ok u furkers..wheres da otha surveys?..
don't make me call ya'll out one by furkin one...lol..i get off on those things,lol...ask opal n tang, lol, they kno...i could bust out da ole' 150 question whopper jus fer shitz n gigglez,lol...good job mac, luv those things,lol...
well furk, i'm all exhausticated n shit..been an extremely busy week here...busier now since i jus composed a quarter of this n had to do it ova again.. FURK FURKIN FURKER..ok...
well when i left off lisa was annoyin da shit outta me with her boredom...she called me tuesday from outside CVS n was all excited..."darlene i just bought 4 blue placemats for the kitchen table at moms"...ummm yay lise?...lol, gawd have da baby already,lol...then wednesday bout 3 pm she calls n tells me (gonna get graphic folks..LOL..heads up)...she's "spotting"...apparently i'm the labor authority so being dat authority i made her call dr. gates,lol...the nurse told her she'd prolly go in 24 hours er' so...5pm rolls around...she calls me n asks me bout back labor..the authority i am bs's a bit then hangs up, i have kids to feed...6 pm rolls around..she calls again this time i could hear da voice change...it wasn't miserable bored..it had morphed into miserable pain...i then hadda go to be mommy while da movie star went out to get windows, lol..don't ask, and i put him on standby n told him, it's tonight ...at 7 pm i called da house..gravy gram said they were told to go to da hospital fer her to be checked...bout 10 minutes later muh cell phone rings..woohoo she's in... 4 cm, n we're havin a baby...i call da movie star n he heads back to da ranch..i also called motherlesbianinlaw to see if she had thursday off...she was out gettin an ice cream cone wiff "casey"...she tells me not only is she working but muh backup (the great aunts i had on standby) were outta town fer da day..FURK...i now had til 7 am to be at the hospital then i hadda come home to relieve da movie star..he gets home, i kiss the kids tell em i'll call, grope da hubby n away i went holdin muh purse n a bag wiff muh flannel pants n sneaks in it (wuz wearin 5 inch heels a dress shirt n blue jeans...jus happened dat way,lol)...blarin tim n inchin ova da speed limit i went...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh deep breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............
kk so i get to da hospital, grab muh stuff (not dat,lol)...then i find maternity...was pointed to da last room...i walk in, n FURK..da ACM awards are on...i missed da first furkin 20 minutes...toby was singin...mom was sittin in da chair n lisa was on her side...apparently i missed her yellin n cussin before a shot of demerol in her arse...she was chipper again, n grateful to be there...dr. gates wuz on call , he comes in, checks her n says ok you're going home not pregnant..now have the baby in peace..lisa looks at da nurse n says "he's coming back right?"...lol...we watched some of da ACM's then dad came in..we bs'd a bit then in walks da fruits mom, grandmother n sister..ok sis is 14 n a walkin poster child fer ritalin..muh gawd she was wired, pacin da floor, goin in between da kitchen fer coffee refills n lisas room.. geez chick i'm watchin da ACM's...so... DA MAN comes on...omg he was a vision, looked like an angel...because of ritalin chick i couldn't hear the tv cuz da speaker was across da room...but i could see it, muh face was bout 5 inches from the tv, lmao...bout halfway thru da song, mr. habib anesthesia guy comes knockin..nurse tells us we all gotta leave da room til she's got her epidural...i'm starin at da screen...everyone leaves...they're waitin...i say...she has da demerol..gimmie 3 furkin minutes..LMAO..n as soon as he sat back on the stool n waved to da crowd, i left,lol...get between me n tim, oh hell no,lol...bout 20 minutes later we get to go back in..this time on her way back from da kitchen..ritalin girl comes in with..muh cousin todd, he's there cuz his son was born the night before,lol...he's all on a high talkin bout his new lil one n how he was on a first name basis with all the nurses n now they all knew lisa was his cousin,lol...he's a riot, talkin bout how he has to go back n pack up everything..when asked whats everything?...he replies.."sleepin bags, pillows, cameras, duct tape....."...um todd?..duct tape?..."well why not, never know...".....i didn't wanna kno anymore,lol...then he went on to tell us bout his stay in the hospital while she was laborin overnight n sleepin..he took jesus off da wall n dusted him...he said there was about an inch of dust on him......well i said..."dats good fer points at least"...he's too much,lol..then when he left, lisas nurse came in n basicly threathened to throw us all out iffen she couldn't get rest...beotch, but fruits mom n ritalin girl took da hint n left...lol..me mom n dad left...lisa was in n out of sleep n we sat uncomfortably in those hard ass chairs watchin da late shows...4am rolls around...she has pressure..woohoo, but nurse informs her she has alot ahead of her being first baby...grrrr come on kiwi i have 3 hours..lol...ok newsflash...muh sister is MEAN..lol...she got very violent,lol...she couldn't really push cuz she was afraid it'd thro her