numba 100!!!!!! *tossin confetti all ova*

ok this bein numba 100 i'm sure there's high expectations of hilarity (dat a word?)...i will try muh best...i realize i've been slackin hard, i wuz gonna wait til last thursday to post afta seein dentist furks me up but by thursday i wuz so doped up i didn't even kno muh name soooo i decided i'd put it off...sux but makes fer a longer read, lol..prolly a much longer read unless i start gettin cranky n needa pop anotha loopy pill...

ok i actually have a cheat sheet here cuz i marked some stuff from da previous week down so na na na poo poo...good thing cuz i wouldn't have remembered...it wuz jus a normal week, i wuz jus gettin more n more nervous bout da teeth comin out but tryin to get it outta muh mind...then came friday night...woohoo market nite...gary n i hurried out da door as soon as da motherlesbianinlaw showed up, n bein da last friday fer awhile i could eat freely i wanted food,lol..we tryed applebees but furk all dat waitin..we're drivin n theres this lil fish joint dats always been there but we neva tryed, so i ask him iffen he wanted to go...he's like.."isn't dat a fish store?"..i'm like.."well yeah but its a restaurant too on da otha side"..he crosses like 4 lanes quickly n when i regained muh stomach from muh throat we went in,lol..OMG...cue da twilight zone music..HOLY FURK...ok i'll do muh best to describe this place...its da size of half a macdonalds (maybe)...you walk down a hallway to a counter..above da counter is a board wiff a menu..u have bout 10 seconds to look at 30, 000 things jammed on this menu n order...da chick wiff da tattoos hangin all ova is puttin cups on trays at this counter...we didn't kno wut da furk wuz goin on so we get da seafood platter ...now u go sit...ok lemme rephrase..u try to find a place to sit in this lil teeny tiny room where theres tables all jammed together n everyone in there is over sixty years old!!...there are some waitresses...one of which gary caught n said.."how do we do this?"...she took his ticket n said "u're number 162...when she calls your number you go to the middle, pay then go up n get yer tray".....we see an open table, n like da only 2 people clueless n stickin out like a sore thumb we sit down...we are completely in awe...gary is comparin da place to da krusty krab n pointin out squidward n i swear ta gawd when da cook came out he looked like mr krabs, lmao...then i notice anotha "station"...fer cocktail sauce n stuff...i say.."well theres da sauces"...gary says.."well we shouldn't get up cuz we'll lose da table n we can't afford dat wut kind of sauce ya want cocktail or tartar?"...n i shoot him a look n start crackin up..."how da fuck should i kno, i don't even kno wut seafood is on da seafood platter"...LMAO...we're jus dyin,lol...then tattoo calls our number n he gets da food...i'm jus lookin at all these people n hearin conversations i jus wanna block from muh memory foreva, lmao..gary comes back n i'm like.."hey, theres kareoke at da american legion after this..wanna go?.."LOL..it wuz unbeievable, the whole experience wuz weird...i think stephen king should eat there..great material fer a wacky book there i tell ya...the food wuz quite good tho, fried but good...i'm more of a broiled kinda chick...afta dat incredibly strange expierience we headed off to do our shoppin n we got cakie a princess barbie costume n da fixins fer makin alex a mummy..yayyyyy halloween iz now complete!!!...when we got home, da motherlesbianinlaw put cakies costume on her while we put da groceries away..n omg she looks beautiful..its almost too pretty of a costume...da motherlesbianinlaw commented it should be her thanksgivin n christmas dress too..dunno bout dat one grasshoppper,LOL....when she left we got everything ready to leave early fer chris' game dat wuz far away n not to mention gonna be in da pourin leftova hurricane rain..omg it wuz pourin...i jus hoped they'd cancel..

at 7:45, gary called da coach...it wuz comin down really hard n no end in sight..games still on...GRRRRRR...so we dress chris in thermals n a turtleneck then his uniform...i'm all bundled up,lol..we have no chairs n we're totin umbrellas, poor chris i'm thinkin...grrr..we dropped da kids off at mom n dads n headed up north 45 minutes...omg it wuz pourin, n i'm not talkin lil soft warm rain, it wuz big fat hard freezin cold rain..we go out n there aren't puddles, theres rivers everywhere...sooooo muddy....these poor kids were drenched jus walkin to da field...i gotta say fer those conditions there wuz alot of parental support tho...we're all on da sideline n theres these kids...shiverin, water pourin off em playin ball best they could...i wuz so sad fer chris, he wuz soo cold...n he wuz behind in plays so he wuz out in the field more than on da side under da umbrella wiff me...da movie star who knos about as much about football as i kno bout celibacy wuz asked to do "plays" so here's this clueless man walkin round wiff a clipboard under da coachs umbrella cuz his wuz bigger...meanwhile da coach is walkin round da field wiff da movie stars smilie umbrella da kept turnin inside out wiff da wind,lol..it felt like da longest game eva, but they won...i immediately ran to da van n jacked up da heat n got chris his change of clothes ready fer him...when he got in he wuz soaked down thru his underwear...poor kid...when he wuz finally all dry n warm..we set off to retrieve da others...stayed at mom n dads briefly then decided to go home n veg out...

