wut have we learned this week?....
1. lisa's baby is holdin out on me...
2. spur of da moment remodelization projects are a pain in muh arse...
3. 1 horrible tune from the past when sang at the wrong moment can really furk up a good sexual experience...
4. when shoppin fer paint..do not take along a color-blind man...
5. appliances bought on a whim should always be MEASURED before purchasing...
6. i have some pretty furked up dreams...
now dat i have yer attention.....kk...well yes...lisa still has not popped...last monday she lost 3 pounds, this monday she lost anotha 3...good fer her but dammit wheres muh baby?..lol...dr. gates said he hopes to see her b4 next monday...i'm not holdin muh breath anymore..furk...friday night da phone rang n i look at da caller id..it was lisa..i was like "woohoo we're havin a baby!"...i pick it up..nope she jus wanted to ask me some bs question bout some lil cramp,lol..oh n garys standin there goin " we're???"...LOL...i'm excited damnit...
i was informed 2 things last week afta i typed da previous edition of da coopy chronicle..(1) that we were being blessed tuesday night with da movie stars buddy richs' 1959 cadillac..(project car of course..gawd )..they bring this batmobile lookin type relic of a car covered in 23 years worth of dust enuff to gimme a sinus headache...his buddy comes in n wants ta use da phone to call his wife..i say.."no fone bonin"..he says "is dat like phone sex?"..i'm sayin.."well duh,lol"..then he goes on to tell me how he's done it n he thought it was purty cool.......me.....""...i so don't wanna be thinkin bout it...iffen ya seen his wife you'd understand...da same woman dat once fer a wedding cut a dress down da sides n sewed in curtain panels so it'd fit.....i was sittin at da pc...so on da subject..wut do i do?..lol..i called him ova n showed him da Televibe site...LMAO..he was floored but thought it was awesome...n like da good representative i am (hopin i get one free outta pity,lol)...i tell him it comes wiff a male or a female attatchment.."u're not right, u kno dat?"..he says...yeah well...LOL..otha thing i was informed of last week was (2)...the kitchen floor was being installed sunday when pats dad n gary would do it...(i knew gary couldn't wait much longer, lol)...this meant appliances hadda be taken out n placed in da dinin room on saturday...(no cookin fer 2 days...)...ok no prob i say...
friday night...usual grocery shoppin night..went pretty quick no otha stops cuz movie star wasn't feelin too good, killer head cold (finally transfered, LOL...i have no shame...)...although i must say...didn't hinder his sexual appetite, then again da furker was prolly tryin to give it back,lol..poor guy was whooped tho..we go to bed n i'm like "how ya want it?"...he laughs n umm well we goin at it..(gotta leave SOME room fer da imagination, LOL)...doesn't he start singin.....in context wiff da how ya want it comment he's sing replyin..."i'm easyyyyyy...easy like sunday mornin..."...omg ..i start crackin up...i mean full out beltin it out complete with all da oohs n ahhhs in da furkin song.....this is muh husband.....i'm laffin, he's laffin...tryin to keep da momentum goin i tell him to shup fer he's furkin da sahara desert...LMFAO...wut a moment ....
