furkin fruits...

ok i'm super impatient now...status is that she is walkin round 2 centimeters...n gates jr. says iffen she's still hangin round' fer friday he's gonna hook her up to a stress test then between fruit juniors assement n lisa they will decide on whether er' not to induce...WUT DA FURK i say...damnit i went early all 4 times, this chit sux moose cock...LOL...so here i sit, STILL waitin on da phone ta ring...tonight she calls, asks me some really gay question bout laundry detergent er' some chit n i'm like "grrrrrrr"...she's like "oh sorry"...LOL...i'm very much right now...we're in a holding pattern folks...STILL...i can't take much more holdin i tell ya,lol...i'm da kid dat when christmas came i carefully opened muh presents dat were under da tree then closed em up n replaced da tape right exactly where it was, lmao...hates surprises...n waitin round to see when muh phones gonna ring is literally makin me insane...(not dat i wasn't b4...LOL)..ok shup peanut gallery ...oh n as fer father fruit..well last i knew he is set to get out in mid june..wuteva happened ta may 21 hellifiknow, so i jus shush...lol...

ahhh anywho...i'm LOVIN da new kitchen...took time gettin used to da stove n well even da microwave...lol...timmys poor chicken nuggets got fried first few times i used da new mic,lol...he's like.."mom?"...LOL...movie star n i got into it bout da new stove n grease..LOL...furker pissed me off...lol, got ova it tho ..i'm da cook wut can he say?..lmao...won't affect da weekend getaway...well dat won't at least...ya see...member' dat getaway i wuz plannin fer july?..well ya see coopy likes adventure,lol...i had a nice hotel picked out n a day at six flags planned...come to see on da news a week er' two later doesn't a guy die on da superman roller coaster......says to da movie star..."say ummmm....guy died on da roller coaster at da six flags we're goin to "..he says.."ohhhhhhhh great, n u wanna take ME there?"...LOL..."ok so we'll rethink it?"....dats in a holding pattern too, lmao...holdin onta its not gonna happen,lol...BUT...countryfest is the weekend before n i'm thinkin i could be quite happy bein there wiff keith urban ...movie star will complain (as always bout muh country infatuation,lol) but hey...tis either da hillbilly music er' death by coaster..his choice ...oh n on top of countryfest...aren't we in da truck friday night n the dj (after i changed da channel to country of course )..say that he's givin away tickets to da kenny chesney show ...WHOA..back it up buttercup...kenny?..here?..concert?..gary quickly fumbles to change da channel n i near whacked his arm off,lol..yes sure enuff...august 12th.. i'm like.."ya kno i'm goin right?".."ya kno ya better get me good seats fer dat one?"..."gonna plant a bug in someones ear down there at da grease pit huh?.."...LOL...i better go..lol..da wrath of darlene ain't too pretty,...

k so last week i started feelin..well not right,lol...knew i knew this feelin, n what it wuz, n why i have it blah blah blah..n knew i needed to go see da doc so she could hook me up wiff da goods,lol...so yes, i broke down n went to da docs, yes alert da media...n sure enuff..UTI..now before ya go thinkin its cuz imma supafreak in da bedroom...(i am BUTpurty good wiff da skillz,lol).it's ENTIRELY muh fault, n nope, has nuffin to do wiff how often da bunny usage is either,lol...ya see peeps..i'm jus not a pee'er ..been told i am camel-like...i can go all day, lol..it's soooooooo ten kindsa wrong but imma holder,lol..jus like dat,lol...wayyyyyyyyyyy too much info but hey, u love it, lol...anywho...dats how me gots it, n sure enuff i was right,lol..had one a time er' two b4,lol..i gotta take bonnie n clyde cuz no ones around to watch em'...so in this closet like room ya have me, timmy n cakie...sittin all nice n quiet until da doc comes in..then it was a room free for all.....timmys pumpin up da blood pressure machine, cakies playin wiff da stirrups on da table, papers rustlin, drawers openin n closin..geez,lol.n they KNO i can't yell cuz theres someone else present,lol..we were out quick tho,lol..outside da docs they have ducks cuz theres a pond right there...so we go to da van n theres no ducks round' our way... but i let them watch fer a bit while i answered da cell (hopin it was lisa..NO..)...movie star checkin on me..lol..then i turn around n see a duck comin across da pond to us.."i'm like cool..look guys here comes one, maybe he'll come close"..CLOSE?...LMAO..this fucker got up outta da water n started to climb on da rocks..mind u theres no fence n like 10 feet er' less between us, jus a gaurd rail......cakie got freaked n backed up..but theres timmy.."comere duckie duck"......fucker starts comin...i'm like "lets go..NOW"..LOL..duck was like shit u ya no cracker havin lady..lol..n went back to da water,lol..enuff excitement fer me i tell ya,lol...off to da pharmacy, give da chick who wuz purty cute i must say..(oh btw movie star has brought it to muh attention that the women i usually oogle n pick out have big asses, lmao...i denied it but i gotta pay attention now,lol..furker)...so when she calls me back up she's like.."k, yer insurance will only pay fer 10 at a time".."ummm ok?"...she's like..."you have 4 left"..."ummm ok?"..."u seem puzzled?"..."ya think?...umm ok she said take 1 a day fer 7 days.....how do i get 14?.."...ok this chick had no clue..the chick next to her had no clue..oh well i have 10 pills yay me, n iffen i feel da burn again before 2005 i'm set fer 4 pills, works fer me...LOL...gotta say that damn antibiotic furked up muh sex drive..hell i didn't even wanna think bout sex...lol...tonight i got brave tho...lol...dropped muh drawers n said find muh mood,lol..he found it, lmao...i still work, lol...yay me,lol...

