain,lol..i'm all normal again feelin too...n bronzed quite nicely..i'll go back out by wednesday fer final sessions..

i've volunteered to go back into spawn class fer da next 2 tuesdays, why?..cuz imma asshole,lol...jus fer sumfin else to do i spose'..lol...the week picks up friday wiff da rehearsal n rehearsal dinner..(i'll get to check out da guy i'm paired wiff )...only prollem is i have no effin clue where da furk i'm goin, lol..a mapquest map n away i go i spose,lol...i'll leave da movie star a shoppin list n i think dannys watchin da brats while he goes...then i gotta come home n wash muh hair cuz i wuz told i can't wash it saturday mornin ...saturday mornin i have da pedicure, then da hair appt...then home to change n be at her moms by 12:30..weddings at 2:30..reception at 4 (bein dat i don't literally "break a leg")...at bout 7-7:30 we'll exit to go to muh aunt n uncles anniversary party..full freakin get up i'll be in, lmao...then we can make it home fer bout 10-11 ish...i prolly won't be online tho...i don't intend on drinkin much iffen anything but i'll be tired n i'll hafta make a pasta salad...lol..."WHY? at 11 p.m ya ask?"...cuz we have a furkin picnic at da same aunt n uncles on sunday n she volunteered me to do it...i spose i could do it sunday mornin couldn't i?..geez glad i thought of dat,lol..i still prolly won't get online tho, so da coopy will be a purty scarce commodity from fri-sunday night...next weeks coopy mail will prolly break da records i'm thinkin...lol...then next week is chris graduation so i'll wait to send it til wed. nite possibly..gawd summer vacation..i'm cringing now,lol..no really..i am, lol...man i'm tired jus thinkin bout this weekend, lol..wish me luck, n jus don't tell me ta "break a leg"..cuz bein me, i prolly will, lmao i'm such a clumsy shit, lol...ok off to get fric n frac from da bus..see ya's in 2 n stuff...muahhhss n ass gropes...some boob gropes...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh n fer whoever is sayin i'm not goin in october, ummm I neva said i wuzn't,lol...

coopy

i dread typin it but ya'll enjoy muh hand cramps..so...ENJOY!..LOL

ok well this week wasn't as exciting as last but hey, lol...dats muh life...lol...