saturday mornin, knowin wuts to come later...i took it upon muhself to make a phone call to da international bank of DAD n ask him to float us a loan to get da appliances outta hock so we aren't puttin da old ones back only to take em out again in july...dat darlene is one smart furker when she wants ta be,...so movie star was happy to hear dat n called da store n told them he would pick em up mon. night....afta work saturday movie star comes home intending to move the old appliances out to get ready fer da floor da next day...gets a call from pats brothers danny n pete (AKA tweedle dee n tweedle dum,lol)...pete bought da kids a new swingset...its 21 feet long ..n they're on their way to bring it n put it together ...mind u its downpours every half hour n an electrical storm warnin......rich was here too cleanin da batmobile relic...ok peeps..it took these 4 big strong men..4.5 hours to put this monster together....lmao...lightnin everywhere n these rocket scientists are weildin metal posts n tools all ova n these guys are laffin n jokin da whole time one joke in particular was dat they decided on da 21 foot set because as pete said "darlene would want the longest one"...FURKER, LOL......inside i had 6 kids (my 4 plus petes 1 n dannys 1...see i can count,lol)...all wantin to play on this thing in between downpours......yup i wanted to commit muhself but da fun was jus beginnin,lol...afta da swingset was done we all came in to eat dinner..pizza on account of no stove ...i hate pizza,lol...jus fyi....after dinner movie star says..."will one of you take my wife...."....his friends...""....then afta da pause..."over to get the paint n border she wants fer da kitchen"...goofball...lol...so danny takes me ...we go to home depot first..got our glue n stuff..looked at borders..ick...n more ick...so we decide to check out wal-mart..we're walkin thru n we're checkin out chicks along da way...me.."theres one"...danny..."i saw nipples"...LOL...omg too funny...we found a nice apple border with black chex on it..i was like yes it'll tie in wiff da black appliances...then we are lookin at paint colors..it occurs to me then n i look at him..."u're colorblind..aren't ya?.."..."why yes i am,lol"...good lawd...lol, so i'm on muh own...but i picked out a creamy yellowish color called angel cake...then we were off..get to da parkin lot n its furkin pourin out..."gawd i'm gonna get all wet, this isn't good"...danny says..."yeah n in a small white tank top too..."...i fire right back,lol.."it's pink u color blind fuck.."...LMAO...was good fer a laff..kinda weird bein alone wiff him, we talked bout pat n how he's bored wiffout him, n how he shoulda gotten to da doctors sooner...wasn't bad jus awkward..then he tells me (n this will give insigt into danny,lol..guys a nut)..he found one of pats t-shirts at his house n put it up on da wall...then proceeded to tell me how durin radiation they made a molded-type face mask with eye cutouts of pat...n pat asked to keep it...anotha nut ...so wut did danny do?..he put da mask above the t-shirt n then put lightbulbs in it that light up da eyes.....n I"M morbid???...LOL...he's like "wut?..it's cool, n pat woulda loved it"..which is true no arguement there,lol......when we got back to da house, movie star was no joke, old floors ripped up, old wallpaper all down, fixtures down, old appliances into da dinin room...when the guys left he stayed up n painted...looks good..n he approved of da color..like he shoulda, lmao...
sunday mornin phil (their dad) shows up..i'm like.."i'm gonna go shower quick"...phil says "lemme kno if ya need help washing yer back"...n i wonder where his sons get their perviness from ...the floor...OMG i never heard so many obscenities outta garys mouth in one day..took em from 9-6 to do it...with many "gawd this stuff sux"(laminate hardwood floors) n "i never wanna use this stuff again"...LMAO...i stayed outta da way but it looks damn good...oh n sunday we had pizza ...movie star bordered the room sunday night n i was all happy...jus needed da appliances...oh n da rest of muh stuff on da walls n counters n shit...lol...so while i'm online movie star is puttin da knick knack thingamabobbers up n flowers n stuff then goes off to get me diet coke since they drank it all...within dat 10 minutes i had gotten offline n gone to da kitchen n rearranged it all...LOL..everything has a spot wiff me, lol..i'm anal dat way..yes i said anal,lol...he didn't care but i did get a mumble when he came back, lmaooo...