sunday i spent much of da day wiff alotta anxiety ova da teeth so i decided to clean..i cleaned muh bedroom, down to da closet, switched ova da fall clothes n got rid of 3 30 gallon garbage bags of old clothes dat i wuzn't gonna wear eva...lol...mom stopped by afta church n brought her friend alice..ok ya'll picture elton john..dats alice, lmao...she looks jus like elton john...she's always been moms best friend n theres always been question of her sexuality, lol..mom says she isn't a lez but i'll be damned iffen i believe it,lmao...maybe dats why i associate her wiff elton...no...i don't..she does look EXACTLY like elton john, lmao...anywho i hit her up fer da candle fundraiser n all wuz well...mom brought muh avon (needed new lipstick peeps,lol)...then they left afta she went pee (of course)...bout da time they left, hubbys cousin n fiance showed up...ok now this chick is really annoyin...lol...she mostly hangs at her guys side tho so i thought i wuz in da clear,lol...not..she comes in askin me iffen i knew they were gettin married...i think i did but wuzn't sure..so i start askin bout da weddin ..why?..lol...cuz i'mma sucka dats why..lol....sooooooooo this bein on da same side of da family as da "dunkin booths"..n his cousin bein "mr. hockey" (its jus in his mind folks)..they wanna get married in an arena..in da middle of da ice ...in may ...WTF!!!...i'm tellin ya, all this craziness is startin ta make muh sisters gala event to da convict look appealin..gawd...i couldn't wait til they left so i could tell da movie star bout dat one..LOL..he wuz like.."oh my god!!!"..LOL...too funny...rest of da day paled in comparison to da ice rink..well maybe cept fer when his friend rich came ova n afta usin da phone to call home felt inclined to tell me about his wife goin to "have her upper lip waxed"...DO I NEED TO HAVE THIS VISUAL?..LOL..ewwww omg ya jus needa see her ta understand..ick ick ick....lol...

i must also say dat preceding all dat teeth anxiety sunday mornin...could jus be da fact dat we were watchin little shop of horrors during breakfast n well...its not exactly da movie ya should watch prior to any form of dental surgery...gary wuz laffin his ass off all day, n would look at me or call me from two rooms away n say "hey darlene?"..."wut?"...da prick a lick would reply crackin up..."CANDY BAR!!!!!"......ok dats funny,lol...he's such an asshole,lol..

i gotta say da anxiety kept on keepin on..jus seemed everything wuz goin too smoothly, motherlesbianinlaw wuz set to babysit n had timmys schoolday down...gary had da day off n everything in place...sumfin hadda go wrong,lol...tuesday i got everything pretty much down around da house, got everything fer da kids ready fer wed....tuesday night i signed alex n chris up fer basketball...i kno i kno, more torture but i want em to try it all then decide on one next year, gets em away from da damn playstation too, n besides..alex runs like a fairy so da boy needs it,lol...he's gettin chunky too, skeerin me,lol...it'll be good fer em..

wednesday mornin, kids got off to school, i had muh shower n a headache da size of texas from nerves...motherlesbianinlaw got there..she brought coffee fer everyone, me included... WTF..she knew like a gremlin i couldn't eat er' drink afta midnight...GRRRR....dat jus blew holes in cheerios..i finally got dat lets get this da furk ova wiff attitude n we left...they took me right in n told da movie star 45 minutes..muh head wuz poundin...da nurse seemed clueless but she kept complimentin muh calvin klein shirt,lol...go figure..so she says lets start...i get da nitrous first...good chit, i wuz feelin very calm...then anotha nurse came n found a "good vein"..LOL...from there its sketchy..lol...i kno dr. furked me up came in n asked me how i wuz, i said fine...i wuz so fine at dis' point i wuzn't sure if he wuz da dr. or ghandi, n i really didn't care, lmao...he shot sumfin in da iv, n next thing i knew i felt drunk n i wuz done..i didn't see him afta dat point, da nurse gave me gauze..gary wuz holdin me up n i wuz outta there...we stopped ta get muh 3 prescriptions,lol...i wuz so sore but soo not there...i think i waited 30 minutes in da truck, not sure but it wuz awhile,lol...got home n da motherlesbianinlaw meets us at da door, no wait i wuz half outta da truck n she says.."how ya feel darlene?"..ummm i felt like i wanted to chainsaw her up in lil pieces at da sheer stupidity of dat question, lmao...but i think i jus rolled muh eyes...i layed down fer alotta dat day..kids were real good, n gary helped out alot...motherlesbianinlaw took all da kids in da afternoon when da boys got home so dat wuz a big help too, plus they needed haircuts...i attempted to watch a movie n muh gh but i wuz real loopy...got on long nuff ta tell a few people i wuz alive...but headed back to da couch..