wednesday night mom calls n decides she needs this "thing" she bought assembled n being dat dad has no patience it is of the utmost importance dat we come up thursday night so da movie star can assemble it (god forbid the box gets wet in the rain )..so i jus say yes...being dat da international bank of dad is so generous..what can da movie star do but say uhhuh n head up there to meet us after a long day of work,lol...when da movie star got home he was less than elated about this turn of events but agreed we hadda...i was k wiff it cuz i got outta cookin n cleanin after da meal,lol..woohoo me,lol...at bout 4 thursday(after franticly tryin to squeeze in homework, next days clothes n lunch money fer da older boys n muh general hospital ) we loaded up da sweet pickles van n headed north,lol..here i am drivin n i realize i left muh cell phone n wallet at home...prayin i don't get pulled ova..so i press on,lol...da rebel i am..n i come upon a stop light...in front of me facin da opposite way theres a cop.....he's on da cell phone.....k peeps up here dats like illegal n a $250 fine.....n he's jus blabbin away..so what do i do?..i drive past him n lay on da horn,lol...got nuffin from it jus a smirk on muh face,lol..i made it to mom n dads n dad greets us at da door...the kids all go in, i'm last...n he looks at me n smirks (dat same smirk i get when i'm ready to say some smartass comment,lol)....n he goes.."what the hell color is dat?"... "thx fer da support dad"...n i just laffed....i'm honestly not sure bout it yet muhself...i like it but i don't like it.....stay tuned it'll morph again soon i'm sure...LOL...ok ok..so inside i snatch up "sir grunts alot"..lmao...dats muh lil pet name fer da baby,lol...he's doin real good..he's so sweet, n shhhhh...he looks like christopher,lol......movie star showed up after work, changed outta his deisel fume wardrobe then got right to assemblin the "thing"...ok the "thing" was an 8 foot by 8 foot canopy with a swing arm, but gigantic,lol...np he threw it together as dad cooked n then we got to sit down to eat...LOL...(is it ever dat easy?)...nahhh u kno betta,lol...i hadda give up "sir grunts alot" to lisa to get the 4 kiddies their dinner..then we sat down...dinner was steak n potatoes wiff corn on da cob..so that bein said muh kids basically had corn, lol..wiff the exceptions of cakie n chris who eat anything,lol...so the 4 kids are eatin in da kitchen n then theres, lisa, dad, mom, me, gravy gram (opal still needs to forward dat edition cuz you'd roll)..n da movie star...we're eatin n then all of a sudden timmys next to me n da movie star lookin at me sayin.."whts up bebe?"...n smirkin (same smirk),lol...we laff but it jus egged him on more...he wasn't doin dinner he decides to go around da adult table annoyin da furk outta everyone,lol...then he goes into the kitchen n gets in alexs' face..alex is eatin his corn on da cob n usin it in a side to side pointin motion says to timmy.."follow the corn>>>>that way"...lisa bout choked wiff laffter,lol..she's like "omg thats so darlene"..LOL...ok ok so imma bad influence,lol..we didn't stay long so they're weren't too many stories outta dat dinner but i'm sure more dinners are comin, they need da patio set put out n da wooden swing put up so we'll be invited fer "dinner" some sunday soon i'm imaginin,lol...all in all jus seemed like alotta stress fer a 3 hour visit being as we hadda come home in time fer school bedtime...so i'm drivin da sweet pickles van home loaded wiff whiney kids who wanted to ride in "daddys truck"...n he's followin me home...we get home n he's like "jesus i hadda stay wayyy back from ya"...i'm like "why? "..n he goes.."cuz every damn woman ya went past ya slowed down..."...LOL...sad but true, gawd i'm as bad as a guy ...

friday night i wanted to go out to dinner but i don't always get wut i want,lol...motherlesbianinlaw was a lil late so i scratched dat idea not wantin to tie her up all night keepin her from "casey"...LOL..she comes in with a bag fer "sir grunts alot", so i call up da house, mom answers n i tell her bout da gift.."oh thats nice..lisas feedin the baby"...then.."she has some pretty big news, but i'll let her tell ya".....but mom being mom cannot hold anything fer longer than 2 seconds before it begins to fester,lol.."t.j. (aka..convict fruit boy..aka "sir grunts alots'" dad)..is gettin out monday"... ughhhh...well there goes me babysittin ...i have very mixed feelings here n i guess dats understandle but still i gotta say.."FURK"...ok i feel better...i guess its a good thing, then again i'm not livin with him...i've heard he's a "natural" with the baby...jus hope he doesn't plan on sellin him ..sry dat was mean but grrrr...i have muh eyes on dat one .......ok ok anywho...we go grocery shoppin n i'm like sayin i need all these spices n kitchen gadgets..so movie star suggests goin ova to da dollar store.."good idea...glad i thought of it" was muh reply, LOL..i'm such a shit...so we shoot across da street n go in..passin mr habib on da way...they creep me out,lol..i swear one day i'll run into an indian i've pissed off online..furkers...i grab muh spices, he grabs da kitchen gadgets n he's ready but i'm like impulse buyin..lol..furkin grocery store didn't have muh lays dill pickle chips those bastards...so i see at da dollar store that theres this no name brand of dill pickle chips, i grab em..da movie star shoots me this look of..omg are u a retard?..LOL..hey they're dill pickle they gotta be good, lol..so we check outta there n i'm still grabbin stuff, lol...he's like "geez woman you can stop anytime now"..i grabbed a pen wiff da statue of liberty on top n i'm like.."this is all timmy...k i'm done"..it's true tho...muh son timmy is infatuated wiff da statue of liberty..thinkin it's eva since we watched ghostbusters 2 ..he's muh son..mine..he ain't sposed' to be right,lol...hey he appreciated it tho...