da dress fer da wedding will be here friday...oh joy,lol...means its gettin closer, lol..nerves are settin in,lol...i gotta walk like an ass in front of all those peeps down dat furkin long ass aisle in those gargantuan heels n pray ta god almighty he keeps me vertical.....jus hope no one tells me ta "break a leg"...cuz imma thinkin i literally may,lol...

muh weekend wuz really quiet...sunday danny came ova to help fix da pool.....fer those of ya who dunno da pool saga..coopy had a pool, above ground.filter busted n ripped da liner winter 2001-02..replaced da liner n filter...furker collapsed back winter 2002-03...daddy n his international bank supplied us wiff a new one...well winter 2003-04 started to buckle on one panel ...they fixed it, n they say (yeah right)..it'll last us a few more years ...anywho...its runnin n jus bout to rock now,lol...then the guys cleaned up the yards n stuff..muh neighbors were havin a party fer their sons fiances' graduation n invited us all ova...we had jus ordered dinner n i was knee deep in piles of laundry so i chose to stay back while they all went ova n were force fed, lmao..next thing i kno movie star came in with choc covered strawberries n plopped em in da frig fer me..(psst i think he likes me,lol)...then after a bit the bell rings..muh neighbors son is standin there with a piece of cake...omg now da 411 on muh neighbors son...HOT HOT N MO HOT..omg he has a chest to die for,lol..n arms, n omg ass, lol...n wow his eyes too,lol..anywho..wow i'm havin hot flashes,lol..movie star refers to him as "muh boyfriend"...jus cuz he's a shit dat way,lol..now peeps, coopy doesn't eat cake so i'm all like "aww ya didn't hafta do this"...n he's chit chattin with me as i'm tinglin in muh special parts, lol..kiddin i wasn't but wow dat close,lol...he invited me over but i told him i hadda do laundry n he understood..hey he comes from a large family too,lol...lil bit later i go on the porch when hubby n danny n the kids came back over..i'm like "n i don't even eat cake but how could i refuse?'...lol...garys like..'i knew ya wouldn't,lol'..n danny says.."why ya think we waited 10 minutes to come back ova?..we knew you'd go rub one out.."...gawd, lmao...such an ass,lol...i assure ya i didn't,lol..jus saved his face fer a lata date wiff da movie star , lmaoooo...

see, this is whatcha call a slow week..i'm tired as hell n we're gettin hit storm after storm so i'm gonna call it quits fer this week...spank hun i'm soooooooooooo glad ta kno ya home n doin well gf..get betta so we can think bout sluts some more, lmao...everyone stay safe this holiday weekend, party but don't party too hard,lol..yeah right,lol...jus b careful..me luvs ya'll...n fer da luv of god almighty say a prayer baby fruit makes his entrance already...furkin fruits,lol...laters taters,lol...it's killin me, i wanna baby,LOL...

coopy

wut have we learned this week?....

1. lisa's baby is holdin out on me...
2. spur of da moment remodelization projects are a pain in muh arse...
3. 1 horrible tune from the past when sang at the wrong moment can really furk up a good sexual experience...
4. when shoppin fer paint..do not take along a color-blind man...
5. appliances bought on a whim should always be MEASURED before purchasing...
6. i have some pretty furked up dreams...

now dat i have yer attention.....kk...well yes...lisa still has not popped...last monday she lost 3 pounds, this monday she lost anotha 3...good fer her but dammit wheres muh baby?..lol...dr. gates said he hopes to see her b4 next monday...i'm not holdin muh breath anymore..furk...friday night da phone rang n i look at da caller id..it was lisa..i was like "woohoo we're havin a baby!"...i pick it up..nope she jus wanted to ask me some bs question bout some lil cramp,lol..oh n garys standin there goin " we're???"...LOL...i'm excited damnit...

i was informed 2 things last week afta i typed da previous edition of da coopy chronicle..(1) that we were being blessed tuesday night with da movie stars buddy richs' 1959 cadillac..(project car of course..gawd )..they bring this batmobile lookin type relic of a car covered in 23 years worth of dust enuff to gimme a sinus headache...his buddy comes in n wants ta use da phone to call his wife..i say.."no fone bonin"..he says "is dat like phone sex?"..i'm sayin.."well duh,lol"..then he goes on to tell me how he's done it n he thought it was purty cool.......me.....""...i so don't wanna be thinkin bout it...iffen ya seen his wife you'd understand...da same woman dat once fer a wedding cut a dress down da sides n sewed in curtain panels so it'd fit.....i was sittin at da pc...so on da subject..wut do i do?..lol..i called him ova n showed him da Televibe site...LMAO..he was floored but thought it was awesome...n like da good representative i am (hopin i get one free outta pity,lol)...i tell him it comes wiff a male or a female attatchment.."u're not right, u kno dat?"..he says...yeah well...LOL..otha thing i was informed of last week was (2)...the kitchen floor was being installed sunday when pats dad n gary would do it...(i knew gary couldn't wait much longer, lol)...this meant appliances hadda be taken out n placed in da dinin room on saturday...(no cookin fer 2 days...)...ok no prob i say...

