muh life fer yer viewin pleasure..

n another case of da ole' coopy carpel tunnel...well no notes to cheat off this week either sooooo MAYBE (yeak ok,lol) not that bad...lol...

k well....da kiddoes are still drivin me insane wiff da damn tony hawk ps2 game...we've now added another song to da playlist...alls i kno iz dat it has da word fornication in it n they are startin to sing dat...not good...motherlesbianinlaw will shit a golden ticket iffen cakie spurts those lil syllables out...(again..furk muh spellin,lol)..aside from dat i'll be doing the back to school shoppin this week or next..(*walkin thru da aisles wiff muh cart singin like dat guy in da Staples commercial*.."it's da most wonderful time of da year".....LOL)...one lil setback tho, chris' lil oompa loompa lookin friend devin is in da OTHER first grade class...bummer but its all good i assured chris mommy has absolutely no brains at all n i'd love to have devin come hang out as much as they want to see each other...after all whats jus 1 more kid???.......it's all good tho, they still have da bus, n gym, n lunch together...remember alex went thru this chit too...n lived,lol...still in therapy, da damn tulip..., but lived,lol....

okies well...i get a call on well i think it was wednesday (funny how when ya have no life everyday jus blends wiff da next huh?..LOL)...its lisa...she's on her cell phone leavin school n tells me she found a flyer fer a chris cagle concert in november...so i'm like cool, we're goin...then she puts me on speakerphone, i hear da fruit ...i'm like "where ya'll goin?"...she says.."oh we got a check from aunt flo (LMFAO not DAT aunt flo!!!!!, i wish she'd pay me, damn wench takes enuff O positive from me..) n we're gonna go get anthony (kiwi) a few more outfits"..to which dat furkin peckerhead chimes in.."yeah i'm gonna use my employee discount again"......i could feel muhself gettin worked up, da bloods boilin.."u kno thats stealing?..n you're doing it with your son in your presence?"...of course he insists its not stealing n worse thing they can do is not give it but come on...i may not have any clink smarts and yes i've dyed muh hair fer far too many years but i'm not stupid....fer da rest of da day i was in such complete disgust, disbelief n depression...i seriously see a world of hurt coming on, n there isn't one damn thing i can do about it...can't bring it up to certain people cuz they brush it off, n iffen i bring it up anymore to them god knows they'll be offended n that'll be a world of shit...i'm sure i'd get more than gravy thrown at me...i do have da movie star tho...n as biased as he is at not likin da fruit he has been tryin fer me...n he knew i was upset...da man took me in his arms...like lovingly...lol..i didn't kno what to do ...he continued to be mushy all nite...was really nice to have again but seriously weirded me out at da same time,LOL...thursday he comes home from work n i was at da stove cookin dinner...he comes right in the door, puts his keys down n comes over to the stove n hugs me n kisses muh head..i shit u not...i turned around n..."  wtfurk iz wiff da affection?"...LOL..he rolled his eyes n said sorry,lol...he's still doin it here n there...there's more to dat story, unless he has a guilty conscience still from a cpl weeks ago,lol...i am kinda mean n have a tendency to keep it goin,lol...hey i still furk tho,lol...

friday i call motherlesbianinlaw at work..i ask her since we aren't shoppin til saturday night, could she pick me up a few things to tie us ova....(friday night was da football game n concert)...so i ask her to get bread n sunny D (timmys lifeline)...ok now this woman enters muh home wiff 4 bags..then turns around n goes back to da car fer 4 more...i swear to jesus mary n st. ralph dat woman got us everything from garbage bags to fried chicken..LMAO..about 6 different fruits a chef salad (cuz cakie likes it )...pizza, string cheese, soda, yogurt, oh n yeah..bread n sunny D ...always one up'in me dat one iz......so anywho..da G man comes home n we sat around a bit b4 we hadda go to da game...alex tryed pansy'in out but da movie star kinda guiltin him into goin...we get down to da arena, get inside n well...it was 2 1/2 longggggggggggggggg hours of only half knowin wut da furk i was watchin, lol...gary knows no sports so he's worse than i am...i was self conscious dat da guy next to me wuz eyein down muh tank top..so i kept pullin it up,lol...i had an awesome seat tho fer viewin da dance team on our side...wowzers...i kept nudgin gary.."short blond hair, kinda curly"...then next half i was sayin.."black pom poms..." ...oh n the molson booty squad girls weren't half bad either...holy furk,lol...ok at bout 10 da game finally ends, we won, always good to have da home team win...alex n chris are like.."time to go?"...FURK NO BOYS.....montgomery gentry wuz holdin a concert after...anotha 30 minutes n they take da stage..they were awesome...eddie is one crazy furker bouncin all ova dat stage...chris finally got into it n started singin along wiff me...gary tryed gettin me to leave b4 they sang hell yeah or my town but i was like..UMMM NO!!!...LOL...an hour lata it wuz ova, we headed home...now mind u its like 11:30 n i'm starvin...i tell da movie star to stop by wendy's fer me...we pull in n there's no lie, 8 cars ahead of us..he gets attitude, i'm like jus go, i'll have turkey n pickles at home,lol...he says no i'm already here.."wtfurk iz this really bout?"...he then says.."jus pisses me off ya never wanna eat wendys when i do, but i'm here now cuz u want to"......"ok asshole..."..i say in muh nicest tone.."i'd love to go to pizza hut, or say...burger king even...but ya see, its after 11...n well...THEY AREN"T OPEN"......dat wuz bout nuff said, LMAO...he started to say something but i cut him right off laffin n sayin.."are we really arguin over da wendys late night window?...lol"...he got da point...by this time the only person workin was jus way too effin slow n it was like 5 minutes to tomorrow so i told him to jus go..his mom was waitin n he hadda work saturday mornin...i survived even wiffout turkey n pickles,lol...