by friday i wuz more mobile, but still really outta it...i took timmy to school n back home, did a lil cleanin...dat night we hadda go to da mall to activate our new cell phones...this wuz not welcome news cuz i wuz high as a kite,lol...motherlesbianinlaw offered gary her handicapped parkin sign so i wouldn't hafta walk too far,lol...i don't really remember bein there, da guy at da counter prolly thought i wuz queen space cadet,lmao...i do remember admirin da chick behind da counters boobs, she wuz cute too i think...i think,lol...afta dat we did our usual shoppin, n threw on a christmas layaway, anotha one, lol...this makes 3 now cuz santa is neurotic n thinks everything da kids want will be gone,lol..i must say shoppin while high as a kite is fun,lol...i'm talkin ta muhself all ova,lol...people lookin at me like i'm a friggin nutjob,lol...we did dat as fast as possible n got home...i wuz feelin froggy nuff ta try eatin so i managed to slurp up some lo mein..afta two days of jus 2 puddins n a scrambled egg it wuz a blessin...lol...

saturday mornin wuz chris last "away" game..this time tho it wuz only 20 minutes away...this time, instead of jus gary n i...we had muh mom n dad, lisa n da kiwi, da motherlesbianinlaw n 'friend" casey...n muh aunt n uncle (chris' godparents)..full house, lol...n a beautiful mornin unlike da last saturday...even wiff all da support, they lost, lmao..but alls well, 3 more games all "home"...then footballs ova...he says he wants to play again next year, we'll see...afta da game we loafed around at home, i napped da drugs off...then afta da kids went ta bed, da movie stars friends started showin up...he wuz hostin a card game at da house..i made danny stop by da micky d's drive thru to get me a happy meal, i wanted ta gum da fries n try eatin a burger, lmao..so it's me, gary n danny in da livin room waitin on his otha 2 friends rich n robbie...i'm eatin this burger n makin noises...they started makin fun of me really bad n callin me chewbacca..LOL...dannys makin chewbacca noises n mockin me..ARSE!!!...i gave up halfway thru it...lol...then i took more drugs,lol...by da time the others showed up, robbie works fer a pizza joint so he brought more food...i'm tryin ta eat pieces of a ham n cheese sub...i'm zonin...lol..dannys like.."u ok?"..."ohh yeah i'm fine"...lol...then i sit down while they're playin n i'm eatin some banana chips..LOL..i'm tryin ta convince em they're soft,lol...garys crunchin em so loud..dannys like.."sweetie they aren't soft"..LOL..they didn't hurt me so it wuz all good,lol...the dope finally got da best of me n i went ta bed...i can only imagine wut they were sayin,lol...i didn't care,lol...i can only remember bits n pieces actually,lol...

sunday i ate breakfast!!!...woohooo...very very slowly n kinda sideways but i ate...lol...sunday wuz a good day actually, minimal pain...not much to speak of in da excitement factor tho..watched a christmas story fer da umpteenth time this week...timmy walk round sayin.."no turkey sandwiches, no turkey gravy, no turkey soup, it's gone ALL GONE!!!"...LOL...da kid cracks me up...n his new thing is he'll come sit or lay on da couch wiff me n say.."its jus u n me mom"..lol..too cute..got da stuff ready fer da new school week n rejoiced at bedtime...i wuz promised a hot bath but dat promiser fell asleep on me,lol..i settled fer wife swap, lol...luv dat show...make me feel good bout muhself,lol...i took a pill n went ta bed...this is like 11 pm,lol...

now monday wuz timmys first field trip...goin ta pick apples at da apple orchard...cakie n me signed up ta go too..i did not take anything dat mornin cuz i knew i hadda drive...i wuz high as a kite..why hellifiknow but i wuz..it's like an unreal feeling..i took timmy to school then at 9:30 we all got our cars in line n took off..at da place it wuz like i was walkin but it wuz also like feelin an out of body experience...really weird, i wuz spacey...not on a damn thing yet spacey..i got thru da tour...we picked apples...then da kids ate snack at da picnic tables..cakie felt da need to "go pee"..n i caught timmy before he went ta pee on an apple tree..told him no, n set off toward da 3 port o pottys..halfway to da johns i turn to timmy n he has his thing outta his pants already...omg i flipped on him...we get into da john..cakies scared ta death n not havin it...timmy couldn't go now dat we were there...fine, we'll go home...i'm seriously spacin, n start home..realize we left timmys backpack at school so we stopped there n waited fer da teachers to come n unlock it..got da backpack n came home..dat wuz jus yesterday n dats even sketchy..its really weird, i came home,got da kids lunch....i even opened a new 2 liter of soda n da damn thing exploded all ova me, muh hair, muh clothes, da floor n kno wut?..i didn't care!!..DATS NOT LIKE ME,lol..normally i'd be like.."furk furkin furker"... took a pill n i got muh mind back...i made dinner, watched gh, got homework done n did da usual nitely routine...da movie star made good on da hot bath last nite n joined me til he couldn't stand it..total bout 5 minutes,lol...i like it really hot...he can't handle da heat wiffout it wipin him out..lol..i stayed in fer bout an hour then got out n found some food...chatted n got tired...went ta bed n well, lol..i remember dat,lmao...