friday night...usual grocery shoppin night..went pretty quick no otha stops cuz movie star wasn't feelin too good, killer head cold (finally transfered, LOL...i have no shame...)...although i must say...didn't hinder his sexual appetite, then again da furker was prolly tryin to give it back,lol..poor guy was whooped tho..we go to bed n i'm like "how ya want it?"...he laughs n umm well we goin at it..(gotta leave SOME room fer da imagination, LOL)...doesn't he start singin.....in context wiff da how ya want it comment he's sing replyin..."i'm easyyyyyy...easy like sunday mornin..."...omg ..i start crackin up...i mean full out beltin it out complete with all da oohs n ahhhs in da furkin song.....this is muh husband.....i'm laffin, he's laffin...tryin to keep da momentum goin i tell him to shup fer he's furkin da sahara desert...LMFAO...wut a moment ....

saturday mornin, knowin wuts to come later...i took it upon muhself to make a phone call to da international bank of DAD n ask him to float us a loan to get da appliances outta hock so we aren't puttin da old ones back only to take em out again in july...dat darlene is one smart furker when she wants ta be,...so movie star was happy to hear dat n called da store n told them he would pick em up mon. night....afta work saturday movie star comes home intending to move the old appliances out to get ready fer da floor da next day...gets a call from pats brothers danny n pete (AKA tweedle dee n tweedle dum,lol)...pete bought da kids a new swingset...its 21 feet long ..n they're on their way to bring it n put it together ...mind u its downpours every half hour n an electrical storm warnin......rich was here too cleanin da batmobile relic...ok peeps..it took these 4 big strong men..4.5 hours to put this monster together....lmao...lightnin everywhere n these rocket scientists are weildin metal posts n tools all ova n these guys are laffin n jokin da whole time one joke in particular was dat they decided on da 21 foot set because as pete said "darlene would want the longest one"...FURKER, LOL......inside i had 6 kids (my 4 plus petes 1 n dannys 1...see i can count,lol)...all wantin to play on this thing in between downpours......yup i wanted to commit muhself but da fun was jus beginnin,lol...afta da swingset was done we all came in to eat dinner..pizza on account of no stove ...i hate pizza,lol...jus fyi....after dinner movie star says..."will one of you take my wife...."....his friends...""....then afta da pause..."over to get the paint n border she wants fer da kitchen"...goofball...lol...so danny takes me ...we go to home depot first..got our glue n stuff..looked at borders..ick...n more ick...so we decide to check out wal-mart..we're walkin thru n we're checkin out chicks along da way...me.."theres one"...danny..."i saw nipples"...LOL...omg too funny...we found a nice apple border with black chex on it..i was like yes it'll tie in wiff da black appliances...then we are lookin at paint colors..it occurs to me then n i look at him..."u're colorblind..aren't ya?.."..."why yes i am,lol"...good lawd...lol, so i'm on muh own...but i picked out a creamy yellowish color called angel cake...then we were off..get to da parkin lot n its furkin pourin out..."gawd i'm gonna get all wet, this isn't good"...danny says..."yeah n in a small white tank top too..."...i fire right back,lol.."it's pink u color blind fuck.."...LMAO...was good fer a laff..kinda weird bein alone wiff him, we talked bout pat n how he's bored wiffout him, n how he shoulda gotten to da doctors sooner...wasn't bad jus awkward..then he tells me (n this will give insigt into danny,lol..guys a nut)..he found one of pats t-shirts at his house n put it up on da wall...then proceeded to tell me how durin radiation they made a molded-type face mask with eye cutouts of pat...n pat asked to keep it...anotha nut ...so wut did danny do?..he put da mask above the t-shirt n then put lightbulbs in it that light up da eyes.....n I"M morbid???...LOL...he's like "wut?..it's cool, n pat woulda loved it"..which is true no arguement there,lol......when we got back to da house, movie star was no joke, old floors ripped up, old wallpaper all down, fixtures down, old appliances into da dinin room...when the guys left he stayed up n painted...looks good..n he approved of da color..like he shoulda, lmao...

sunday mornin phil (their dad) shows up..i'm like.."i'm gonna go shower quick"...phil says "lemme kno if ya need help washing yer back"...n i wonder where his sons get their perviness from ...the floor...OMG i never heard so many obscenities outta garys mouth in one day..took em from 9-6 to do it...with many "gawd this stuff sux"(laminate hardwood floors) n "i never wanna use this stuff again"...LMAO...i stayed outta da way but it looks damn good...oh n sunday we had pizza ...movie star bordered the room sunday night n i was all happy...jus needed da appliances...oh n da rest of muh stuff on da walls n counters n shit...lol...so while i'm online movie star is puttin da knick knack thingamabobbers up n flowers n stuff then goes off to get me diet coke since they drank it all...within dat 10 minutes i had gotten offline n gone to da kitchen n rearranged it all...LOL..everything has a spot wiff me, lol..i'm anal dat way..yes i said anal,lol...he didn't care but i did get a mumble when he came back, lmaooo...