ahhh monday night...well afta work movie star met up wiff danny n rich at da house n they were off to get da appliances, in pats truck (well dannys truck,lol...dannys been told he cannot call it his, it'll always be pats,lol)...they get back n unpack da stuff..we have a 23, 600 btu air conditioner sittin on da back porch...(next project will be cuttin da gargantuan hole in muh wall near da computer fer this monster, whereas when runnin i'll need a snowsuit to keep warm while chattin..cuz lord knows i won't leave, lmao..."oh look at how cute coopy looks in her scarf n gloves..in june..."..LMAO...)...they bring in the over da stove microwave n set it up...they were usin phrases such as..mount..n drill...n insert..n i was repeatin it all..lmao..rich asked me iffen i was in heat,lol..i said "always"..then they sawed one of muh cabinets off to make room fer da huge mutha furkin refrigerator...now heres a sidenote, but a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee sidenote...when gary decided months ago in that precious 25 minutes of binge spendin that we needed new appliances...he did not bother to measure anything he bought let alone wait n come back afta measurin da alotted space in our kitchen ...gawd this wuz gonna be ugly.....stove came in..no real issues there...then it was time to bring in da frig...rich hadda go home he kept sayin,lol...ok well...easier said than done..iffen SOMEONE woulda measured, HE'D have known it wasn't gettin thru our door, lmao..so its sittin on our porch..then...the rocket scientists get together n decide to take da doors off da frig, da hinges off both da doors on da frig n our door...locks, anything in da way......it gets in...i'm tellin em not to scratch da floor, lmao...they put it in da spot...measurments are way off..cabinet won't be able to fit between ...darlenes freakin, she needs her cabinets fer all her shit,lol...ok rich had to leave...apparently much faster now since i begin telling him he needs to get his wife a "bunny"..he says.."i heard the dolphin is better"...i'm like.."well the dolphin IS waterproof but i love muh bunny, i use him often"..LOL...garys laffin..rich is like "why ya doin this to me?..i gotta go home n she'll be sleepin"...i'm like.."yeah i have dat effect"...gary looks up from puttin da frig door back on..."whats dat?..gettin rich all horned up"...such a shit but we all hadda laff...then rich starts goin out da door n i swear i cannot remember how it started to get this remark but rich said sumfin n danny fired back.."so rich what you're sayin is that you're goin home to stick small things into a large hole"......i was in tears, omg, lmfao...gotta luv danny ...not sure he appreciated dat comment but,lol...dats true friendship right there,lol...then gary n danny put the frig in its spot n gary leveled da thing fer bout 30 minutes.. he's gotta have it perfect,such a pain in muh arse,lol..danny n i joked about the movie children of the corn n he again commented to gary that.."i did things with your wife i'd never do when i had muh own"..(get paint n border peeps,lol)...next came da cabinet ...it did fit..jus BARELY...ok its 11pm...we have all kinds of saws in muh kitchen goin off gettin this thing to wedge in there..it was leatherfaces dream i swear all these saws goin at it...lol...when it was in place danny hadda go he was barely awake,lol...he'll be back tonight tho, takin out da old stuff...lol...poor guy...poor me i get an extra kid, his daughter,lol...ah free entertainment fer da kids,lol...all in all it was a good remodelin experience...kitchen looks great, i love the stuff...all black appliances (to which pete joked i was reminiscing about growin up in da hood to choose black)..it'll take me a week to learn how to use da stove tho,lol..
ahh n yes muh dreams, lmaooo...been kinda strange as of lately..ya see...lol...sunday mornin when i woke up...i told chris n gary that i had a dream that there was a horse walkin round our backyard...it came up to the front porch n began to TELL me about its hurt ankle......i dunno peeps, but sumfins wrong when farm animals start speakin i think...maybe i outta look dat up,lol...chris jus gave me a look n said.." yer weird mom,lol"...yeah well wut else is new,lol..next dream was wakin up monday kinda shakin muh head...i had a dream i was livin back home (in da hood) wiff da service station across da street n da cops all there...i'm inside da house n michael myers shoots me twice.....i crawl muh ass ova to da station..next frame of this FURKED UP dream..i'm cuddled up to him...(michael myers ) n we're discussin our child then i'm lickin his nipples ...LMAO..i jus don't get it, lmaooo am i THAT warped???...LMAO...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK...well on dat note,lol...well dat n da fact dat i jus asked chris wut was wrong wiff cakie to which he replyed.."she's bitchin".......gawd....n he keeps sayin it..i keep askin him"wuts she doin?"..n he keeps sayin.."she's bitchin"...you'd think he'da caught on by the fourth time of repeating that its something he shouldn't be sayin..well dat er' maybe moms ready fer miracle ear...lol..neva a dull moment peeps...keep yer fingers crossed dat lisa pops dat lil kiwi soon...like really soon...like tonight,lol...but then again..i could stay outta spawn class anotha week no prob, lmao...k i'm outtie...enjoy da novel...lol
coopy
2. spur of da moment remodelization projects are a pain in muh arse...