i haven't had a pill since last night, jus motrin...n i'm gettin dat spacey outta body feelin as i type..dats a cue fer me ta stop or i'll really start ramblin..n omg anotha thing..on these pills (or off em,lol..i can't even tell which is better or worse anymore) i get da drops..i'm droppin everything!!!..i really feel da numbness of da mouth n chin too when i'm off em...i'm not sure i can get used to this feeling but i'm tryin...it really hits n sux when i put on da lipstick n can't feel it...i'm holdin onto hope dat it'll come back but unlikely..i go back to see dr. furked me up tomorrow n we'll see wut he says..one thing afta this experience..i'm not runnin back ta get da otha 2 done anytime in da nearest of near futures... n no i'm not talkin like chewbacca still...lol...ok i'm off to possibly pop a pill..bonnie n clyde are makin a fort n watchin monsters inc...i needa do some laundry catch up too, n get da house in order fer this weekend..no parties er' anything special..well, we're goin ta one but not havin one, factor in football game n practices, n da usual stuff then da movie star has a 2 day class down by nyc he'll be away fer from sun-tues sooo i gots things ta do...i'll be in n out dependin on muh spaciness...lol...see ya'll lata...hopefully i delivered sumfin fer numba 100...well besides da hand cramp,lol..

coopy da loopy

p.s. timmy is now referrin ta cakie as "smootsiepoo"..n she's callin timmy "googlybear"...LOL..

rejoice to da heavens above..i luv school,lol...

not quite as good as da few minutes after birth when yer feelin so much relief it's almost as good as an orgasm...yet jus as warm n fuzzy as say..findin out yer mother in law is movin outta state, LOL..(which i should neva dream cuz she jus would not...come on she is movin, but closa ..she works like 30 minutes from her house but dats notta factor, lol..we're 5 minutes away..)...dat about sums up in a lil slice how i feel bout school...half da quiet fer this first week has been heavenly...not to say its been dat quiet tho...bonnie n clyde are at war every hour er' so..lol...timmy starts school this wed....but his speech teacher started last week...whole new timmy she says,lol..he's much clearer...in fact when asked if he wanted to glue his fire hoses to da fire truck he responded to her.."no, i'm retired"...she cracked up n said.."ohhh timmy, i missed u"...da kids a nut, he'll luv school i'm sure, he knows the school and the teachers from when chris went so its not brand new to him, n his speech teacher who iz more like "aunt carrie" (after 2 years) will see him at school twice a week...i think he'll do fine as long as he lays off his.."yer a pain in my ass" kick...not too sure it'd go ova well in church school..LOL..

sooooo..it's 3 days into da school year last friday...alex n chris get off da bus n we come in n un-load da backpacks...ohhh wuts this packet?... i'm sellin yankee candles ..no wait, i take dat back..i'm sellin yankee candles fer 2 kids...holy furk, first fundraiser is afta 3 days of school!!!!...i wuz a lil shocked...jesus mary n st. ralph...lol...damn good thing i need candles..only thing..when i told da movie star i wuz orderin $120 bucks in candles he wuzn't tickled,lmao...but heyyyy its fer da school, good cause, lol...n saves me from havin anotha candle party..he'll deal......i've already hit da motherlesbianinlaw (whose takin a packet ta work, yay), muh mom, n muh aunt up fer candles..i gotta drop a packet off at muh aunts this friday...she said dat would be a good time cuz she could let her friends order since they'll be there fer a pedicure party ..WTF?..a pedicure party???...LOL...i wuz rollin' when i read dat email n called mom...she's like.."*laffin* oh u kno yer aunt..any excuse ta have a party"..."well yeah but..A PEDICURE PARTY?.."..LOL..go furkin figure...weird iffen ya ask me but hey...wuteva gets ya tingly i spose'...