ahhh monday night...well afta work movie star met up wiff danny n rich at da house n they were off to get da appliances, in pats truck (well dannys truck,lol...dannys been told he cannot call it his, it'll always be pats,lol)...they get back n unpack da stuff..we have a 23, 600 btu air conditioner sittin on da back porch...(next project will be cuttin da gargantuan hole in muh wall near da computer fer this monster, whereas when runnin i'll need a snowsuit to keep warm while chattin..cuz lord knows i won't leave, lmao..."oh look at how cute coopy looks in her scarf n gloves..in june..."..LMAO...)...they bring in the over da stove microwave n set it up...they were usin phrases such as..mount..n drill...n insert..n i was repeatin it all..lmao..rich asked me iffen i was in heat,lol..i said "always"..then they sawed one of muh cabinets off to make room fer da huge mutha furkin refrigerator...now heres a sidenote, but a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee sidenote...when gary decided months ago in that precious 25 minutes of binge spendin that we needed new appliances...he did not bother to measure anything he bought let alone wait n come back afta measurin da alotted space in our kitchen ...gawd this wuz gonna be ugly.....stove came in..no real issues there...then it was time to bring in da frig...rich hadda go home he kept sayin,lol...ok well...easier said than done..iffen SOMEONE woulda measured, HE'D have known it wasn't gettin thru our door, lmao..so its sittin on our porch..then...the rocket scientists get together n decide to take da doors off da frig, da hinges off both da doors on da frig n our door...locks, anything in da way......it gets in...i'm tellin em not to scratch da floor, lmao...they put it in da spot...measurments are way off..cabinet won't be able to fit between ...darlenes freakin, she needs her cabinets fer all her shit,lol...ok rich had to leave...apparently much faster now since i begin telling him he needs to get his wife a "bunny"..he says.."i heard the dolphin is better"...i'm like.."well the dolphin IS waterproof but i love muh bunny, i use him often"..LOL...garys laffin..rich is like "why ya doin this to me?..i gotta go home n she'll be sleepin"...i'm like.."yeah i have dat effect"...gary looks up from puttin da frig door back on..."whats dat?..gettin rich all horned up"...such a shit but we all hadda laff...then rich starts goin out da door n i swear i cannot remember how it started to get this remark but rich said sumfin n danny fired back.."so rich what you're sayin is that you're goin home to stick small things into a large hole"......i was in tears, omg, lmfao...gotta luv danny ...not sure he appreciated dat comment but,lol...dats true friendship right there,lol...then gary n danny put the frig in its spot n gary leveled da thing fer bout 30 minutes.. he's gotta have it perfect,such a pain in muh arse,lol..danny n i joked about the movie children of the corn n he again commented to gary that.."i did things with your wife i'd never do when i had muh own"..(get paint n border peeps,lol)...next came da cabinet ...it did fit..jus BARELY...ok its 11pm...we have all kinds of saws in muh kitchen goin off gettin this thing to wedge in there..it was leatherfaces dream i swear all these saws goin at it...lol...when it was in place danny hadda go he was barely awake,lol...he'll be back tonight tho, takin out da old stuff...lol...poor guy...poor me i get an extra kid, his daughter,lol...ah free entertainment fer da kids,lol...all in all it was a good remodelin experience...kitchen looks great, i love the stuff...all black appliances (to which pete joked i was reminiscing about growin up in da hood to choose black)..it'll take me a week to learn how to use da stove tho,lol..

ahh n yes muh dreams, lmaooo...been kinda strange as of lately..ya see...lol...sunday mornin when i woke up...i told chris n gary that i had a dream that there was a horse walkin round our backyard...it came up to the front porch n began to TELL me about its hurt ankle......i dunno peeps, but sumfins wrong when farm animals start speakin i think...maybe i outta look dat up,lol...chris jus gave me a look n said.." yer weird mom,lol"...yeah well wut else is new,lol..next dream was wakin up monday kinda shakin muh head...i had a dream i was livin back home (in da hood) wiff da service station across da street n da cops all there...i'm inside da house n michael myers shoots me twice.....i crawl muh ass ova to da station..next frame of this FURKED UP dream..i'm cuddled up to him...(michael myers ) n we're discussin our child then i'm lickin his nipples ...LMAO..i jus don't get it, lmaooo am i THAT warped???...LMAO...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK...well on dat note,lol...well dat n da fact dat i jus asked chris wut was wrong wiff cakie to which he replyed.."she's bitchin".......gawd....n he keeps sayin it..i keep askin him"wuts she doin?"..n he keeps sayin.."she's bitchin"...you'd think he'da caught on by the fourth time of repeating that its something he shouldn't be sayin..well dat er' maybe moms ready fer miracle ear...lol..neva a dull moment peeps...keep yer fingers crossed dat lisa pops dat lil kiwi soon...like really soon...like tonight,lol...but then again..i could stay outta spawn class anotha week no prob, lmao...k i'm outtie...enjoy da novel...lol

coopy

anotha week, still no baby fruit....