into an asthma attack so it was takin forever, n she was in pain, n frustrated...it was ugly...she was bitchin at da nurse who was givin it right back, lol..then da screamin n cryin...she was out of control...dad says "lisa you need to calm down"..she screams n i mean screams..."shut up dad you've never given birth before"..he screams back sarcasticly.."neither have u"..LOL...i hadda laff but i felt back fer her...lol...dr. gates came in n she calmed down again...then more pushin..n more yellin, n fightin n screamin...i did muh ice chips duty...then finally mean nurse was replaced by two extremely nice nurses one of which was there when i had cakie...they got lisa into full pretzel mode n after a few pushes i replaced one of the nurses n everyone came in...i saw more stuff dat mornin then i care to admit, lmao...its not pretty but it was amazing, she did real good...he was born at 6:50 am..(dats muh boy)...dr. gates lookes at me n tries handin me da scissors tells me to cut da cord..."nah dats ok dude dats a lil too much fer me"...LOL..he did but now lookin back its one of them things ya regret..lol...next time ...i kissed mom n dad...looked kiwi (anthony joseph er' AJ) ova, said i'd be back at 3 wiff da 4 kids, dr gates looked at me like i was crazy,lol n i was off...got home wiff 5 minutes to spare...told da kids about their cousin, groped da hubby n they left...man i was whooped...some things neva change...lol...
i was way too excited to stay home n damnit i hadn't held him yet,lol...i went n got da boys outta school early n headed to da hospital...mango's crazy aunt mary wuz there......she's a whack,lol...goin on n on bout stuff no one cared to listen to, well cept timmy who went to her only cuz she had a bag of candy,lol...mom was asleep, lisa was in n out...i held AJ n showed him to da kids...dr. gates comes in.."boy when you say you're doing something you're true to your word,lol..theres all 4"...LOL..we stayed about an hour..i was so nervous wiff timmy there, he went to the bathroom like 10 times n each time i held muh breath he didn't pull da call rope that wuz hangin right next to da toilet, gawd imagine like 10 nurses n 5 doctors runnin in on acount of him, sheesh,lol...
grocery night wasn't too thrilling...same ole thang...saturday da movie star was out moving his buddys dad then he came home wiff his friends n they worked on da batmobile...its almost time to leave, lol..yayyyyyyyy...saturday was also motherlesbianinlaws birthday...we got her a lil cake n her n "casey" came ova...we watched da replay of da ACM's, lmao...then they left, i got furked right before tim came on ...was a nice ummm climax, lol...the song, hearing it this time brought tears to muh eyes n i thought about pat...tim has a winner there, that songs gonna go places......
sunday, well i got to lay out,lol...movie star was dead set on gettin the pool up n ready so he did his thing, then alex n chris n tim went in..it wuz furkin 68 degrees..OH HELL NO..i'll go in when its like 80,lol...while layin in da sun i got a brilliant idea..lets go see shrek2 at da drive ins...ok he says...so i'm in da laundry room changin clothes from da washer to da dryer n i got molested..ok ok i didn't, lol..i didn't ask fer it but i sure didn't turn it away, lmao.....we get all ready n head out..kids were crazy but liked it...i thought the first was better but still funny...when we got home it was kids to bed then round 2,lol..i think i made it over here for a bit but i honestly can't remember...what i can remember however was dat right after round 2 muh furkin lower left hand side of muh jaw was throbbin n achin...furkin owww
monday bein da holiday, i made a dessert n a pasta salad...we were headin up to mom n dads..of course so i can get muh hands on da baby...movie star had only seen da pics you guys had...lisa called in da am n asked me iffen i could watch AJ tuesday so she could go wiff fruits mom n grandmother to visit him in da clink..what-everrr i say,lol...more time fer me wiff him,lol...muh damn jaw wuz still throbbin, i took 2 aleve n it seemed to help..knew it was muh wisdom tooth...up at mom n dads they were walkin zombies,gary grabbed him as soon as we got there,lol.. baby had a bad night...he slept much of da day, kids played n OMG..remember how muh mom always furks up phrases n shit?..lmao...i've inheirited it in a BIG way...kk i'm in da kitchen unloadin bags..we had brought lil baby bananas, moms like "oh those are so cute"..yeah mom..gram is right to muh left n i'm leanin on her..."where can ya find those?" she says.."in the erotic fruits section gram" ..i said EROTIC wiff gram there...right away i'm like"erotic, lol, i mean EXOTIC"..grams laffin at me, she says "erotic, that was a good one darlene".. me..gawd i felt like an ass, LOL, gary neva laffed so hard in his life, bastard,lol...alex n chris each got to hold da baby...we ate then as we were leavin alex informs me.."mom we have tuesday off too, 5 day weekend".....muh 4, da baby n me?...yikes...n this toothache ta boot ...when we got home, movie star helped me set up da babys pack n play then he went out wiff his buddy big assed rich to work on da batmobile,lol...yeah we had sex when he came in,lol...