friday night we did our usual shoppin thang...nuttin too excitin..i did get timmy his halloween costume...i'm on top of it this year after da motherlesbianinlaw took it upon herself last year to go ova me n decide wut da kids would be..FURK DAT!!!!...i started askin da kids last week wut they wanted ta be n i gave em til friday,lol...timmy wants to be a "minjin turtle" aka ninja turtle timmy style,lol...cakie wants wut else but barbie ...chris wanted grim reaper "gwim" ta timmy...n alex a mummy.."mommy" iffen ya ask timmy,lol....so at wal-mart friday night they had 1 ninja turtle, da red one even which he wanted...i grabbed it cuz dats da one dat'll be gone...the others would be easy i'm figurin a 4 pack of toilet paper alone would be fine fer alex...(til it wuz brought to muh attention by da motherlesbianinlaw..."wut if it rains?"...ok good point..FURK,lol)..we'll work on dat...cakie has decided she now wants to be cinderella...i'll get dat one this week,lol......we rushed home afta shoppin n i informed da kids they HAD ta go ta bed cuz it wuz da night of TIM n i wanted a peaceful watchin environment, lol...motherlesbianinlaw got da hint n left n in between commercials i got da kids ta bed...da movie star even watched wiff me...impressive huh?..lol...tims droolable...i jus felt i needed ta share dat n omg dat new warren brothers show iz hilarious...i'd luv to meet them...too funny.....afta da tim-extravaganza it wuz off ta bed cuz we had to get out early sat. mornin fer chris' first football game...

come sat. mornin we were runnin late, timmy n alex had almost as much interest in goin as i have interest in goin to a metallica concert..(sorry bro,lol..hurts muh head)...but we headed out..45 minutes later...n one wrong turn, we found da place..we left so early we were early at da field so it twas all good...kids ran around n then chris went wiff his team to do their warm ups,lol..too cute...da movie stars cousins showed up wiff his uncle so dat wuz cool...more people ta entertain timmy,lol...who wuz runnin tree ta tree playin hide n seek,lol...then it wuz gametime...the team they were playin against came out n looked like they knew exactly wut they were doin,lol...ours well..kinda clueless,lol..n i thought this wuz a non-tacklin flag team...our kids were throwin their kids to da ground left n right,lol..dats right dats da neighborhood we're from, lmao...they didn't win but had fun...they'll work on their weak points in practice this week to be ready fer next week, anotha 40 minute away game ..this time tho..since grandma n grandpa live right along da way...da 3 are gettin dropped off wiff them so mom n dad can enjoy da game..LOL..rain n all this sat. prolly grrrr,lol...afta da game we came home n had lunch then hubbys aunt n uncle up from florida visitin came ova...this poor womans breath is terrible, like sumfin died in there,lmao..i'm practically horrified dat one of da kids more than likely timmy will say sumfin, lol...so i send em out ta play, lmaooo...gawd az i read this i KNOW now i'm goin ta hell......lol...but i'll keep on keepin on...afta they left...we jus had dinner n hubby went out to da garage n we watched "home on the range"...chris told da movie star.."i don't wanna watch it, mom only wants ta watch cuz it has a tim song in it"...LOL...he's like..."son, yer mom has issues, but it'll be a cute movie".....n it wuz a cute movie...n yes i did hear it, lol...

mom called sunday mornin n said she'd be by later in da day, she wuzn't goin to da usual mass at church..she wuz goin to a wedding later in da day there to "see wut its like".....i told gary n he's like.."yer moms a whack...does she even kno these people?"...i said.."well...yeah she knows da chicks mom but wuzn't invited"..LMAO..he says.."yer moms a fruitloop"...i couldn't argue...soooo knowin da weddin wuz at 2 i wuz surprised to see her n lisa n da kiwi at muh house at like 2:30...i'm like.."wut happened?"...lisa says..."well i told mom we should leave cuz da baby wuz fussin in church"..ohh muhhh lawddd the 3 of em went...LOL...anyyywho,lol...they stayed awhile, mom ordered candles,lol...we were talkin bout wut the kids were gonna be fer halloween n lisa wuz sittin on da couch wiff timmy n da movie star...so i go down da list of who iz gonna be wut..then when i wuz done, da movie star chimes in "matter-of-factly"..."i'm goin as a lesbian trapped in a mans body"...LOL...lisa started laffin so hard i thought i'd hafta go retrieve her inhaler from her car, lmao...i looked at her n she literally had tears streamin down her face...i'm like.."ya should kno wiff him he'll say sumfin funny"...she's tryin ta talk thru laffin.."but it wuz how he said it"...LOL..mom got a chuckle outta it too but not like lisa, lol...muh hubbys not right,lol...sunday night wuz jus alotta gettin ready fer school...then i came ova here ta chat fer a few...so i'm sittin here..n i sneezed...but when i sneezed i blew da headset off muh head, lmao....i normally hold muh sneezes in n da movie star bitches n says one day muh heads gonna burst, lol...so he chimes in.."i told ya one day u were gonna blow yer head off"...i replyed.."oh don't u wish?"..LOL...n he pipes back.."well-YEAH"..lmao furker i tell ya...lol...