i'm jus dyin to get dis lil fruit in muh arms, i'm very excited,lol...i keep hopin da phone will ring n it'll be her...trust me she wants it ova, she's been religiously pacing up n down da driveway n squatin n givin him pep talks, lmao....keep yer fingers crossed that it'll be this week...i predicted da 12-13th......we shall see...anywho...

so wednesday night was da spring concert at da school...motherlesbianinlaw came ova to re-iron everything i made an effort to iron, jus cuz she's such a tard dat way, nuffins eva right...lisa skipped class n met mom at da house who was watchin timmy n cakie durin da concert...god forbid i bring em, last time we did dat timmy ws all ova da school halls n causin havoc n we missed da songs,lol..motherlesbianinlaw left an hour ahead of time to go get decent seats, this lil gym gets packed in warp speed...over max capacity the principal soundin like an airline stewardess points out all da exits in case of emergency, such a dweeb, lmao...the classes come in n kindergarten demonstated some lil instruments...they sucked but they were so cute...lol...then they all sang together n went to their bleachers...then grade to grade used da instruments..i could done wiffout those but i had nice eye candy in da first row wiff a cpl who has kids in chris' class...in muh mind i'm all like..."how u doin "...lol...gary agreed, well on da chick at least, n i hadda wonder, hmm could they be swingers?...tings dat make ya go hmmm....ok n i gotta say it...ya know dat one kid in every class dat acts like a total goofball, all talkin, n makin faces n dancin???...dats my kid ...my lil chris has more personality than a loaded clown car...gawd help me,lol...but i thought he was a riot...lol...when we got back to da ranch afta da concert muh mom was all in a tizzy...seems muh dad albeit drunk off his ass failed miserable at assemblin da babys armoire, lol (who entrusted this non-patient man to begin wiff hellifiknow)...n left it in pieces strewn about lisas floor...my mom fit to be tied asked who else?...but gary to assemble it (why we skipped over this common sense i'll neva know)...knowin cakies party was saturday n mothers day sunday...doesn't kno when he'll have time...i was like well don't worry bout mothers day, just go n do it, i know thats important cuz da baby could come anytime...so he agreed to go up sunday....of course wiff muffled obscenities,lmao....he luvs muh family...no really ...

lets see...well market night as soon as motherlesbianinlaw came i mentioned to the kids dat i had been cleanin gettin ready fer the birthday party n while we were off to the store it was their responsibility to clean up the playroom n tidy up the other playroom on da back porch...well doesn't she get all huffy n puffy..like i ruined her "plans"....her plans which include lettin the kids destroy everything so i religiously come home every market night to a mess to clean up (i bitch everytime,lol)...not only dat but her big plans to take the kids outside to let go of some of that "extra energy"...puhleaseeee its jus an excuse fer her to get her menopause hot flash havin self out into da air...LMAO...am i bitter?..nah.......otha than dat,lol...shoppin went smoothly but we totally forgot to go to the party supply store...oops...

so saturday mornin was alot more cleanin...then da movie star hit da party supply store n we decorated..was kinda depressin tho fer me cuz i wuz blowin up balloons (get dat mental pic outta yer head now!!!)...n fer da life of me i cannot tie a balloon..go ahead laff ya furkers, lol...lil fyi..coopy also cannot whistle..BITE ME!!!..anywho...fer timmys party pat was there tyin em as i went......it was gonna be a tuff day fer me....lisa waddled in n we bs'd fer a bit then everyone else started showin up...it was pretty overcast n looked like it could pour anytime so we let cakie ride her new barbie trike in da driveway fer a bit...inside da house countless people looked at lisa n said "you're still hangin in there?"...i was waitin fer her to go off..lol...she was gettin upset...she goes "god i hate that, will ya stop sayin dat"...muh lil chris da smartass happened to be inside gettin an orange soda n says..."hey aunt lisa?..remember when ya threw the gravy?..."...LMAO...so many of ya aren't gonna get dat joke n its a damn good one so maybe iffen ya hound opal enuff she'll dig it up n resend it, its a coopy classic!!!...LOL...bro...puff dat inhaler, lmao...i know ya thinkin bout white haired lil gram sittin there gravy covered, lmaoooooo...n as if christophers comment wasn't enuff...pats younger brother, da one dat ALWAYS has evil mean comments, lol...well he's in da kitchen standin there n he's like "oh dammit, n i had a good one to say..."...i'm like what?...he's like "no i'm the kinder more gentler dan"...LOL...yeah right....lisas like no go ahead...he says "well pat held me off fer at least 30 minutes every party but he isn't here anymore soooooo"...i laff n roll muh eyes its so like him,lol....he goes "he's waiting fer da same release date as his father"....OMG i was waitin fer lisa to jus fly outta there all pissed but she actually laffed, n i then lost it, lmao...dats danny, lmao n it was sooo funny...the rain held off n the kids played outside n it was a quick party...i usually have some elaborate food spread but i kept it to cake n ice cream, i know they were cussin me but oh well,lol...party went pretty quick..she made out like a bandit, only 1 really annoyin loud toy from danny n his otha brotha pete who did not n i say not...grab muh ass,lol...thanx pat after most left it was jus motherlesbianinlaw n the 2 great aunts, i pull gary to da side (but well within earshot range, hehe)n ask him iffen he wants to invite them fer breakfast fer mothers day being we'd be at mom n dads in da afternoon, on da spot he hasta ask, they agreed...his expression was priceless, lol..more work,lol......LOL...afta da party i was wiped out, holy furk...me, timmy, chris n alex had a 2 hour nap,lol...then hell by dat time it was bedtime fer da kids,lol...