3. 1 horrible tune from the past when sang at the wrong moment can really furk up a good sexual experience...
4. when shoppin fer paint..do not take along a color-blind man...
5. appliances bought on a whim should always be MEASURED before purchasing...
6. i have some pretty furked up dreams...
now dat i have yer attention.....kk...well yes...lisa still has not popped...last monday she lost 3 pounds, this monday she lost anotha 3...good fer her but dammit wheres muh baby?..lol...dr. gates said he hopes to see her b4 next monday...i'm not holdin muh breath anymore..furk...friday night da phone rang n i look at da caller id..it was lisa..i was like "woohoo we're havin a baby!"...i pick it up..nope she jus wanted to ask me some bs question bout some lil cramp,lol..oh n garys standin there goin " we're???"...LOL...i'm excited damnit...
i was informed 2 things last week afta i typed da previous edition of da coopy chronicle..(1) that we were being blessed tuesday night with da movie stars buddy richs' 1959 cadillac..(project car of course..gawd )..they bring this batmobile lookin type relic of a car covered in 23 years worth of dust enuff to gimme a sinus headache...his buddy comes in n wants ta use da phone to call his wife..i say.."no fone bonin"..he says "is dat like phone sex?"..i'm sayin.."well duh,lol"..then he goes on to tell me how he's done it n he thought it was purty cool.......me.....""...i so don't wanna be thinkin bout it...iffen ya seen his wife you'd understand...da same woman dat once fer a wedding cut a dress down da sides n sewed in curtain panels so it'd fit.....i was sittin at da pc...so on da subject..wut do i do?..lol..i called him ova n showed him da Televibe site...LMAO..he was floored but thought it was awesome...n like da good representative i am (hopin i get one free outta pity,lol)...i tell him it comes wiff a male or a female attatchment.."u're not right, u kno dat?"..he says...yeah well...LOL..otha thing i was informed of last week was (2)...the kitchen floor was being installed sunday when pats dad n gary would do it...(i knew gary couldn't wait much longer, lol)...this meant appliances hadda be taken out n placed in da dinin room on saturday...(no cookin fer 2 days...)...ok no prob i say...
friday night...usual grocery shoppin night..went pretty quick no otha stops cuz movie star wasn't feelin too good, killer head cold (finally transfered, LOL...i have no shame...)...although i must say...didn't hinder his sexual appetite, then again da furker was prolly tryin to give it back,lol..poor guy was whooped tho..we go to bed n i'm like "how ya want it?"...he laughs n umm well we goin at it..(gotta leave SOME room fer da imagination, LOL)...doesn't he start singin.....in context wiff da how ya want it comment he's sing replyin..."i'm easyyyyyy...easy like sunday mornin..."...omg ..i start crackin up...i mean full out beltin it out complete with all da oohs n ahhhs in da furkin song.....this is muh husband.....i'm laffin, he's laffin...tryin to keep da momentum goin i tell him to shup fer he's furkin da sahara desert...LMFAO...wut a moment ....