last night wuz a rough night..cakie wuz up at 2 cuz "muh blankits r moomin mommy"...gawd...then chris wuz up at 5 on account of a bad dream...at 5:30 he n alex were hovered ova chris' pokemom gameboy game n i heard em on da monitor, then hobbled upstairs n bitched..i got up at 6:45 to shower n be ready fer lisa to drop AJ off at 7:30.....he wuz real good, i'm jus not used to someone dat small n needy anymore,lol...i may have him friday too, she's goin back to visit da clink then..word now is he has a date for june 16th but he'll get out a cpl weeks later than dat on account of paperwork.....month lost..all i gotta say ...i gotta say too, even wiff all 4 of mine here...muh house was quieter wiff da baby here than it usually is...i wouldn't let timmy drive his cars all ova da kitchen floor,lol...toothache has disappeared but as soon as lisa left today i crashed hard for awhile...even missed muh damn GH...waaa...oh well, tomorrow is anotha day...n school is back,lol...less than a month of half freedom now...bigger waaaaa...
ok this is huge-a-rama so imma gonna end it, grab a quick snack, already had sex sooooo,lol...i'll be back at muh post shortly...jus think folks...baby is here, now if i can jus get thru this wedding...which she hasn't brought me da dress yet either still ...lol...it'll be interesting,lol...laterz taterz..
coopy
well furk, i'm all exhausticated n shit..been an extremely busy week here...busier now since i jus composed a quarter of this n had to do it ova again.. FURK FURKIN FURKER..ok...
well when i left off lisa was annoyin da shit outta me with her boredom...she called me tuesday from outside CVS n was all excited..."darlene i just bought 4 blue placemats for the kitchen table at moms"...ummm yay lise?...lol, gawd have da baby already,lol...then wednesday bout 3 pm she calls n tells me (gonna get graphic folks..LOL..heads up)...she's "spotting"...apparently i'm the labor authority so being dat authority i made her call dr. gates,lol...the nurse told her she'd prolly go in 24 hours er' so...5pm rolls around...she calls me n asks me bout back labor..the authority i am bs's a bit then hangs up, i have kids to feed...6 pm rolls around..she calls again this time i could hear da voice change...it wasn't miserable bored..it had morphed into miserable pain...i then hadda go to be mommy while da movie star went out to get windows, lol..don't ask, and i put him on standby n told him, it's tonight ...at 7 pm i called da house..gravy gram said they were told to go to da hospital fer her to be checked...bout 10 minutes later muh cell phone rings..woohoo she's in... 4 cm, n we're havin a baby...i call da movie star n he heads back to da ranch..i also called motherlesbianinlaw to see if she had thursday off...she was out gettin an ice cream cone wiff "casey"...she tells me not only is she working but muh backup (the great aunts i had on standby) were outta town fer da day..FURK...i now had til 7 am to be at the hospital then i hadda come home to relieve da movie star..he gets home, i kiss the kids tell em i'll call, grope da hubby n away i went holdin muh purse n a bag wiff muh flannel pants n sneaks in it (wuz wearin 5 inch heels a dress shirt n blue jeans...jus happened dat way,lol)...blarin tim n inchin ova da speed limit i went...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh deep breathhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............