saturday was muh cleanin day, lisa came ova at 7 dat night so we could go shoppin, figured we'd give motherlesbianinlaw da time off since she pulled double time da nite b4...lol..then when we got home she was there anywho,lol...go figure...she wuz jus visitin tho........anywhoooo,lol...i put da kids to bed early on account of da christenin da next day...movie star n i watched a movie n i got a lil tetris,lol....

well sunday mornin i got no wake up call...da hubby was out mowin da lawn on account of someone coming to see da truck on da lawn ...so being that we hadda leave by 11:30, i got up at 8:45...damn kids wtfurk they lettin me sleep fer?..LOL...so i'm flyin round' da house (not literally..lol) i'm gettin cakie into her first set of clothes, jugglin breakfast, a shower n ironin (who says i can't multitask) as well as referee'in da kids n makin sure the clothes they finally put on their bodies afta tellin em to get dressed fifteen times are actually clean n that they match......so here i am ironin cakies second set of clothes, her cute lil precious moments overall dress wiff da satin'ish ruffle on da bottom..don't i burn a furkin hole in da effin ruffle.....so i call da movie star in to play damage control n he says to me laffin.."good to see we can domesticate ya"...furker ...we ended up cuttin off da ruffle on da dress but she was still cute...we're all ready by 11:15 n i say..."let's go we gotta stop n get da card too"..(last minute I KNOW FFS)...he says.."i told them we weren't goin til 11:30 so we're stayin til then".....i hadda say sumfin, lol...u kno me....lol...so i go.."they prolly drove by it n saw filing cabinets on it n sped off".....he looks at me as i'm laffin n says.."really that'll be enuff outta u.."...AS IF!!!!..LOL...he'll never get dat lucky,lol...i'd have him re-thinkin all dat affection yet i tell ya, lmaoo....ok at da church (afta we drove around fer 5 minutes lookin fer da damn place..it wasn't on da road lisa said it was..which wuz MY fault of course, LOL)...we get in, n i swear to jesus mary n st. ralph dat there hadda be like a gazillion people in this church dat prolly held like a hundred, i mean people are upstairs in a balcony....theres no altar...its set up wiff a left n right side, a middle, n a stage in front of da middle part..wtfurk???....anywho there's 5 baptisms OH JOY, n sir grunts alot is in rare form...lol...i meet da fruits dad...OMG, i couldn't help but stare..da man has one jet black eyebrow n one dirty blond eyebrow..LMFAO..i hadda bite muh lip to stop from laffin,lol..now mind u i'm in church n i'm cursin everywhere n everything, lol...we get thru most of da lil service n then its water time...now fer this we gotta all 5 families go into DA HALLWAY to the "water table"......i swear ta god findin me in dat sea of people wuz like "where's waldo"...thank god it wuz ova quick...i hadda lite a candle n get da paperwork n we were outta there...kids were good tho, even considering i hadda sit on da otha side of this clusterfuck of a church..lol.......next wuz da christening party back at da fruits parents house...they hadda tent set up in back, a volleyball net out front, horseshoes...n rolling hills...lol, no pool, no swings, no nuffin fer kids but..ROLLING HILLS,lol...so dats wut muh kids did..lol..they had a blast tho, a cpl other kids there, they had enuff food to feed dat church's congregation (lets jus say cakie wuz happy,lol)...lotta just bs'in...catchin up wiff gram n dad, meetin his family who are about da most straight laced peeps eva n no they do NOT talk all stupid da way their son does.."ya kno?" ...i still gotta fruit lingo fer yall someday,lol...or betta yet have gary do it, lmfao...da movie star wuz gettin tanked n talkin tools n chit wiff da fruits dad, then comes back to our table n is bs'in wiff muh dad.."tony" (fruits dad)...(sidenote*..gary has this joke he told danny.."why are most italians called tony?...cuz when they got off da boat at ellis island they all said TO-NY..LOL..*) comes ova n announces volleyball is startin...i'm in heels n a skirt it's not happenin fer me...but gary says.."ok i'm in"......this man doesn't play sports...i say.."u?...playin volleyball?..must be the alcohol "...to which he looks at muh dad n says.."i think yer daughter needs her ass kicked"...n dad laffs n says.."i think you're right.."......FURKERS, LMAO...he did go play volleyball tho, n i'm glad he had fun, i jus sat watchin droolin ova da fruits cousin who i had da biggest furkin crush on in hs....he wuz on da otha team, no shirt on ...gawd help me,lol...i dodged walkin past him or gettin too close at all costs,lol...da fruit already told him b4 dat chickie dat drooled ova him in hs wuz lisas sister, lmao......after volleyball we had da cake...poor fruits aunt, she's going around givin out cookies, i look down at katelyn n say.."cake..u wanna cookie?"..his aunt turns around n says to me.."the cake is coming around too"..LOL..i tell her i call katie "cake" n she wuz like "oh"....i hadda get outta there n soon,lol....so afta cake (da dessert cake dat is) we headed out...on da way out we ran right into da crush who shook hands wiff da movie star...then looked at me n smiled n said hi... embarrassement to da ninth power squared AND cubed...LOL...he looks at all da kids n says.."4?"...movie star laffs n says  yup...n he looks at me again n says.."wow"..LOL...ok i'm LEAVING now..LOL...ahhh wuz good to be home again,lol..