yesterday when i got da kids off da bus, chris looked less than thrilled, unlike him cuz he usually gets off da bus n runs to me whereas alex bein da slowest boy in da world (so slow da earths axis needs ta turn backwards ta keep up) we gotta wait fer....so chris has his head down, i'm like.."ok wuts up?"...he finally told me theres a bully on da bus...alex says he's kiddin wiff chris but chris says differently...i'm lookin into it, i don't wanna hafta kick no 4th grade 9 year old arse,lol...

n last night wuz orientation at timmys school...now he goes to a lil church school, it's literally a church n a lil classroom attatched...i mingled wiff da teachers n gary went into da church (where da meetin wuz bein held) n sat down..then i joined him...he hasta make fun of everything, lol...da fake flowers, da altar dat is on 4 pieces of 4x4 wood, unstained even ta match da altar,lol...i sat down n started playin wiff da pencils n collection envelopes...i'm like.."hmm no erasers, betta get da price right da first time"..lol....he's lookin at da 6 hymn books n sayin.."ya think they do alotta singin in here?"..goofball...n i'm commentin on all da paper n pencils..he says.."it's fer quick draw..the numbers pop up on that cross up there.."..omg i wuz dyin...then a lady sneezed, n like 15 people said bless u to her...n gary looks at me n says.."don't ya think when u say.."bless u" in church..that yer oversteppin yer bounds?.."...omg he is not right, lmao....all in all da meetin wuz good..i've been thru it before wiff chris so i felt comfortable..they do alotta field trips n i could neva go, this time around i can so woohoo...omg yesterday mornin before school chris cornered me n asked me if i'll still be goin to school on tuesdays..i'm like.."well hunny u aren't in kindergarten anymore"..his reply.."but i still have centers".....plz plz dear lawd, not centers...i'll stop pickin on people...ok i won't but..i'll try bein nicer when i pick..LOL...

really nuttin much to speak of goin on this week or even weekend..cept' fer chris' game saturday...timmy will be in school..maybe cakie n i will go shoppin, we will see...but fer now, i'm off to do some more of da neva-endin process i refer to as..laundry...then stick around n await da UPS man..been trackin muh tix n they're scheduled fer delivery t'day woohooooo...ttyall' lata...

coopy

woofurkinhoooooo school tomorrow...

party @ coopys house...clothes need not apply...lmao..ok so i'm dreamin...might as well dream big huh?...fer real they'll leave first thing in da mornin n my big party will prolly involve a pair of rubber gloves n toilet cleaner... imma kinky furker i tell ya....lol...

woohooo not only school tomorrow but tim iz in 1 month...mmmmm i'm so sexcited,lol...i think muh cd iz warped,lol...it's on mornin noon n nite......i got da set list n everything..i'm ready...

okies soooo yer wonderin wut happened @ dr. towelheads huh?...ahhh hell most of ya'll kno already...i took muh 47 thousand papers they sent home fer me ta fill out n left da kiddies wiff muh 16 year old cousin kenzie (she's so clueless its not even funny,lol)...timmy wuz pullin her shirt forward n lookin down her top n gigglin devilish so dat wuz muh cue to jus let her deal..LOL..it wuz a good ride to da office, 2 tim songs back ta back.....put me in a good frame of mind...i get there n they took me right in, nurse wuz cool as hell...they were really quick, x rays then poof theres da towelhead, he shakes muh hand n yes fer a half a millisecond i thought.."he'd be do-able iffen i wuz into camel humpers"......he's young n kinda good lookin...so he's there givin me all kindsa instructions n descriptions n wut have yous..tells me wut he's gonna do..n then he goes stickin his rubber gloved fingers in muh mouth......blahhhh...n he asks me.."do u get headaches?"...simple enuff question but i'm coopy...LOL.."well....i have 4 kids under 8 sooo kinda hard to tell wut da headaches are associated wiff"...omg da nurse wuz laffin hysterically,lol...n dr towelhead?.." "...ok he's gonna need a sense of humor to get thru me, lol...i'll work on him when i'm sedated, LOL...dats all i'm afraid of...wut i'm gonna say under da influence..i hope ta god i don't tell him i'd do him..lol..anywho, da right side, da problem side iz comin out sept. 22nd...i kno, why so long?...well dr. towelhead iz on vacation fer 2 weeks so,lol...

ok this football thing kinda has me baffled...chris' goes last week n gets his official game list..(6 games for 6 saturdays in a row), now peeps...da kid iz 6 n he plays fer a lil flag team...so i get da game list.. first furkin 3 games are away games...n not only are they away games...da furkin cities are like 45 minutes away..HOLY FURK...i'm like..(to da movie star,lol).."well...have fun i'll catch him at da home games"..LOL..i'm not takin da brat pack to terrorize anotha place,lol...wow, fer a flag football team, dayummm...oh n there's 1 away game dat's away in our city.....go figure dat one..n get back ta me cuz i sure az shit can't..LOL

did i mention school starts tomorrow????......