weekend was pretty much slow goin n relaxin...well as slow goin as grand central station can be..hubbys friends in n out, their kids, mine,lol..saturday they left kinda early...the batmobile was done so his buddy rich took it..yayyyyy right?...well lemme tell ya...movie star says to me after work friday.."i have good news n bad news"...."batmobile is done n gone.."..."but peters car is comin up sunday for work, dannys comin up n puttin the jeep on the front lawn n his dads bringin his car up next to put up for sale on da lawn...oh n i bought another car but i already have 3 buyers for it"...muh facial expression......I CAN'T WIN!!!!...LOL...FURK FURK FURK...ok i vented,lol...alex hadda birthday party saturday n after dat i got some sun...i'm all layin out, i left da movie star in to get the kids to nap..so i'm near sleep stage layin on muh tummy..next thing i know he comes out..no prob prolly gonna clean da pool...i'm relaxin... furkin furker pulled muh bathing suit bottoms down......ok i never moved so quick in muh life...pull em back up then uttered an obscenity or two, lol..furker,lol...was funny tho...summa's jus startin tho... revenge will be sweet ..stay tuned,lol...

sunday...grand central station n garage opened like at 9 am...lol...i didn't even get muh sunday breakfast damnit.......lol...rich n danny showed up first..dannys a riot...i'm cleanin da house n shit n realize i neva marinated da meat fer da kabobs sat. night..so i go out on da porch n tell gary...garys response.."well u can marinate my meat"..danny.."Doh!"..rich laughs..n muh response was.."i did dat last night n da night before..no really?"...LOL...danny says.."n why wasn't I a part of this?.."..LOL...movie star tells me to get to marinatin it now fer later n i turn to walk away...danny goes.."hey jessica alba?...(ok da hair iz dark now so it's open season fer new remarks,lol...)...whats the purpose of a wife?..."..."what?"...i'm jus smirkin cuz i know it's some smartass joke...he says.."to transport sperm from the bedroom to the bathroom"......n as if that wasn't enuff..."why's a bride wear white?"..."why?"..."to match the other appliances".....fer da luv of gawd these are da movie stars friends...LOL...robbie his otha friend gets here..i'm in da kitchen cuttin veggies n he walks in.."what the hell happened to you?"...again i explain da ever changin hair color, LOL..then he assures me it looks better than the blond..ok fine, get out there with the others, lmao..next in walks peter n his lil girl samantha (which timmy believes n says her name is amanda..)...it was kinda rainin off n on so the kids are all inside makin me insane n i was freezin muh ass off...so i'm sittin on da couch watchin storm of da century n peter comes in n sits down..he's not too grease monkey inclined so he'd rather torture me n relax on da chair thinkin he's gonna take ova muh tv n put it on da history channel to bore everyone to tears..lol..come to find out he likes dat movie so we're watchin it..i say..."i'm furkin freezin"...realizin after da fact who was there..lol...he says.."well comere i'll warm you up"...i'm like.." ummm no.."...n he smirks n in true peter fashion says.."well i was just being nice n offerin don't go gettin all bitchy with me, lol"..LOL...he's an ass,lol...sweetheart but a pervy ass,lol..after everyone finally left we ate n then hadda get all the kids ready fer monday...i'm in da bathroom gettin their toothbrushes ready n timmy comes in.."i gotta go pee mom"..ok go...he's takin his lil leak n looks at me n says.."mom..u got a big butt..".. "well gee thx timmy"...he lets out a lil giggle then.."yer welcome mom..looks like grandmas.."......i go out n exclaim to hubby.."ok i USED to like muh son.."...i tell him n cracks up,lol...thank gawd it was their bedtime...lol....