aside from slicin muh finger open tryin to get into a cardboard box, lol ohhhh n gettin a postcard sayin chris' football practices start next monday night (here comes da fun)...n ummm well a last minute phone call (wut else?) from da fruit disguisin his voice as.."da boogieman"..wtf?.....askin me iffen i'd mind babysittin sir grunts alot while they went to their appointment wiff da photographer ...n me, i say of course...of course,lol...dat's really bout all...i'm sure theres lil funny stupid chit but i'm jus not rememberin fer nuttin right now...so you'll hafta jus deal, lol......now i must go n lower the volume on the DAMN tony hawk ps2 game before i cry...THIS IS MUH LIFE!!!...l8ters t8ters...ohhh n i really prolly should call muh mom n wish her a happy birfday,lol...hey..i gave her cards to lisa last night at least..first time i was on time fer sumfin in a long time, lol...be proud of me,lol...buh byeeee now....

                                                             coopy

jus anotha week in muh life...

i sooooooooooo don't feel like typin today, lmao...we'll see...lately i'm thinkin i have attention deficeit (furk muh spellin) disorder...nuttin seems to keep da ole attention anymore...must be a phase,lol...

anywho...ok well monster trucks..remind me next year it's a male bonding thing, lmao...after takin cakie over to motherlesbianinlaws house, we get out in east jesus bumfuck 2 hours b4 da show (its always packed n we get shitty seats every year so goin early was da "best thing" )...we walk in its bout half packed, i ran into muh best gf from 9th grade we chatted fer a bit then i got da evil "hurry da furk up eyes "from da movie star..lol...so we go off in search of room fer da whole pile of us, muh clan, his friend pete (AGAIN) n his daughter sammie, n then his other buddy rich n his annoyin furker of a 10 year old son ryan...gawd help me,lol...so we sit down after gary goes from one end to da other lookin fer da best seats......n we chilled out fer 2 hours...during which we all donned these gawd awful yellow poncho thingies when it began to pour upon us...we were soaked, i mean wtfurk!!!...i wuz so un-interested at this point...they had NO cotton candy, i wuz soaked, the only entertainment i had during those 2 horrendous hours were the man with one tooth behind me slurrin all kindsa know it shit about monster trucks n holdin timmy fer dear life cuz in my mind he wuz gonna be sucked between the bleechers n fall onto da ground wiff all da garbage n empty beer bottles...fer da luv ..ok so it's SOOO muddy by the time da show started dat it kinda really sucked...timmy wuz in heaven tho, he wuz dyin to see gravedigger...gettin outta there afta da show wuz interesting to say da least as well..people everywhere...poor chris was walkin wiff me n shiverin so bad cuz it got cold n he wuz soaked...when we finally got back to da van, we stayed in da parking lot about 15 minutes til there wuz room to get out...during this time i gave chris muh extra sweatshirt dat wuz in da van n timmy demanded my sweatshirt off muh body, lmao...so here i am freezin in a white tank top,lol...peter handed me a towel, isn't he sweet, lol...n i hadda piss sooo furkin bad, i coulda went to da woods but i wuzn't walkin way back to da woods..then da movie star decided to go between da cars.....i couldn't do dat near da kids, lol...so i suffered,lol...we finally got out n we went to get cakie then home we went..remember..next year...MALE bonding...

once again peter came thursday n took alex n chris, this time they were goin to da movies to see harry potter...i wuzn't gonna complain gave me half da silience...lol...he says.."u look about as interested right now as ya did last night at da monster trucks...only last night ya looked like ya wanted to kill yerself..lol"..lmao idiot...

friday, no peter, no sir grunts alot dat night, n a smooth shoppin night, timmy wuz in a hatin mood yet again n gave it to motherlesbianinlaw but this week she didn't take it to heart, lmao...

FURK...i need ginko...i haven't written nuttin down in foreva, i can't remember crap dats happened...anywho, i think saturday wuz purty boring too..kids stayed here n annoyed da furk outta me playin dat damn tony hawk ps2 game...muh damn kids know everyword of dat damn ac/dc song tnt...they sing along, omg it kills me....cept timmy..in his lil voice its.."cuz i'm ENT..dynomite...."...lmao....too cute, yet very annoyin, lol...i rented a few movies saturday n dats bout all...we chilled...