kk so i get to da hospital, grab muh stuff (not dat,lol)...then i find maternity...was pointed to da last room...i walk in, n FURK..da ACM awards are on...i missed da first furkin 20 minutes...toby was singin...mom was sittin in da chair n lisa was on her side...apparently i missed her yellin n cussin before a shot of demerol in her arse...she was chipper again, n grateful to be there...dr. gates wuz on call , he comes in, checks her n says ok you're going home not pregnant..now have the baby in peace..lisa looks at da nurse n says "he's coming back right?"...lol...we watched some of da ACM's then dad came in..we bs'd a bit then in walks da fruits mom, grandmother n sister..ok sis is 14 n a walkin poster child fer ritalin..muh gawd she was wired, pacin da floor, goin in between da kitchen fer coffee refills n lisas room.. geez chick i'm watchin da ACM's...so... DA MAN comes on...omg he was a vision, looked like an angel...because of ritalin chick i couldn't hear the tv cuz da speaker was across da room...but i could see it, muh face was bout 5 inches from the tv, lmao...bout halfway thru da song, mr. habib anesthesia guy comes knockin..nurse tells us we all gotta leave da room til she's got her epidural...i'm starin at da screen...everyone leaves...they're waitin...i say...she has da demerol..gimmie 3 furkin minutes..LMAO..n as soon as he sat back on the stool n waved to da crowd, i left,lol...get between me n tim, oh hell no,lol...bout 20 minutes later we get to go back in..this time on her way back from da kitchen..ritalin girl comes in with..muh cousin todd, he's there cuz his son was born the night before,lol...he's all on a high talkin bout his new lil one n how he was on a first name basis with all the nurses n now they all knew lisa was his cousin,lol...he's a riot, talkin bout how he has to go back n pack up everything..when asked whats everything?...he replies.."sleepin bags, pillows, cameras, duct tape....."...um todd?..duct tape?..."well why not, never know...".....i didn't wanna kno anymore,lol...then he went on to tell us bout his stay in the hospital while she was laborin overnight n sleepin..he took jesus off da wall n dusted him...he said there was about an inch of dust on him......well i said..."dats good fer points at least"...he's too much,lol..then when he left, lisas nurse came in n basicly threathened to throw us all out iffen she couldn't get rest...beotch, but fruits mom n ritalin girl took da hint n left...lol..me mom n dad left...lisa was in n out of sleep n we sat uncomfortably in those hard ass chairs watchin da late shows...4am rolls around...she has pressure..woohoo, but nurse informs her she has alot ahead of her being first baby...grrrr come on kiwi i have 3 hours..lol...ok newsflash...muh sister is MEAN..lol...she got very violent,lol...she couldn't really push cuz she was afraid it'd thro her into an asthma attack so it was takin forever, n she was in pain, n frustrated...it was ugly...she was bitchin at da nurse who was givin it right back, lol..then da screamin n cryin...she was out of control...dad says "lisa you need to calm down"..she screams n i mean screams..."shut up dad you've never given birth before"..he screams back sarcasticly.."neither have u"..LOL...i hadda laff but i felt back fer her...lol...dr. gates came in n she calmed down again...then more pushin..n more yellin, n fightin n screamin...i did muh ice chips duty...then finally mean nurse was replaced by two extremely nice nurses one of which was there when i had cakie...they got lisa into full pretzel mode n after a few pushes i replaced one of the nurses n everyone came in...i saw more stuff dat mornin then i care to admit, lmao...its not pretty but it was amazing, she did real good...he was born at 6:50 am..(dats muh boy)...dr. gates lookes at me n tries handin me da scissors tells me to cut da cord..."nah dats ok dude dats a lil too much fer me"...LOL..he did but now lookin back its one of them things ya regret..lol...next time ...i kissed mom n dad...looked kiwi (anthony joseph er' AJ) ova, said i'd be back at 3 wiff da 4 kids, dr gates looked at me like i was crazy,lol n i was off...got home wiff 5 minutes to spare...told da kids about their cousin, groped da hubby n they left...man i was whooped...some things neva change...lol...
i was way too excited to stay home n damnit i hadn't held him yet,lol...i went n got da boys outta school early n headed to da hospital...mango's crazy aunt mary wuz there......she's a whack,lol...goin on n on bout stuff no one cared to listen to, well cept timmy who went to her only cuz she had a bag of candy,lol...mom was asleep, lisa was in n out...i held AJ n showed him to da kids...dr. gates comes in.."boy when you say you're doing something you're true to your word,lol..theres all 4"...LOL..we stayed about an hour..i was so nervous wiff timmy there, he went to the bathroom like 10 times n each time i held muh breath he didn't pull da call rope that wuz hangin right next to da toilet, gawd imagine like 10 nurses n 5 doctors runnin in on acount of him, sheesh,lol...