this coopy mail is a slacka mail on account of yesterday being kindergarten field trip day...i was lookin forward to it til da movie star told me he couldn't make it..great it's me alone with chris, tuimmy n cakie in an amusement park..oh n then factor in it was to be bout 91 degrees....it really was hotter than furk...kids rode rides..n lemme tell ya...timmy n cakie are furkin daredevils...no lil cars dat go round' a track fer them...they wanted tilt a whirls n ferris wheels n umbrella things dat go like 100 feet in da air..n of course who hasta go on em?..uhhuh, i was green by da end..but not green enuff to bypass da cotton candy..FURK NO..hell who else pays 7 dollars fer 3 bags of sugar?....i wuz happy tho,lol..made it worthwhile...lol...chris had a great time tho n dats what mattered..then we came home n they all got to go swimmin..anotha hot as furk day today too they're sayin so i'll try actually gettin crisp later on i'm thinkin...i'm also thinkin i need it after da hellatious night i had on this thing last night..no details jus..furk,lol...wiff dat bein said..i'll get scootin, i'm waitin on timmys teacher n she's late as hell, a phone call woulda been nice, sheesh what if i had a bunny visit scheduled?..sheesh...lol..ok ok jus informed by 2 screamin kids that she has decided to show up, so i'm off like da underwear i don't wear,lol..laters taters...

coopy

ok u furkers..wheres da otha surveys?..

don't make me call ya'll out one by furkin one...lol..i get off on those things,lol...ask opal n tang, lol, they kno...i could bust out da ole' 150 question whopper jus fer shitz n gigglez,lol...good job mac, luv those things,lol...

well furk, i'm all exhausticated n shit..been an extremely busy week here...busier now since i jus composed a quarter of this n had to do it ova again.. FURK FURKIN FURKER..ok...

well when i left off lisa was annoyin da shit outta me with her boredom...she called me tuesday from outside CVS n was all excited..."darlene i just bought 4 blue placemats for the kitchen table at moms"...ummm yay lise?...lol, gawd have da baby already,lol...then wednesday bout 3 pm she calls n tells me (gonna get graphic folks..LOL..heads up)...she's "spotting"...apparently i'm the labor authority so being dat authority i made her call dr. gates,lol...the nurse told her she'd prolly go in 24 hours er' so...5pm rolls around...she calls me n asks me bout back labor..the authority i am bs's a bit then hangs up, i have kids to feed...6 pm rolls around..she calls again this time i could hear da voice change...it wasn't miserable bored..it had morphed into miserable pain...i then hadda go to be mommy while da movie star went out to get windows, lol..don't ask, and i put him on standby n told him, it's tonight ...at 7 pm i called da house..gravy gram said they were told to go to da hospital fer her to be checked...bout 10 minutes later muh cell phone rings..woohoo she's in... 4 cm, n we're havin a baby...i call da movie star n he heads back to da ranch..i also called motherlesbianinlaw to see if she had thursday off...she was out gettin an ice cream cone wiff "casey"...she tells me not only is she working but muh backup (the great aunts i had on standby) were outta town fer da day..FURK...i now had til 7 am to be at the hospital then i hadda come home to relieve da movie star..he gets home, i kiss the kids tell em i'll call, grope da hubby n away i went holdin muh purse n a bag wiff muh flannel pants n sneaks in it (wuz wearin 5 inch heels a dress shirt n blue jeans...jus happened dat way,lol)...blarin tim n inchin ova da speed limit i went...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh deep breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