saturday mornin, knowin wuts to come later...i took it upon muhself to make a phone call to da international bank of DAD n ask him to float us a loan to get da appliances outta hock so we aren't puttin da old ones back only to take em out again in july...dat darlene is one smart furker when she wants ta be,...so movie star was happy to hear dat n called da store n told them he would pick em up mon. night....afta work saturday movie star comes home intending to move the old appliances out to get ready fer da floor da next day...gets a call from pats brothers danny n pete (AKA tweedle dee n tweedle dum,lol)...pete bought da kids a new swingset...its 21 feet long ..n they're on their way to bring it n put it together ...mind u its downpours every half hour n an electrical storm warnin......rich was here too cleanin da batmobile relic...ok peeps..it took these 4 big strong men..4.5 hours to put this monster together....lmao...lightnin everywhere n these rocket scientists are weildin metal posts n tools all ova n these guys are laffin n jokin da whole time one joke in particular was dat they decided on da 21 foot set because as pete said "darlene would want the longest one"...FURKER, LOL......inside i had 6 kids (my 4 plus petes 1 n dannys 1...see i can count,lol)...all wantin to play on this thing in between downpours......yup i wanted to commit muhself but da fun was jus beginnin,lol...afta da swingset was done we all came in to eat dinner..pizza on account of no stove ...i hate pizza,lol...jus fyi....after dinner movie star says..."will one of you take my wife...."....his friends...""....then afta da pause..."over to get the paint n border she wants fer da kitchen"...goofball...lol...so danny takes me ...we go to home depot first..got our glue n stuff..looked at borders..ick...n more ick...so we decide to check out wal-mart..we're walkin thru n we're checkin out chicks along da way...me.."theres one"...danny..."i saw nipples"...LOL...omg too funny...we found a nice apple border with black chex on it..i was like yes it'll tie in wiff da black appliances...then we are lookin at paint colors..it occurs to me then n i look at him..."u're colorblind..aren't ya?.."..."why yes i am,lol"...good lawd...lol, so i'm on muh own...but i picked out a creamy yellowish color called angel cake...then we were off..get to da parkin lot n its furkin pourin out..."gawd i'm gonna get all wet, this isn't good"...danny says..."yeah n in a small white tank top too..."...i fire right back,lol.."it's pink u color blind fuck.."...LMAO...was good fer a laff..kinda weird bein alone wiff him, we talked bout pat n how he's bored wiffout him, n how he shoulda gotten to da doctors sooner...wasn't bad jus awkward..then he tells me (n this will give insigt into danny,lol..guys a nut)..he found one of pats t-shirts at his house n put it up on da wall...then proceeded to tell me how durin radiation they made a molded-type face mask with eye cutouts of pat...n pat asked to keep it...anotha nut ...so wut did danny do?..he put da mask above the t-shirt n then put lightbulbs in it that light up da eyes.....n I"M morbid???...LOL...he's like "wut?..it's cool, n pat woulda loved it"..which is true no arguement there,lol......when we got back to da house, movie star was no joke, old floors ripped up, old wallpaper all down, fixtures down, old appliances into da dinin room...when the guys left he stayed up n painted...looks good..n he approved of da color..like he shoulda, lmao...
sunday mornin phil (their dad) shows up..i'm like.."i'm gonna go shower quick"...phil says "lemme kno if ya need help washing yer back"...n i wonder where his sons get their perviness from ...the floor...OMG i never heard so many obscenities outta garys mouth in one day..took em from 9-6 to do it...with many "gawd this stuff sux"(laminate hardwood floors) n "i never wanna use this stuff again"...LMAO...i stayed outta da way but it looks damn good...oh n sunday we had pizza ...movie star bordered the room sunday night n i was all happy...jus needed da appliances...oh n da rest of muh stuff on da walls n counters n shit...lol...so while i'm online movie star is puttin da knick knack thingamabobbers up n flowers n stuff then goes off to get me diet coke since they drank it all...within dat 10 minutes i had gotten offline n gone to da kitchen n rearranged it all...LOL..everything has a spot wiff me, lol..i'm anal dat way..yes i said anal,lol...he didn't care but i did get a mumble when he came back, lmaooo...