sunday started wiff breakfast of course, then we got ready to go up to mom n dads fer da cookout...movie star told me we needed to stop by wal-mart to get the older boys new sneakers..wuteva, lets go,lol...at wal-mart we're walkin in n past da snack bar, right out front is a stand wiff all kinds of cotton candy on it...i grab one, movie star looks at me n says..."u kno they won't get any, might as well get em each one fer dat kinda money"...so muh eyes light up,lol.."here timmy u get orange...here chris u get purple, here cakie u get pink, n here alex u get blue"...we're all walkin round n the 4 kids have these huge tubs of cotton candy in their hands, lol..otha parents musta looked at us like.."omg thats alotta sugar, those parents are NUTZ"..LOL...back at da van they were all open n half gone by da time we got to mom n dads,lol...muh dad bought a new computer so da movie star went right to settin it up n gettin it runnin fer him, i made out an avon order, n we jus sat n waited fer da company...i wuz informed sir grunts alot is outta 0-3 months n had lil clothing so lisa n da fruit wiff da kiwi went to (a certain we'll keep dis department store a secret fer well...read on...LOL)...n then they'd be back...k wuteva...ohh sidenote...muh 2 month old nephew is teething already n has a molar coming in, really really weird but i guess accounts fer da fussiness huh?..lol...soooo...we're sittin around, muh aunt comes, n a friend of moms n we're all bs'in...now in comes lisa n the baby, wiff da fruit in tow...he then opens his super stupid accent havin mouth n tells everyone there that at this certain department store..(sidenote*..this is da same store he stole 3 grand in merchandise from n turned around n resold it, to which he got caught n went to da clink jus recently...)...he whipped out his employee card n had da cashier give him an employee discount ...OMG...i wuz in shock at the audasity of this no brain havin piece of shit talkin asshole to still possess his employee card but to use it?...wow n them fer not updatin their records, but this asshole is laffin bout it, n lisa wuz right there n let him ...i hadda leave da room...stupid piece of shit......we had a nice visit wiff muh cousin n her kids, cakie wuz in heaven to see lil girls wiff lil ponytails in their hair walkin into the house,lol...she actually played n didn't wanna cling to muh side..MUCH ...we all ate n pretty much filtered out a group at a time,lol...at muh moms she has these blocks n her mantel ova da fireplace n they spell out.."home sweet home"..well me bein da character i iz,lol...i always change em when i go..usually to.."hoe sweet hoe"...sunday i wanted different,lol...so gary choreographed...at ne point it said.."he wet homo"...lmao..but it wuzn't lookin good to me so afta much trial n error i finally decided on.."EWE HOMO"...LMAO...i wuz dyin but damnit she saw it b4 we left, lmao...she says.."u ass..leave my blocks alone"..lol...we left, came home n watched a stupid movie,lol...

alex had me taxi him to his friends house yesterday, dats gettin annoyin havin to go back n forth fer a 4 hour visit,lol...but he wuz happy...earlier dat mornin when all the kids were playin timmy decided to "give" alex his lil stuffed beanie babie monkey he's named "Junior"...now junior iz timmys best friend, goes everywhere wiff him n sleeps wiff him...alex leaves fer his friends, n timmy decides he wants junior back i told alex he'd want it back ...at da house timmy n i search fer junior n couldn't find it fer nuffin, he's cryin, i'm thinkin alex hid it on him so i tell him alex will get it when he comes home..ok...so alex comes home n suddenly has a headache..i tell him he hasta find junior or else..he looked fer like an hour while chris annoyed me some more wiff tony hawk..lol..alex couldn't find it...by now i'm cookin dinner, gary comes home, n phone rings...its lisa.."can u babysit til like 10:30, we wanna go to a friends house"... sure np...now mind u folks, they do live wiff both muh parents, n my house is oh about 30 minutes away ...uhhuh...anywho, i'm playin nice...lol...kids go to bed, poor timmy wiff no junior, he says.."he's cryin somewhere"...i'm lookin at alex like.."hows dat make ya feel?..."..furkin kid...lil sir grunts alot fell asleep after i sang him shania twain songs....i'm thinkin he either likes muh singin orrrrr...hadda fall asleep hopin i'd shup,lol.....this kid iz gonna live country music in muh care, lmaoo...his damn piece of work father is into dat headbangin skinhead, sadistic white supremascist garbage...come on he has a nazi tattoo on his upper back ..WHY ME????...n he walk around callin da baby his "lil viking" n sayin he's gonna be in a viking costume fer halloween..ova muh cold dead lifeless body.....can ya feel da luv?...lol...so movie star n i watched a movie,the baby slept n then they came to get him..da fruit asks me if i'd watch him fer an hour in da mornin so he can go to parole...i can't really say no so wut da furk?..lol...

so this mornin i had sir grunts alot..he slept da whole time again, no muss no fuss,lol...so here i am changin cakie..n she says.."i luv mango"... i reply.."well sumone hasta i guess"..LOL..she has a huge crush on him, it irks me,lol..

this week will prolly be anotha annoyin, rainy, cabin fever havin, boring week..only thing i have to look forward to is friday night iz the albany conquest football game wiff da montgomery gentry concert following...dat should be fun, da 2 oldest n da movie star n me..not sure where we're fittin in groceries but we'll manage...this sunday iz sir grunts alots christening...his side of da family n ours, DAT will be entertaining...lol...as fer anything else well hmmm...we have a six flags outting da following sunday n then in da middle of august iz when they're all goin campin...coopy doesn't "camp"...so i'll be home wiff cakie female bonding n prolly shoppin,lol...we did dat last year...jus me n her, tis pure heaven,lol...n then a cpl more weeks later..BACK TO SCHOOL...(hearin angels singin already) ...kk tis time fer muh "30 minute meals" show then muh GH...tty all l8ters,lol..