mothers day started off wiff..well..ummm i got a present but of course a kid decides to check in at da top of da landin to see iffen i'm up...lol...hey i was quiet damnit...we got up n they were so excitd to give me muh presents...cakie gave me some fake flowers fer muh dinin room table (dat i picked out,lol)...chris gave me some plants they had been preparin at school (he doesn't know wut they are, they aren't labeled so ummmm i guess i jus plant em,lol)...alex gave me a laminated bookmark he made at school with a card he made....n timmy gave me da locket i had picked out fri. night,LOL...it is a photo album locket so it holds 4 pictures (which da movie star did n added to it as i was nappin sat. night) n it says mom on da front...got countless hugs n i love yous then it was off to da shower while da movie star prepared breakfast...lol...i did help when i got out,lol...they all came ova n we all ate...then knowin we were goin out they left shortly after...we weren't leavin fer 4 hours so wut did i do?..well i napped, lmao...me n chris took a 2 hour nap on da couch,lol...i dunno wuts gotten into me lately i jus wanna sleep...then it was time to head up to mom n dads...movie star assembled da armoire, we bs'd...kids played with grandpa n looked fer rabbits in da yard, we ordered pizza, made ice cream sundaes then bs'd some more,lol...the kids went into their screenhouse which they think is their fort,lol...n gary n i headed to da couch..no folks, lol, not at mom n dads,lol...wut did i do?..lmaoooo i laid down n napped fer a lil bit...knowin we hadda get the crew ready fer school we hadda go so we packed up da sweet pickles bus n went home...i got a nice cotton candy lotion body massage n well dat always leads to more so umm yeah,lol...

lets see wut else?..well i'm exhausted, lmaooo...i'm not nappin yet but geez i wanna...maybe its cuz, n bro cova yer eyes....i been havin a whole helluva lotta sex lately...holy furk...i dunno wuts gotten into him,lol...maybe its da fact dat i toss in lil comments like...its gettin old..n callin him on neva bein horny, n sayin i dare ya...stuff like dat,lol...the its gettin old comment was hilarious...dat was after two nights in a row then da mothers day present, lmaoooo...imma evil bitch, lol....oh n sunday while goin up to mom n dads i was a mess, all stuffy headed n shit, i have a cold n i HATE havin colds...i'm like "no more sex"...n he's like "yes more sex.."...this afta da its gettin old comment, lmao...so i'm like.."ok more sex, this way i won't be sick anymore, i'll transfer it"...he shoots me a look.."yeah i really feel the luv here in this relationship"...LOL..."wuts dat?...LMAO...n to think we've had sex a bunch more times since then..i'm STILL sittin here all stuffed up wiff a sinus headache....i'll keep tryin...lol...cuz i'm nice like dat...

ok furk me gently wiff a chainsaw...where da hell iz muh sun?...i'm runnin outta time fer da weddin...its soooooooooo humid, i'll prolly be peelin off clothes by 3pm...but no sun...looks like it could storm at anytime, n we all kno how much i HATE storms, i'm da chick who takes da kids to da basement when i hear thunder, LMAO...i'm a scaredy cat when it comes to those furkers, i saw Wizard of Oz......scarred me fer life...anywho they said it'd be sunny n they lied..BASTARDS..

hmmm lemme see...ohhhhhhhhhhhhh i picked out wut i'm gonna do to da kitchen..gonna be a creamy yellow type suede style paint wiff an apple border that jus screams country,lol...dat in conjunction wiff da woodfloorin n da new appliances will jus look way awesome...told ya i'm gettin all martha stewart,lol...i was told by danny dat his dad has da floor plans all done jus waitin on da movie star...i swear i thought it'd be done by now,lol...muh van reaks of wood cuz they're in da back of da van...hmmm wut else?...i'm tryin to think here but i'm feelin da urge to go lay out in da sun...not like i'm gonna tho, i got 2 that aren't sleepin still n 2 more comin home in bout an hour...its furkin hot tho...furk,lol...lisa jus left...yes folks i've been doin dis in spurts,i know i said it was overcast but now its sunny,lol......she was here n was cravin hot dogs so we went out fer lunch came back n i listened to her bitch bout bein majorly uncomfortable fer bout 2 hours, lmao...is it ova yet?..lol plz god let tonight be da night,lol...she's miserable,lol...gawd...