ahhh monday night...well afta work movie star met up wiff danny n rich at da house n they were off to get da appliances, in pats truck (well dannys truck,lol...dannys been told he cannot call it his, it'll always be pats,lol)...they get back n unpack da stuff..we have a 23, 600 btu air conditioner sittin on da back porch...(next project will be cuttin da gargantuan hole in muh wall near da computer fer this monster, whereas when runnin i'll need a snowsuit to keep warm while chattin..cuz lord knows i won't leave, lmao..."oh look at how cute coopy looks in her scarf n gloves..in june..."..LMAO...)...they bring in the over da stove microwave n set it up...they were usin phrases such as..mount..n drill...n insert..n i was repeatin it all..lmao..rich asked me iffen i was in heat,lol..i said "always"..then they sawed one of muh cabinets off to make room fer da huge mutha furkin refrigerator...now heres a sidenote, but a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee sidenote...when gary decided months ago in that precious 25 minutes of binge spendin that we needed new appliances...he did not bother to measure anything he bought let alone wait n come back afta measurin da alotted space in our kitchen ...gawd this wuz gonna be ugly.....stove came in..no real issues there...then it was time to bring in da frig...rich hadda go home he kept sayin,lol...ok well...easier said than done..iffen SOMEONE woulda measured, HE'D have known it wasn't gettin thru our door, lmao..so its sittin on our porch..then...the rocket scientists get together n decide to take da doors off da frig, da hinges off both da doors on da frig n our door...locks, anything in da way......it gets in...i'm tellin em not to scratch da floor, lmao...they put it in da spot...measurments are way off..cabinet won't be able to fit between ...darlenes freakin, she needs her cabinets fer all her shit,lol...ok rich had to leave...apparently much faster now since i begin telling him he needs to get his wife a "bunny"..he says.."i heard the dolphin is better"...i'm like.."well the dolphin IS waterproof but i love muh bunny, i use him often"..LOL...garys laffin..rich is like "why ya doin this to me?..i gotta go home n she'll be sleepin"...i'm like.."yeah i have dat effect"...gary looks up from puttin da frig door back on..."whats dat?..gettin rich all horned up"...such a shit but we all hadda laff...then rich starts goin out da door n i swear i cannot remember how it started to get this remark but rich said sumfin n danny fired back.."so rich what you're sayin is that you're goin home to stick small things into a large hole"......i was in tears, omg, lmfao...gotta luv danny ...not sure he appreciated dat comment but,lol...dats true friendship right there,lol...then gary n danny put the frig in its spot n gary leveled da thing fer bout 30 minutes.. he's gotta have it perfect,such a pain in muh arse,lol..danny n i joked about the movie children of the corn n he again commented to gary that.."i did things with your wife i'd never do when i had muh own"..(get paint n border peeps,lol)...next came da cabinet ...it did fit..jus BARELY...ok its 11pm...we have all kinds of saws in muh kitchen goin off gettin this thing to wedge in there..it was leatherfaces dream i swear all these saws goin at it...lol...when it was in place danny hadda go he was barely awake,lol...he'll be back tonight tho, takin out da old stuff...lol...poor guy...poor me i get an extra kid, his daughter,lol...ah free entertainment fer da kids,lol...all in all it was a good remodelin experience...kitchen looks great, i love the stuff...all black appliances (to which pete joked i was reminiscing about growin up in da hood to choose black)..it'll take me a week to learn how to use da stove tho,lol..
ahh n yes muh dreams, lmaooo...been kinda strange as of lately..ya see...lol...sunday mornin when i woke up...i told chris n gary that i had a dream that there was a horse walkin round our backyard...it came up to the front porch n began to TELL me about its hurt ankle......i dunno peeps, but sumfins wrong when farm animals start speakin i think...maybe i outta look dat up,lol...chris jus gave me a look n said.." yer weird mom,lol"...yeah well wut else is new,lol..next dream was wakin up monday kinda shakin muh head...i had a dream i was livin back home (in da hood) wiff da service station across da street n da cops all there...i'm inside da house n michael myers shoots me twice.....i crawl muh ass ova to da station..next frame of this FURKED UP dream..i'm cuddled up to him...(michael myers ) n we're discussin our child then i'm lickin his nipples ...LMAO..i jus don't get it, lmaooo am i THAT warped???...LMAO...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK...well on dat note,lol...well dat n da fact dat i jus asked chris wut was wrong wiff cakie to which he replyed.."she's bitchin".......gawd....n he keeps sayin it..i keep askin him"wuts she doin?"..n he keeps sayin.."she's bitchin"...you'd think he'da caught on by the fourth time of repeating that its something he shouldn't be sayin..well dat er' maybe moms ready fer miracle ear...lol..neva a dull moment peeps...keep yer fingers crossed dat lisa pops dat lil kiwi soon...like really soon...like tonight,lol...but then again..i could stay outta spawn class anotha week no prob, lmao...k i'm outtie...enjoy da novel...lol
coopy
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