coopy

p.s. BTW I found "Junior" first thing this mornin while alex wuz whinin dat he had looked everywhere n givin me attitude sayin he couldn't find it..i looked ova timmys dresser n he had fallen behind..i got him n rubbed it in alex's face.."timmy u can ALWAYS rely on mommy"......i'm da chit fer mom, lmao....timmys soo happy now tho, he hugged him tigt, wrapped him in his "where are yous" (his blankee)..n put him on da recliner...

hot, sweaty, wild...uhhuh..

dat about sums up countryfest, lmao...now dat i have yer attention ...

well lets see, kids are still drivin me crazy, i'm already thinkin bout grabbin registration forms fer summa camp fer next year, furk this,lmao..they may look at me like.."um lady?..dats NEXT year'..n i'd respond.."and?...."...LOL...

friday...motherlesbianinlaw came ova n we headed off to da store..well movie star heads in anotha direction.."where da furk ya goin "..."i'm goin to da otha store this week"..ok peeps remember da "otha store"...is motherlesbianinlaws competitors store,lol..oh twas gonna be a fun night..but hey...variety iz good...we get home n unload n omg da look on her face..lol, ya could tell she wuz pissed but oh furkin well,lol...well...on top of da fact dat da timminator iz in his "i hate u" stage...not good, she takes chit too seriously,lol...apparently he hated her dat night while we were out......so i'm puttin chit away n she tells me.."lisa called"..ok its about 7:30 so i'm thinkin she wuz gonna ask me sumfin bout countryfest da next day so i call up...da fruit answers..."we were wondering if you'd be willing to babysit"...me= .."tonight?..now?"..."yeah in bout 30 minutes..we'd like to go see a movie"..."uhhuh sure c'mon ova"...i tell da movie star n he says.."i'm sensing a pattern"..LOL...they get to da house n bring him in n leave..he wuz mr fussypants as per norm but wuzn't too bad...kids went to bed n da movie star n i were jus hangin out gettin ready fer taxicab confessions..(i kno i kno, this poor child being exposed to all this crap, first da blood n gut movie now this smut,lol...hey this is me!!!..LOL)..all of a sudden i see a car in da driveway..they were back,lol..apparently it wuz too late fer da movie so they hung out wiff us fer a lil bit..i near choked on muh diet coke when da fruit asked da movie star iffen he could borrow some tool...i wuz sure gary would say no kno'in his convict record..but he surprised me n said yes..afta taxicab confessions they left

k well saturday mornin da movie star hadda work til noon...so i had lisa meet me at da house then cuz she wuz drivin...i called up muh friend eileen n she informed me she wuzn't goin afterall cuz her new hubby wuz grumpy,lol...imagine dat?...so as soon as gary got home we took off...in da car headin up there lisa told me how her n da fruit were fightin last night in a parking lot...(i furk in em/they fight in em..go figure!..lol)..i knew there wuz more to dat story,lol...n she told me how he took a job n iz startin this week...it's a start i spose'...anywhoooo...we get up to countryfest n it wuz jus chaos, we got there like 2 1/2 hours into it...there's people everywhere, i immediately spotted da cotton candy stand,lol...then we decided we would TRY findin a place to sit...we walked around fer bout 45 minutes, i thought i'd be fryed to a crisp..neva rains on countryfest, its always a sun baked time,lol...we found a nice lil spot near a tent but we were on da otha side of the screen n this wuz crucial to lisas existence dat we be on da same side as it..so we mosey'd along thru oh bout 20,000 people give er' take a few thousand...lol..we find anotha spot but dat wuzn't good nuff either so we walked like right to middle far back..i wuz spent,lol...we laid our towels down n got a cpl waters since one stand wuz right near us..i decided i wuzn't even tryin to get food cuz the lines were bout 100 people deep n god forbid i need to pee those lines were bout 50 people deep..SHEESH,lol..so we're sittin there, n get a pic of this...we're on a walkway too...dat means lil coopy iz right on da end of a gazillion people walkin by...lotsa eye candy, muh gawd i neva seen so many tummy piercings or mens boxer short bands...holy furk i wuz happy..lol..WELL..til i got stepped on like 4 times, hadda coors light bottle whack me on muh shoulder, n had some beer spilled on me..hey dat's wut its all bout tho, lol..we sat there n sunned while josh gracin, craig morgan n terri clark sang...now during terri clark i look up da walkway at da strangers comin by...i notice muh ex (cop from muh town) walking straight up toward us...holy furk i swear muh blood pressure shot up...lol...lisas freakin out n i'm tryin to be calm....he walked right by..RELIEF..lol...he walked by anotha time too n since he's one to stare straight ahead he didn't notice us on da ground on da side...i wuz also informed by danny dat muh hair color isn't so "albino" anymore n he prolly wouldn't recognize me..wuteva,lol...i got up da ballz to approach him but lisa decided..."lets get closer to the stage fer keith"...no problem ...i had her wait a sec n i got muh cotton candy fix, only issue i had there wuz dat i asked fer pink n da furker gave me blue...oh well its all good, lol...so we walked up closer..by closer i mean we were within the area roped off as "inside"..we were still quite aways back..but we got a spot right in front of da coors light tent..gotta luv da drunks pourin outta there...n there wuz a bitch fight too...but we were starin at keith, u could see him but the screen wuz right there too, gawd dat man iz beautiful..furk i'd furk him good,lol...a cpl songs into his act i see this kid i recognize...he recognized me n then he motions to the guy in front of him.."hey robbie..".....now fer u furkers wiff no ginko biloba in yer life, robbie wuz da usher from da wedding...LOL...outta 20,000 people i run into him...well from dat point on we were glued to each others side talkin bout everything n ju catchin up..u guys only get da lame version,lol....brad paisley came on but by then lisa wuz burnt n uncomfortable..plus missin da mango n kiwi...(me schmoozin didn't help either,lmao)..took me like 15 minutes til i introduced her n she wuz standin right there,lol..brad paisley wuz awesome but we hadda get outta there..at that point robbies crew were leavin too so we all walked to da parkin lot..will coopy see him again?...yes she will ...dats all i'm tellin,lmao...so from countryfest we stopped at a diner cuz we were damn hungry, lol..i ate breakfast, lmao...lisa argued wiff da fruit on da cell phone n i daydreamed a bit,lol...then she dropped me off at da house n left..i wuz immediately attacked by ankle biters dat had mommy withdrawl, then it wuz kids to bed n attack da hubby...he can thank robbie fer dat session, lol...i wuz pretty spent so i made it an early night...