kk so i get to da hospital, grab muh stuff (not dat,lol)...then i find maternity...was pointed to da last room...i walk in, n FURK..da ACM awards are on...i missed da first furkin 20 minutes...toby was singin...mom was sittin in da chair n lisa was on her side...apparently i missed her yellin n cussin before a shot of demerol in her arse...she was chipper again, n grateful to be there...dr. gates wuz on call , he comes in, checks her n says ok you're going home not pregnant..now have the baby in peace..lisa looks at da nurse n says "he's coming back right?"...lol...we watched some of da ACM's then dad came in..we bs'd a bit then in walks da fruits mom, grandmother n sister..ok sis is 14 n a walkin poster child fer ritalin..muh gawd she was wired, pacin da floor, goin in between da kitchen fer coffee refills n lisas room.. geez chick i'm watchin da ACM's...so... DA MAN comes on...omg he was a vision, looked like an angel...because of ritalin chick i couldn't hear the tv cuz da speaker was across da room...but i could see it, muh face was bout 5 inches from the tv, lmao...bout halfway thru da song, mr. habib anesthesia guy comes knockin..nurse tells us we all gotta leave da room til she's got her epidural...i'm starin at da screen...everyone leaves...they're waitin...i say...she has da demerol..gimmie 3 furkin minutes..LMAO..n as soon as he sat back on the stool n waved to da crowd, i left,lol...get between me n tim, oh hell no,lol...bout 20 minutes later we get to go back in..this time on her way back from da kitchen..ritalin girl comes in with..muh cousin todd, he's there cuz his son was born the night before,lol...he's all on a high talkin bout his new lil one n how he was on a first name basis with all the nurses n now they all knew lisa was his cousin,lol...he's a riot, talkin bout how he has to go back n pack up everything..when asked whats everything?...he replies.."sleepin bags, pillows, cameras, duct tape....."...um todd?..duct tape?..."well why not, never know...".....i didn't wanna kno anymore,lol...then he went on to tell us bout his stay in the hospital while she was laborin overnight n sleepin..he took jesus off da wall n dusted him...he said there was about an inch of dust on him......well i said..."dats good fer points at least"...he's too much,lol..then when he left, lisas nurse came in n basicly threathened to throw us all out iffen she couldn't get rest...beotch, but fruits mom n ritalin girl took da hint n left...lol..me mom n dad left...lisa was in n out of sleep n we sat uncomfortably in those hard ass chairs watchin da late shows...4am rolls around...she has pressure..woohoo, but nurse informs her she has alot ahead of her being first baby...grrrr come on kiwi i have 3 hours..lol...ok newsflash...muh sister is MEAN..lol...she got very violent,lol...she couldn't really push cuz she was afraid it'd thro her into an asthma attack so it was takin forever, n she was in pain, n frustrated...it was ugly...she was bitchin at da nurse who was givin it right back, lol..then da screamin n cryin...she was out of control...dad says "lisa you need to calm down"..she screams n i mean screams..."shut up dad you've never given birth before"..he screams back sarcasticly.."neither have u"..LOL...i hadda laff but i felt back fer her...lol...dr. gates came in n she calmed down again...then more pushin..n more yellin, n fightin n screamin...i did muh ice chips duty...then finally mean nurse was replaced by two extremely nice nurses one of which was there when i had cakie...they got lisa into full pretzel mode n after a few pushes i replaced one of the nurses n everyone came in...i saw more stuff dat mornin then i care to admit, lmao...its not pretty but it was amazing, she did real good...he was born at 6:50 am..(dats muh boy)...dr. gates lookes at me n tries handin me da scissors tells me to cut da cord..."nah dats ok dude dats a lil too much fer me"...LOL..he did but now lookin back its one of them things ya regret..lol...next time ...i kissed mom n dad...looked kiwi (anthony joseph er' AJ) ova, said i'd be back at 3 wiff da 4 kids, dr gates looked at me like i was crazy,lol n i was off...got home wiff 5 minutes to spare...told da kids about their cousin, groped da hubby n they left...man i was whooped...some things neva change...lol...

i was way too excited to stay home n damnit i hadn't held him yet,lol...i went n got da boys outta school early n headed to da hospital...mango's crazy aunt mary wuz there......she's a whack,lol...goin on n on bout stuff no one cared to listen to, well cept timmy who went to her only cuz she had a bag of candy,lol...mom was asleep, lisa was in n out...i held AJ n showed him to da kids...dr. gates comes in.."boy when you say you're doing something you're true to your word,lol..theres all 4"...LOL..we stayed about an hour..i was so nervous wiff timmy there, he went to the bathroom like 10 times n each time i held muh breath he didn't pull da call rope that wuz hangin right next to da toilet, gawd imagine like 10 nurses n 5 doctors runnin in on acount of him, sheesh,lol...