thinkin dats bout all fer now...i gotta go pee then i can chill fer awhile..goin pee these days is always an adventure...i've lately had da luxury of being able to close da door...so i'm in there yesterday n timmys peekin in da keyhole...says..."mom?..u wear underder?..."..not gonna lie i say..."no hunny i don't..."...finish washin muh hands n i open da door..." u don't?"...again..."no hunny..."...n i laff...he starts crackin up n runs away yellin..."cadie...cadie..mommys naked under hers clothes"...LMAO...too funny...n hellfire...saturday i'm walkin round in muh girly boxers n tank top...chris looks at me kinda grinnin (lil perv)..he's like "mom, are u wearin yer underwear?"...i said "yeah..u guys do it why can't i?..."...LOL...on dat note....i'm outta here...lol...ttyl

coopy

i'm all exhausticated n shit....

n well ya know imma slacker, lol...i forgot totally bout da coopy mail..put it off til tonight then had company come so i couldn't sit n type...muh best friend n her fiance were here, she brought muh shoes n i gave her the candles she ordered from me...i rented wild things 2 too n we watched dat afta da kiddoes went to bed....good movie, awesome 3 way scene i was all horned up,lol...attacked da movie star n well here i am typin...

been a busy week...spawn class last week sucked hard...freakin wench girl adrianna took sumfin from cakie while i was gluin unicorns on U fer chris, n she started screamin n carryin on...grrrr dat damn girl...i contained composure but in muh mind i was ringin her lil neck...as fast as i got to school i left...i was on a hunt fer cream ya know,lol.....n omg b4 we left da house all hell broke loose with timmy n cakie...pulled muhself away from da pc to see that they destroyed muh livin room....10 minutes late we made it out da door...n when we got to school i realized i forgot muh wallet at home n i hadda get da cream ..FURK...n i swear to da almighty i said dat...i scrounged all da change i could find in da van...a whole $2.25....lol...after school we went to da market where i got HALF da cream i needed fer dat amount n then we went home..i improvised n it turned out fine,lol...
good news is dat i'm exempt from spawn class fer da next few weeks...ya see....lisa called me yesterday n dr gates examined her yesterday n she's 1 cm....cervix is soft too..we havin a baby soon,lol...she in no way will wait til da end of da month so here i sit on standby as fruit coach..sooo not lookin forward to lisa in labor...omg..she's such a bitch now it'll be worse then...i'm thinkin moms gonna wimp out...she couldn't even stand in da doorway watchin me in pain...she says she's older now but watch...she'll wimp out,lol..so it'll be me n lisa wiff da ice chips...it'll get ugly...i'm sure we'll be fightin,lol...she'll be sayin how much she hated dat when she was like 4 n da cops would come by with sirens on (growin up in da hood dats quite frequently,lol) i'd taunt her sayin "lisa...they're coming for you"...LOL...she was paranoid,lol...especially when my uncle would stop to visit in the cop car n uniform,lol...n if she starts her mouth i'll just fire back how embarrassing it was when i was 13 n 14 with my friends n she'd be out on da street humpin da fire hydrant...LMAO...anywho...lmfao it should be interesting...ya think?...gawd she keeps sayin she wants it over so bad...i'm thinkin i do too she calls me fer EVERY lil ache n pain.."darlene did this happen to u?"...gawd come on fruit da 4th...LOL..

last thursday was timmys first trip to da dentist..i was soo dreadin it...well a lil fyi..coopy would rather go through hard labor than go to da dentist......i get so freaked...dentists are right up there with bees,lol..i think sumfin happened to me when i was a wee one at da dentist but til i go thru hypnosis i'll neva know,lol...when i go its a month of freakin n i'm in n out like lightnin,lol...so here i am wiff timmy n cakie...about 30 minutes early ..n we're in da waitin room...not being a kiddie dentist there aren't any toys to play with and a handful of highlights magazines that timmy could give two shits about,lol...so here he is switching every lightswitch in da waitin room...n i'm seein lights goin off in da back of da joint, lmao...i'm like "timmy!!!"...the receptionist laughed but they were gettin pissed after bout da 8th time he did it,lol....finally we go in..he was great..got his lil cleanin, then doctor slurpee came in n double checked him...indians freak me out no matter who or where they are, i'm always afraid i'm gonna run into one i've pissed off in yahoo,lol...i made their next appt. then we were off to get home

so after 2 weeks muh hair started gettin lighter again ...i made da movie star slop me up (not slurp but dat too,lol) wiff dye again...da next damn day i head down to da busstop n i was talkin to muh neighbor tellin him i hadda do it again...n hes laffin sayin i wanna be a redhead..we get down to da actual busstop n on his porch sittin down hearin us comin muh other neighbor chimes in "i love it, it's an adventure from day to day... i never know who is coming to the busstop, cuz of her hair" ...bastard, lmao then da other one says "well what IS yer natural color?"...i'm like well...haven't seen it in awhile....smartass chimes in..."well does da carpet match da drapes?"...gawd....i fire back..."u'll hafta go by muh eyebrows then cuz i'm packin hardwood floors..."...LOL...they both were in shock it usually doesn't get like dat, we usually bitch bout our spouses, lmao...was pretty quiet after dat....lol...