sunday, i called mom n asked her to come n trim muh hair..she came ova afta church...wiff lisa, fruit, n sir grunts alot...mom cut muh hair n trimmed cakies too...they stayed a lil while then headed out..at this point danny showed up...he comes up n puts his face on da screendoor n says.."i see he wuz jus here...who tipped them off dat i wuz comin".....he goes onto say.."well i know i'll cross his path at least 4 times a year fer birthdays..i luv da look lisa gets on her face when i'm here b4 her n she sees my truck..it's like terror n i luv it...hehehe"...he's so evil, LMAO...gotta luv him...n OMG i wish i coulda bugged da kitchen...i mentioned how da fruit calls lisa "toots"..n gary started mockin him n sayin how much he can't stand how he talks...danny immediately got into da "mango lingo"..n then i started, here's us 3 fools in da kitchen talkin as dumb as he does,lol..ask me fer a demonstration, omg it's too much......rest of sunday wuz pretty low key..dinner, laundry, chit like dat...

monday..dannys brother peter calls me n asks if he can take alex n chris to da museum wiff his daughter...i luv this time of da summer, he gets 2 weeks wiff her n he always takes muh 2 oldest..woohooo..so he comes n gets em..only problem wiff peter iz that he iz an arrogant ass who has a tendency to be touchy feely......he irks me n has had a talkin to in da past fer touchin me,lol...pat ripped him a new one once, lmao...he's been ok lately, a hug iz ok...he took da boys fer a few hours then came back...he sticks around tho, grrr...dat means i can't chat cuz he'd be all ova lookin round,lol...he informs me he wuz gonna take da kids to da zoo...now he did this last year, lmao..n christopher wuz attacked by 6 lambs n a pot bellied pig n climbed a rock in da petting zoo area LMAO..i said chris ya gonna be ok this year?..he says yes i'm 6 now...yeah ok,lol...but hey if peter wanted to take em...so be it,lol....he took em ovanight...

tuesday right around muh damn GH time...they come back..chris says..."i got scared by the lambs again"...peters like "".....so the kids play, n i'm sittin watchin GH...he goes onto say they were the first people there n how when they ate lunch the kids all decided to give their bread crusts to the peacocks...so 30 peacocks stormed them...LOL....then they opened some gate n chris went in..n down this hill 10 lama came chargin at him n he FREAKED...peter says..."it wuz a lama STAMPEDE"....LMAO...poor chris, then he wuz also attacked again in da petting area by the lambs...lol...n alex he says.."that kid iz the oldest but the SLOWEST kid in da world"...he hadda yell at him a cpl times along da way..n they played mini golf n he wuz so slow, n halfway thru it he wuz losing so he decided he wanted to quit..whereas peter says.."u will play or i will break yer arm"..LOL..so i'm crackin up, n agree'in on him being slow..pete says.."it's not jus da walkin da kids slow at, it's EVERYTHING..he eats slow, he dresses slow..."...i say.."well he'll make some woman very happy someday won't he?"...to which peter now missin a beat fires right back..."well probably not cuz he'll get halfway thru n quit..."u haven't cum yet?..geez i can't do this anymore i'm done".."...OMG i wuz in tears, it's so true, da kid iz exactly like dat...LMAO...so after GH (come on i gotta be annoyed thru da whole thing....especially while he critiques everyones performance, n ad libs, n tells me jus how he'd bang each chick on da show )...they finally left but he told me he'd be comin to get em this morning fer movies n snacks at his house..woohoo again..

soooo, here i am waitin fer him to get here n take em...timmys been up since 6 so he'll be sleepin early i think, n cakies jus in rare form,lol..tonight iz monster trucks n we'll be there most of da night, timmys excited, n cakies goin to motherlesbianinlaws house...mom called me n invited us up to da house fer a celebratory cook out, dads retired as of midnight woohooo,lol...can u say free babysitter?..lol..dat'll come in handy as da wheels in muh mind turn..LOL...muh cousin n her family are up from those southern parts so its a get together, i'm sure it'll be story-ful...lol..