grocery night wasn't too thrilling...same ole thang...saturday da movie star was out moving his buddys dad then he came home wiff his friends n they worked on da batmobile...its almost time to leave, lol..yayyyyyyyy...saturday was also motherlesbianinlaws birthday...we got her a lil cake n her n "casey" came ova...we watched da replay of da ACM's, lmao...then they left, i got furked right before tim came on ...was a nice ummm climax, lol...the song, hearing it this time brought tears to muh eyes n i thought about pat...tim has a winner there, that songs gonna go places......

sunday, well i got to lay out,lol...movie star was dead set on gettin the pool up n ready so he did his thing, then alex n chris n tim went in..it wuz furkin 68 degrees..OH HELL NO..i'll go in when its like 80,lol...while layin in da sun i got a brilliant idea..lets go see shrek2 at da drive ins...ok he says...so i'm in da laundry room changin clothes from da washer to da dryer n i got molested..ok ok i didn't, lol..i didn't ask fer it but i sure didn't turn it away, lmao.....we get all ready n head out..kids were crazy but liked it...i thought the first was better but still funny...when we got home it was kids to bed then round 2,lol..i think i made it over here for a bit but i honestly can't remember...what i can remember however was dat right after round 2 muh furkin lower left hand side of muh jaw was throbbin n achin...furkin owww

monday bein da holiday, i made a dessert n a pasta salad...we were headin up to mom n dads..of course so i can get muh hands on da baby...movie star had only seen da pics you guys had...lisa called in da am n asked me iffen i could watch AJ tuesday so she could go wiff fruits mom n grandmother to visit him in da clink..what-everrr i say,lol...more time fer me wiff him,lol...muh damn jaw wuz still throbbin, i took 2 aleve n it seemed to help..knew it was muh wisdom tooth...up at mom n dads they were walkin zombies,gary grabbed him as soon as we got there,lol.. baby had a bad night...he slept much of da day, kids played n OMG..remember how muh mom always furks up phrases n shit?..lmao...i've inheirited it in a BIG way...kk i'm in da kitchen unloadin bags..we had brought lil baby bananas, moms like "oh those are so cute"..yeah mom..gram is right to muh left n i'm leanin on her..."where can ya find those?" she says.."in the erotic fruits section gram" ..i said EROTIC wiff gram there...right away i'm like"erotic, lol, i mean EXOTIC"..grams laffin at me, she says "erotic, that was a good one darlene".. me..gawd i felt like an ass, LOL, gary neva laffed so hard in his life, bastard,lol...alex n chris each got to hold da baby...we ate then as we were leavin alex informs me.."mom we have tuesday off too, 5 day weekend".....muh 4, da baby n me?...yikes...n this toothache ta boot ...when we got home, movie star helped me set up da babys pack n play then he went out wiff his buddy big assed rich to work on da batmobile,lol...yeah we had sex when he came in,lol...

last night wuz a rough night..cakie wuz up at 2 cuz "muh blankits r moomin mommy"...gawd...then chris wuz up at 5 on account of a bad dream...at 5:30 he n alex were hovered ova chris' pokemom gameboy game n i heard em on da monitor, then hobbled upstairs n bitched..i got up at 6:45 to shower n be ready fer lisa to drop AJ off at 7:30.....he wuz real good, i'm jus not used to someone dat small n needy anymore,lol...i may have him friday too, she's goin back to visit da clink then..word now is he has a date for june 16th but he'll get out a cpl weeks later than dat on account of paperwork.....month lost..all i gotta say ...i gotta say too, even wiff all 4 of mine here...muh house was quieter wiff da baby here than it usually is...i wouldn't let timmy drive his cars all ova da kitchen floor,lol...toothache has disappeared but as soon as lisa left today i crashed hard for awhile...even missed muh damn GH...waaa...oh well, tomorrow is anotha day...n school is back,lol...less than a month of half freedom now...bigger waaaaa...

ok this is huge-a-rama so imma gonna end it, grab a quick snack, already had sex sooooo,lol...i'll be back at muh post shortly...jus think folks...baby is here, now if i can jus get thru this wedding...which she hasn't brought me da dress yet either still ...lol...it'll be interesting,lol...laterz taterz..

coopy