sooooo i'm sittin here @ da puter friday afternoon...all set fer goin shoppin fri. nite, i had muh list done, house clean, all set to jus rock n roll n go...(i'mma planner peeps, it's muh OCD..LOL)..so i'm sittin here poppin balloons n glancin back n forth between GH n da damn puter, it's 3:30...phone rings ...it's da motherlesbianinlaw n she iz layin on da soundin like death thing sumfin fierce..she tells me she hasn't left da house in 3 days n wondered if we could bring da kids to her...ok guys..i'm PISSED..she couldn't call me a day b4?...9 a.m dat mornin even???...GRRRRRRR...i tell her.."well da kids go back ta school next week n i want em healthy, n u need yer rest so lemme call lisa er' try gettin someone else"...she says ok...sooo i call lisa...she wuz havin company, grrr...i call da movie star n he says.."we'll jus bring em"... yeah dats wut i wanted...but i went wiff it...doesn't she call back at 5.."is lisa coming?"..."no she can't do it so we're gonna jus bring em".."awww you guys shouldn't bring them, it'll be too much...(now da death voice miraculously gets better..like a furkin miracle,lol)...bring them ova to my house they aren't gonna catch a sinus infection n i'm feeling a lil betta today"......"ok let me talk to him n see wut he wants to do n we'll call ya back"...movie star gets home n i tell him..."fine.."...we load up da sweet pickles bus n head ova...they were all complainin bout havin ta go shoppin anyway so furk, look like everyone wuz happy,lol...n i wuz childless so i wuz purty excited,lol...we got da kids school chit off layaway then got our groceries...da movie star ran into a friend from growin up...oh muh lawd he's hot..LOL...i'm like crossin off things i got from da list n eyein da man at da same time......lol, i'm unstoppable i tell ya...sooo we leave there n we had so many damn bags there wuz no way we could fit da kids in there,lol...so we went home n unloaded..no sex in da parkin lot peeps,lol...twas gettin late,lol....so we get everything situated at home, he calls his mom n tells her we'd be ova shortly...i start ta get ready ta walk out da door...i didn't get far,lol...he closed da door b4 i got there n wellllllllllllllllllllll......all refreshed we went n got da kids...mingled wiff "casey" a bit,lol...she really iz nice...we talked bout new movie rentals...lol...maybe she wants me......not muh type,lol....too manly,lol...

saturday mornin i called lisa wantin ta kno if she could babysit next monday..i get dad,lol..."iz lisa there?".."no, her n yer mother went out shoppin fer their diet food"..n he's laffin..LOL..i'm like.."oh yeah i heard mom lost 6 pounds"..dad says..."yeah ya sure can't find where she lost it tho"..."she needs to lose a couple more 6s to notice"..LMAO...omg he kills me, dad iz a riot... hmmm ohhhhhh motherlesbianinlaw called early n asked iffen she could take all of em fer school haircuts...we were more than happy to let em all go,lol...she came ova wiff her mom n her mom told da kids they all were goin shoppin, she gave em 5 bucks to do az they pleased at da dolla store,lol...may not seem thrillin but dats like christmas ta my kids,lol...da motherlesbianinlaw gave me some painkillers cuz i had told her i wuz up in tears at 3:30 in da mornin...woohoo i scored,lol...as soon as they left, da movie star went to da garage ta do his thang n i went straight to da shower...then i turned tim up really loud n did muh cleanin...woohoo fun....lol..lisa finally called me lata dat day...she couldn't babysit cuz of nite class but volunteered mom ta do it,lol...i told her wut dad had said n she wuz rollin,lol...then she said dat da first time she did this diet awhile ago (she fell off da bandwagon surprise surprise,LOL) n this is when da fruit first went ta their house...mom had said she lost 2 pounds..lisa told me dad had walked around her n hit her on da ass n said.."i think i found it"..LMFAO...ya see'in where i get muh warped humor yet?..LOL...we did not a damn thang saturday nite..welllllll...as a family,lol....of course a cpl of us did,lol...then it twas ta bed cuz it wuz family picnic day sunday......my family