thursday night we're sittin round, kids are jumpin all around, smackin each other n screamin n shit...n da movie star n i are jus sittin back watchin...n from time to time hearing 2 seconds of audio from da t.v...this commercial comes on fer a menopause test kit....OMG, i started rollin...gary i swear thought i lost muh mind fer real this time...i'm crackin up n trying to talk sayin how stupid is that...then i started thinkin about the actual word MENOPAUSE...omg i was dyin...i wish ya'll coulda seen n heard me...i was cryin n tryin to talk to say what was so funny n i'm crackin up, n garys lookin at me like imma total fruitloop, lmao...wuz funny..hadda be here i guess, lol...

market night wasn't too much to speak of...we hit home depot first so hubby could rent da wood chipper..i'm tellin ya girls...go hang out in home depot, omg da hot guys go there...furk me i was lovin da eye candy...LOL...saturday he was up by 7 a.m n chippin wood, holy furk dat thing was loud...dat went on most of da day so i just cleaned da inside while he did his thing outside...pretty lazy day,lol...

sunday mom came to get me about 10 a.m....i got balloon duty fer da bridal shower so we hadda stop n get em b4 we headed out to da restaurant...so we get to da balloon place, no bridal shower ones left ...i hadda settle fer just married, LOL...i'm like whatever...then after walking in da wind to da car in muh dress clothes fightin these balloons (which i'm sure was a sight to behold)..15 minutes later we have em in da car so mom can still see,lol...n we were off...took a wrong turn but thankfully got back on da right track,lol...found da place n went in...when she got there she was totally surprised n it was a fun time...i was starin down some blonds tank top most of da time,lol...she was hot...gotta ask eileen about her sometime ...then when it came to presents i had da joy of handin em to her...i was pickin up grills, n ceiling fans, n tents n all kindsa heavy shit..told her i'm sendin her muh hernia operation bill...that was good fer a chuckle from da crowd,lol...after da shower mom dropped me off at home n the kids were so excited to show me dat daddy rearranged da living room like i been buggin him to do ...i was excited,lol...he watched all 4 kids, took them on a brief outing by himself n had time to rearrange da furniture...i was impressed, i paid him well fer it,lol..hadda get da kids ready fer school then i spent alotta dat night into monday redecoratin candles, n pictures n flowers n such..looks good now...

just in time fer cakies birthday party this saturday...its lookin like its gonna pour on saturday so i'm thinkin we're gonna be stuck in da house,lol...we'll have some family n then all hubbys friends..this is da first of da kids birthdays without pat so it'll be hard but i'm sure he'll be here...watchin his brother from above n tellin him not to touch muh ass,lmao...cakies so excited fer her big day tho..can't wait...watch lisa will go into labor at da party,lol......sunday is mothers day yayyyy...i have NO idea wut they have planned...i'm thinkin gary will weasel into da kitchen to do da wood floor tho...lmao...he did get da stuff sunday, lol dat was da lil outing wiff da kids...come on he cannot leave a project or sumfin in a box so i'm bettin he'll make use of sunday...lol..its k...i'm fer it...n i'm not cookin on mothers day so more power to him,lol..

wut else?..hmmm....well tomorrow night is da kids spring concert at school...kinda nervous leavin mom here wiff timmy n cakie in case sumfin happens wiff lisa, yikes...so keep yer fingers crossed she doesn't go then....mom told me that at lisas shower, her work friends were debating muh age all night...lol...oldest they could come up with was 23...lol...moms like nope she's 28...i'm like woohoo 23 i'm gettin up there,lol...hmmm...oh i found out chris' kindergarten graduation is june 23rd...i immediately called muh motherlesbianinlaw n told her, to which she replied.."oh no i'll be away fer vacation"......now she has serious guilt but can't change anything...i told her i'd try to video it, n she promised she do sumfin special with him too...still tho this sux, i wanted to have a lil cake fer him dat night but nooooo i gotta wait 4 days til she gets back ...anywho...lol..ahhh i got a sitter fer da weddin...movie stars goin now,lol..he'll warm up to da idea eventually,lmao..she brought me muh shoes tonight too, they look good purple..she then proceeded to tell me that the aisle we are walkin down is long as hell, like double what mine was n mine was long...FURK...muh heels are a good 5 inches...so i'm like ok but you'll have a runner right?..."no we aren't"...FURK..ok i'm just gonna admit it now i'm gonna fall flat on muh furkin face goin down this aisle...told gary goin back up wouldn't be bad cuz i'll have an escort n iffen i go down i'm takin him out wiff me, LOL...i'll have major anxiety over this damn wedding coming shortly i'm thinkin...gonna try not to think bout it til then..gonna focus on fruit da 4th fer now...lol...hey, at least no gravy in labor, lol...

k its late n i'm tired...nite all hugzzz n gropes n shit...i'll hopefully have funny stories from da party to relay next week, til then..l8ters t8ters...

coopy