grocery night wasn't too thrilling...same ole thang...saturday da movie star was out moving his buddys dad then he came home wiff his friends n they worked on da batmobile...its almost time to leave, lol..yayyyyyyyy...saturday was also motherlesbianinlaws birthday...we got her a lil cake n her n "casey" came ova...we watched da replay of da ACM's, lmao...then they left, i got furked right before tim came on ...was a nice ummm climax, lol...the song, hearing it this time brought tears to muh eyes n i thought about pat...tim has a winner there, that songs gonna go places......
sunday, well i got to lay out,lol...movie star was dead set on gettin the pool up n ready so he did his thing, then alex n chris n tim went in..it wuz furkin 68 degrees..OH HELL NO..i'll go in when its like 80,lol...while layin in da sun i got a brilliant idea..lets go see shrek2 at da drive ins...ok he says...so i'm in da laundry room changin clothes from da washer to da dryer n i got molested..ok ok i didn't, lol..i didn't ask fer it but i sure didn't turn it away, lmao.....we get all ready n head out..kids were crazy but liked it...i thought the first was better but still funny...when we got home it was kids to bed then round 2,lol..i think i made it over here for a bit but i honestly can't remember...what i can remember however was dat right after round 2 muh furkin lower left hand side of muh jaw was throbbin n achin...furkin owww
monday bein da holiday, i made a dessert n a pasta salad...we were headin up to mom n dads..of course so i can get muh hands on da baby...movie star had only seen da pics you guys had...lisa called in da am n asked me iffen i could watch AJ tuesday so she could go wiff fruits mom n grandmother to visit him in da clink..what-everrr i say,lol...more time fer me wiff him,lol...muh damn jaw wuz still throbbin, i took 2 aleve n it seemed to help..knew it was muh wisdom tooth...up at mom n dads they were walkin zombies,gary grabbed him as soon as we got there,lol.. baby had a bad night...he slept much of da day, kids played n OMG..remember how muh mom always furks up phrases n shit?..lmao...i've inheirited it in a BIG way...kk i'm in da kitchen unloadin bags..we had brought lil baby bananas, moms like "oh those are so cute"..yeah mom..gram is right to muh left n i'm leanin on her..."where can ya find those?" she says.."in the erotic fruits section gram" ..i said EROTIC wiff gram there...right away i'm like"erotic, lol, i mean EXOTIC"..grams laffin at me, she says "erotic, that was a good one darlene".. me..gawd i felt like an ass, LOL, gary neva laffed so hard in his life, bastard,lol...alex n chris each got to hold da baby...we ate then as we were leavin alex informs me.."mom we have tuesday off too, 5 day weekend".....muh 4, da baby n me?...yikes...n this toothache ta boot ...when we got home, movie star helped me set up da babys pack n play then he went out wiff his buddy big assed rich to work on da batmobile,lol...yeah we had sex when he came in,lol...
last night wuz a rough night..cakie wuz up at 2 cuz "muh blankits r moomin mommy"...gawd...then chris wuz up at 5 on account of a bad dream...at 5:30 he n alex were hovered ova chris' pokemom gameboy game n i heard em on da monitor, then hobbled upstairs n bitched..i got up at 6:45 to shower n be ready fer lisa to drop AJ off at 7:30.....he wuz real good, i'm jus not used to someone dat small n needy anymore,lol...i may have him friday too, she's goin back to visit da clink then..word now is he has a date for june 16th but he'll get out a cpl weeks later than dat on account of paperwork.....month lost..all i gotta say ...i gotta say too, even wiff all 4 of mine here...muh house was quieter wiff da baby here than it usually is...i wouldn't let timmy drive his cars all ova da kitchen floor,lol...toothache has disappeared but as soon as lisa left today i crashed hard for awhile...even missed muh damn GH...waaa...oh well, tomorrow is anotha day...n school is back,lol...less than a month of half freedom now...bigger waaaaa...
ok this is huge-a-rama so imma gonna end it, grab a quick snack, already had sex sooooo,lol...i'll be back at muh post shortly...jus think folks...baby is here, now if i can jus get thru this wedding...which she hasn't brought me da dress yet either still ...lol...it'll be interesting,lol...laterz taterz..
coopy
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