well alrightyyyy then,lol...it's been like 5 minutes n the boys are off n thanks to me n muh mouth..peters taggin along to monster trucks wiff us tonight ...this should be fun,lol...ahh well...so now dats its jus me n da two lil ones i think i'll get semi-domestic n then get muh chat fix in fer da day...lol...ttyl..

coopy

ok ok..i kno...imma slacka...

jus be happy opal said sumfin bout lisa takin a poop,lol..dats how i remembered, lmao...i woulda fergot...damn i need some ginko biloba er' sumfin...now i gotta put off sex fer a bit..iffen this is short, you'll kno i gave in,lmao...

ok well lets see, ok last thursday i decided i'd take da kiddoes out fer lunch, they wanted spiderman 2 toys n da furkin closest burger king is like across da river like 25 minutes from me so i go off on muh lil trek wiff da kids in da van..n halfway there i got a brainstorm to request a song durin da lunchtime rush thingie on muh fave. station..hadda great email in muh mind too..so as soon as i'd get home i'd email em..i get to burger king, i'm boxed in da furkin drive thru, i order..now i'm used to me n da 2 lil ones, now i have da 2 older ones..all said n done wiff da lady says...ok $19.75 er sum chit..so i drive up a lil n realize i only have 16 bucks ...i'm boxed in n 25 minutes from home..ok furk me i'll jus take mine off at da window..i get up there n tell da dude, he wuz clueless...so this lil big lady comes ova n i tell her i only have 16 to jus take off mine..she does n it came to like $14...i give her $15..(followin me?..lol)...then she says ok i'll jus give ya da soda..i wuz like k, ty..she's like oh hell wiff it n gave me da whole thing..i was really impressed..i thanked her n wuz off...get home n write muh email while spiderman balls (4 of em) are being flung around muh livin room ...this was muh email..

heya,
It's been one week exactly since school let out and already i am pullin muh damn hair out..could u please play Trace Adkins..And They Do..i could really use some perspective..thx..
Darlene C.

so here i am listenin to da radio..eatin lunch n talkin in a box..(n u thought i couldn't multi-task..i can't, lmao..add anotha box n i'm furked..LOL)..the song comes on,lol..but no mention of name or email...damn...so i'm talkin in da box..then da songs ends...da dj comes on n iz laffin..he says da name of da song then.."omg i gotta read dis email"....i freakin in da box..poor box person got so many omg's i think he thought i wuz havin a heart attack,lmao..either dat er' i saw a bee in muh house, lmao..so da dj reads muh email on da air, n ends wiff muh name n "Darlene call me right back n i'll set cha up wiff a pair of countryfest tix, leave the kids at home"...OMG ...i called right back n omg i wuz soo excited..he was still laffin n gave me da hours to come pick up da tix..i called everyone tellin em i won..da movie star thought from da sound of muh voice dat one of da kids broke their arms...oops,lol...i wuz jus sooo happy...he didn't seem thrilled tho so i wuz like..furk!!...i called lisa...she neva been to countryfest so she wuz all ova dat ticket,lol...movie star wuz glad i found someone who would go..n i'm glad i did too cuz dat furker said iffen he had to go i'd be drivin...FURK DAT..it's muh day out, he isn't gonna furk it fer me,lmao..he wuz also glad it wuz free...his moto iz..."if it's free, it's fer me"......lata dat night..alex n chris left fer their sleepova at muh aunts house..only 2 kids..half of heaven,lol...but still no sex as of then, n i wuz turnin into a damn horndog...

friday, since i only had the 2 lil ones i decided i'd go pick up da tix from da station, n being dat fer me to go somewhere alone iz jus unspeakable i called lisa up n invited her..sure np she hadda get da kiwi ready then she'd be ova...she came ova n we took off fer da mall where da station iz located...found da station afta timmy christened da employees only ladies room..."mom i'm startin pee.."..words i cringe at....lol, i offered on da side of da van in da parkin lot but i think da kid has morals,lmao...so i get da tix from da secretary n dat wuz it..well..LOL...on da way out there's a poster fer countryfest, pics of all da artists performing.....i kissed da picture of keith urban on da way out...theres big ole lipstick lips on him,lol.....lisa wuz embarrassed..she yells.."Omg Darlene!!!"...me?..."Wut???"..LOL...furk i didn't care,lol...so anywhoooo...lol...back at da ranch lisa asks me iffen i can babysit dat night afta groceries while her n da fruit go see a movie..yup sure can,lol..then she left fer awhile..muh older brats came home n it wuz chaos once again...motherlesbianinlaw came n we headed to da store...got home jus as they were pullin in...they basically dropped him off n left...he is a serious mr. fussypants...wowzas he wuz hard to please,lol...but afta da house kinda calmed down a lil he settled in n stared at muh lined wallpaper, lmao...movie star n i were watchin a scary movie called Detour...really gay but hey, it's blood n guts, dats fer me...lol..at least muh nephew knos from da start his aunts a freak,lol...lisa n da fruit came n got him n left..

saturday i don't think we did a damned thing cept sit around n watch movies n play video games...lol...alex went to a party at his friends, ahh we did go to target so chris could blo his graduation money on anotha playstation game,lol...wuz bout it tho...purty quiet...hubby fell asleep on me afta insinuatin breakin muh lack of sex streak..furkin tease..so i woke his ass up n took him to bed..wuz jus once but hey..i wuz pleased,lol...had been too damn long...