sunday afta breakfast we jus loafed around til it wuz time ta go...right b4 we step out da door theres a car in our driveway...it's da hubbys cousin ...kids are all wantin ta go, n i'm like.."ok he comes once a year..no phone call?...do we give him a half hour?.."...garys like "nope...go to da van guys"..LOL..his cousin has da new flavor of da year wiff him..she's all talkative n talkin to me n da kids...introduces herself as his fiance.....yikes...we talked fer like 15 minutes then we hadda go...as soon as we were in da van i'm like.."he can do betta than her"..gary says.."no he can't,he can't keep a girl"...n i gotta,lol..."there's absolutely NO "do factor" there fer me"..LOL...he looks at me n says.."me either"...n we jus laffed..we stopped at da store cuz i wuz ta bring a dessert thing, i grabbed a bunch of cookies...lol...i'm easy,lol..shup ...at da party da kids jus went in all directions...to muh cousins, to grandpa...jus not ta us,lol...it wuz nice, not too many people like she usually invites n alotta muh "older" relatives...now last party muh aunt had...timmy got ahold of da fish food in kenzies room n dumped da whole full bottle into da tank...not only dat he ripped down her shower curtain, lmao...the shower had a lit candle in it...LMAO...nuttin happened but she learned ta be more prepared when timmys around, lol...she had said she put up da fish tank n food n lit no candles......the kids played football outside wiff muh cousin ryan n left us alone,lol...i wuz poundin some smoothie drink dat wuz spiked,lol...i wuz likin it,lol..then mom n i got muh aunt cornered...we started talkin bout gettin lisa a male stripper...she wants one cuz she knows da fruits goin out to clubs n chit so fair iz fair..only he won't stand fer it so we gotta be slick bout it...we're gonna have it at muh aunts...da fruit can't stand her so its safe,lol...lisa also wants a fireman ..n this place doesn't have one..i'm all fer da nerd tho ..she'd die,lmao...then gary says.."since she hates muh friend danny so much i should have him do it"...muh aunt wuz rollin..she LOVED da idea,lol...jus as a joke then da real one would come in..lisa would be pissed n prolly leave tho, lmao..then muh uncle comes in n is sittin wiff us...its me, gary muh aunt n uncle n mom, n we're talkin bout strippers n wut they do,lol...muh aunt wuz tellin us bout one she saw dat wuz way too raunchy,lol...an older relative comes in (she's way old,lol..i'm not sure how we're related but anywho)..n muh aunts talkin bout this guy teabaggin this chick.....da old one says.."wut?"..."wuts dat"...n omg we were all crackin up...LOL...then muh uncle says.."go ahead frannie...explain teabaggin to her"..LMFAO...da old lady left jus sayin she wuz too old ta kno,lol...i wuz laffin so hard,lol...gawd neva a dull moment...then like 10 minutes lata timmy runs in from da slidin glass door thru da kitchen into da livin room n thru da house wiff his pants down jus flappin in da breeze sayin.."moveeeeeeee i gotta go POOP"...omfg i thought muh uncle wuz gonna piss himself laffin,lol....oh gawd too funny...afta dessert it wuz gettin late so we took off...i got home n started feelin chitty so i popped a loopy pill...took dat pain right away n i wuz all happy...watched Unfaitful wiff da movie star n afta dat i wuz all kindsa sexcited,LOL...needless ta say i wuzn't here...

hmmmmm....ahh yes yesterday, wellll bein dat da movie star had day off i made good use of him, we went right thru da older boys room, got rid of soooo many clothes n got their dressers n school clothes ready, backpacks are all ready..school juices are a chillin...we're ready...lol...it wuz a cleanin fest, it needed to be done, now i gotta get rid of most of my clothes...theres clothes everywhere downstairs but i'm puttin it off,lol...then da motherlesbianinlaw called to see if we could go ova to her aunts to see her mom 1 more time b4 she goes back home n also to see her uncle who wuz in town...no prob...we finished da house, ate dinner n were off...i hadda watch her uncle,lol...he fell in luv wiff muh cakie,lol...he asked if he could keep her,lol...hellllllllllllllll no...lol...she kept feedin him cookies n he couldn't get ova how pretty she wuz ...the kids got to run around in da yard, n us adults got eaten alive by furkin mosqitoes (dat doesn't look rite but wtfurk?..lol)...i wuz in some serious mouth pain too..otha side tho ...so i wuz pushin ta leave...we said our goodbyes n da kids got their "envelopes" from da uncle,lol...shoppin here we come,lol...i came home n chatted a bit n took some regular meds,lol..then i got in a mood,lol...so i left fer da nite, nuff said........

woohoooooooooooo school starts tomorrowwwwwwwww...only thing dat sux iz dat now i can't loaf around anymore,lol...gotta get rite up n in da shower...tonight should be interesting,lol...gotta do all muh fluffin so it goes smoothly in da mornin..plus football...i matched all da boys clothes in their dressers cuz lord knows their dad can't match, he'll let em go ta school lookin like hobos,lol...i'm a must match person,lol...we got word bout timmys school, n he starts next wed....so da taxi will be back in action next week,lol...i'm lookin forward to it in all honesty...wuz a good workout fer me when i did it b4...i jus gotta watch da ice...his school iz da one i wuz off to dat day i went out n busted muh ass a cpl years ago,lol...i really am not lookin forward to da snow n ice,lol..it's not kind ta me,lol....

okies they're fightin ova spongebob ps2 so i gotta go referee fer one more day....lol...woohoooooooooooo i luv school....*singin*...it'sssss daaaaaa mostttttttt wonderfullllllllll timeee of da yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...l8ters

coopy