sunday mornin wuz jus breakfast n baths...then we headed to church..(yes ALL of us )....fer muh cousin todds kids christening...man did i have anxiety ova timmy being in a church ...we're sittin there n i said to da movie star.."can we ask to have him baptized again, i think it wore off n da devil got to him.."...LMAO...afta da ceremony..timmy exclaims.."OK S'OVER"...lmao...it wuz loud...then we went to muh cousins chicks parents house..neva met any of these peeps in muh life, lmao...our side of da fam kinda jus sat together..fruit played wiff da kids runnin around n sword fightin em n stuff...i wuz eyeballin this long blond haired...(I KNO I KNO I DON"T DO BLONDS BUT DAYUMMM)...he wuz tan, no shirt on n DAYUMM...LOL..then chris decides he wants to see da dog inside, they had 2...so i go in n i'm talkin to lisa in da livin room...all of a sudden cakie's runnin wiff a look of OMG....n chris is SCREAMIN like a girl from this lil furkin hairy mop dog,lmao...chris iz cryin hysterically behind me, n wakin both da babies up, so i had words wiff him then sent him back outside,lol...it wuz like 90 out n so furkin hot..n at first their wuz like 7 kids there, next thing i knew they had multiplied bout 3 times so afta dinner we took off...got home in time fer a nap, yup me too,lol..then it wuz off to see fireworks..we go see da albany fireworks every year..motherlesbianinlaw goes to NYC but furk if we eva get dat invite,lol..i'm not bitter ...we have this lil parkin lot spot dats perfect so we went there...it wuz yer typical fireworks display..sorry peeps but it takes a lil more than colored lights in da sky to get muh juices flowin, lmao...we lost timmys attention, oh bout..10 minutes b4 da display, lol..cakie could care less, the non caucasian people next to our van were more interesting to her n i think da older boys were jus prayin it'd be ova so they could huddle up to da gameboys again,lol...

monday, yet again anotha boring day, i say this cuz hubby had da damn day off n any day he's here i gotta act interested in him being here, lmao....i did some of da domestic duties..laundry, cooked...clothed da nakie babes afta da swim, stuff like dat...mom n lisa stopped by afta their visit from da country club they had jus booked fer her weddin reception in 2006 ...ok folks..muh wedding n reception wee both held together in a hall fer 15 bucks a head...per head fer lisa n da convicts reception $79 ..WTF..crazy jus crazy..hellifiknow wuts goin thru moms mind, i wuz like , muh face stayed jus like dat fer a good 10 minutes no shit....alls mom could say wuz.."it's my last big hoorah"..WTF WTF WTFURK ...ok don't lemme git started, lmaoo...but WTF ..should i feel cheated?...oh n did i mention they want a "small" wedding...only 140 peeps...WTF ...i'm willin to bet dat'll be dads face too when mom decides to clue him in... WTFurk!!!!...ANYWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...lol...last night ended wiff a cpl mudslides n a holy furk sex session starrin da bunny n da lil mini massager vibe, lmao...wooooooooooo i'm still tinglin thinkin bout it,lol...i'm back in business ....ohhh n yes, i came to chat fer a bit too....lol...

today wuz back to normalcy..(AKA..hubby returns to work,lol)...as soon as da movie star came in he asked me iffen i had heard dat lisas transmission gave out on da fruit n dat wuz his new project at work......tis always sumfin..OMG OMG OMG...i didn't tells ya'll but dat lil furkin truck he got a cpl weeks back...well this rocket scientist who i swear thinks iz some kinda macgyver of vehicles well he took da bed off it,built anotha n added 2 (ya ready fer dis?)..FILING CABINETS..to either side of it as drawers fer chit..painted it n its on da lawn..along wiff da jeep.....da blazer is in muh neighbors back yard awaiting full project status b4 heading out there as well......dear lawd i said to da movie star.."between yer cars on muh lawn n timmys cars all ova muh house i can't win fer shit!"...so sad but so true...tis muh life...ahh well...i talked to muh gf eileen today, she said hawaii wuz great, n she'll be at countryfest too..asked me iffen i thought robbie wuz hittin on me at da weddin, lol...i said yup n iffen da hubby hadn't been there he had a great shot,lol...kk i'm gettin dat "look" so imma head on ova to da couch...i wuz sposed ta get started babysittin again this week but wiff her car outta comission he can't do temp work fer a cpl days, n i only have da baby on wed. n thursdays so next week i guess...ah well once again,lol...kk well i'll be back slackin again n sendin ya mail next week..hopefully some juicy countryfest details cuz i plan on gettin into some kinda trouble somehow...maybe sneak onto keiths tour bus?....oh furk me theres a good idea,lol..him n jax from gh..only 2 blonds dat i'd make an exception fer...ok maybe da shirtless guy from da christening party fer a one night stand..hmm ok theres a few blonds i'd do..but DEFINITELY NOT fabio..EWWW!!!...lmao...ok ok, tty in a bit...buh bye now...

coopy

i'm not gonna spellcheck cuz well dats jus not coopy,lol...n DAYUM...i have competition, da matrix iz on....ok i may hafta chat first sex lata,lol..